Divorce Court Judge Rules That Couple Are Morons

In a scathing decision that’s going viral, an Ontario divorce court judge slammed a couple for “marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder,” among other considered opinions.

Ontario Superior Court Judge Joseph Quinn‘s probably seen his share of bad divorces, but this one — wildly uncivil, abusive and all-around dysfunctional — was apparently on another level. Indeed, found the judge, the wife had destroyed her husband’s relationship with their daughter “irreparably.” (Although the dad, said Quinn, possesses “a near-empty parenting tool box.”) This perhaps explains why she was given full custody, while he was ordered a mere $1 in child support.

The judge also pronounced the idea of reconciliation “laughable,” noting Catherine’s attempt to run Larry over — “always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart.” Further evidence? Mutual threats, Hell’s Angels, and Larry’s habit of giving his wife’s house the bird whenever he passed. Observed Quinn, “a finger is worth a thousand words and therefore, is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words.”

It’s funny — and we’d have a drink with Judge Quinn any day of the week — but the real loser appears to be the daughter given that, in his honor’s words, both parents are “immune to reason.” It’s hard not to cringe for her — and wish her the best.