The subject of the most recent installment of US Weekly's "25 Things" is TV host and liberal who makes me not want to be a liberal anymore Bill Maher. It's just as insufferable as you'd expect, but it's in the wrong order. I fixed it.
From least to most obnoxious, here is the Bill Maher on Bill Maher list, reordered.
14. My parents met in Europe in World War II. My mom was a nurse. [Ed note: cute! Not obnoxious]
18. I always have two dogs.
3. I've never missed a taping of either Politically Incorrect or Real Time.
6. I jump on a trampoline every day. I believe it is good for my lymph system. [Ed note: trampolines rule.]
10. I would rather have to deal with a tiger than a spider.
4. The only time I missed a stand-up show was when fog closed an airport!
19. I love to bodysurf.
15. I make a great omelet. My secret ingredient is a diced baked potato.
21. I throw an annual party late Christmas night for those sick of family.
1. I play basketball every day.
7. My choice in spirits: tequila and tonic over ice.
8. My favorite movie is Saving Private Ryan, which is also George W. Bush's!
20. I like to climb trees and always pick my own lemons and grapefruits from the trees in my yard.
2. I have been a PETA board member since 1997.
16. I needed 120 credits to graduate college and had that exact amount.
22. I like fireproof file cabinets the way Jay Leno likes cars. I have almost as many.
23. I'm not good at math, but I can remember dates of any random event.
17. I have more than 5,000 songs in my iPod and I've listened to them all in alphabetical order. Twice.
9. I've kept a health log since 1975 with any medications I ever took.
24. Someone once called me a male chauvinist lamb and I was OK with it.
5. I'm a minority owner of the New York Mets.
12. I juice at least six vegetables every day.
11. I got my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2010.
13. I gave President Barack Obama's super PAC $1 million in 2012.
25. I've been nominated for 34 Emmys and only won once – was it something I said?
Nah. That couldn't possibly be it.
Image via Getty.