4Chan Declared War on Feminism without Finding Out What Feminism Is

Last week, 4chan community /b/ attempted to do like it do and troll the internet. The latest prank involved peppering Twitter and Instagram with the tag #bikinibridge, which is the goofball term for when, according to the Urban Dictionary, “bikini bottoms are suspended between the two hip bones, causing a space between the bikini and the lower abdomen.” What /b/ hoped for was to get a fake phenomenon reported on like it was real, but it turns out that that was only one part of a much larger scheme. What /b/ really wants is to trick feminists into being hot.

Goddess help us, they’re coming for our miserable, ugly faces and bodies. What on Earth will we do?

/b/, coupling with the 4chan “politics” board /pol/, is devoted to carrying Operation Bikini Bridge over into a new project called Operation Fourth Wave Feminism. That sounds exciting, doesn’t it? What exactly is fourth wave feminism? Well, according to these dorks, fourth wave feminism is hot women fighting for the right to look hot and not-hot women getting so mad that feminism eventually shreds itself to pieces.

So what they plan to do is dismantle feminism with in-fighting between hubba hubba hotties and ugly-face uggos. Well, to quote feminist scholar Buffy Summers, “I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots.” For one thing, a big part of third wave feminism is about accepting other people’s bodies as they are, even if they happen to be, like, really pretty, so maybe the folks behind Operation Fourth Wave Feminism should pick up a book and figure out what feminism actually is before they decide how best to “dismantle” it.

Besides, it’s not like the world of feminism isn’t used to disagreement. Like with any political, social movement, debate is constant. Whether it’s about intersectionality, or Taylor Swift, or the wage gap or the fucking thigh gap, we’re always going to be grappling about something because it’s through argument and discussion that minds are changed. That’s how we advance, not how we fail.

That said, the next time I meet a feminist who is prettier than me, I will rip her goddamn face off and wear it as a battle mask. LET THE WAR COMMENCE.