5 Out Of 6 Housewives Agree: Nene Is Completely Delusional

Last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta was full of surprises: a surprise baby shower for Kim, a surprise trip to Miami, and Phaedra's "surprise" ultimatum to her husband to get involved in the new "family business" (the funeral home) or get out. However, nothing was as surprising as when Nene revealed her simple requirements for a man: there's no need to be a good kisser as long as they're a "good…eater." She wasn't talking about food.

Not at all surprising was the constant shit-talking behind Nene's back. At a lunch with Sheree, Kim proudly stated, "I haven't talked to that bitch in, like, 10 months. I could care less." [Ed: "COULDN'T," not "could." That drives me insane.] But Kim inadvertently reveals exactly how much she really does care, thanks to her extensive knowledge of Nene's Celebrity Apprentice stint.

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I find it hard to watch any scene with Phaedra. Her funeral home story line is less realistic than the time Ramona tried to convince everyone that she might be pregnant. It even tops last season's claims by Phaedra that her pregnancy was only X months along to try and hide the fact that she was pregnant when she got married**. If her schtick were a parody, could almost be funny.

Kroy... has Kim Humphries reached out to you yet? You poor, dumb, sweet, kid. You seem really swell. But you won't even know what hit you. Please, do look into that outdoor consulting gig for your post-NFL career. You'll need it when Kim goes back to slumming it as Big Poppa's mistress. You're young and cute, but you won't always be. Big Poppa might be old, but he isn't "pro-athlete rich", he's "Oprah wealthy".

Kandi is pretty awesome. Plus, her daughter is soooo adorable.

*For the uninitiated, she's on RHoNYC, mid-fifties and soaked in Pinot Grigio 24 hours a day.

**A total non-issue last season for everyone until she was basically insulting their intelligence (and the audience's) with vague, lawyer-y lies.