$13,000-a-Jar Moisturizer Will Help Your Skin Cells 'Radiate Light'

Illustration for article titled $13,000-a-Jar Moisturizer Will Help Your Skin Cells Radiate Light

If you're fabulously wealthy, capricious, and so vain that the only substance able to keep your face molecules from melting is a fine amalgam of silk and pearls that took four pearl divers each to retrieve, then by gosh do I have good news for you! A new face cream — though "face cream" is probably too vulgar a phrase, since what we're really talking about is a nearly invisible compound that can be applied as a forcefield to keep the poors from ever mingling their French fry and cola breath with your skin cells — is "available" at a cost per gram of $260, more than four times the value of 24-carat gold, which currently hovers somewhere around $56 per gram.

Has your interest been aroused from its internet slumber? In order to celebrate the 30th anniversary of its super-expensive, strictly-for-people-who-don't poop Clé de Peau Beauté line, Japanese cosmetics brand Shiseido has unveiled a limited-edition moisturizer called simply La Crème, a bottle of which goes for 1.05 million Japanese yen, or a little more than $13,000. La Crème is made of crushed pearls, silk and the tears of the very last Bengal tiger, the better to "support the skin's nanostructure and help skin cells radiate light." Shiseido commissioned French crystal maker Saint-Louis (which boasts that it was making glass and fabricating crystal before the Turks were clear of Vienna) to make three and only three handcrafted jars to hold 50 milliliters each of La Crème. The jars have platinum bands (three platinum bands) and a gold-colored spatula, you know, for irony.

Shiseido will start taking orders for La Crème on Sept. 20, and has announced that if more than three orders are placed, a good old fashioned lottery will be held and the winner will be stoned to death with all three jars of Le Crème. For all you normies, a more affordable 84,000 yen version has been concocted and will be sold with Happy Meals at a McDonald's near you.


Is This Face Cream Really Worth Its Weight in Gold? [WSJ]

Image via Africa Studio/Shutterstock.

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ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Bear Privilege is a Liberal Hoax

Just for kicks I looked up some articles, and there might actually be a scientific basis for it o_O


Nacre-driven water-soluble factors promote wound healing of the deep burn porcine skin by recovering angiogenesis and fibroblast function.


To assess the recovery effect of water-soluble components of nacre on wound healing of burns, water-soluble nacre (WSN) was obtained from powdered nacre. Alterations to WSN-mediated wound healing characteristics were examined in porcine skin with deep second-degree burns; porcine skin was used as a proxy for human. When WSN was applied to a burned area, the burn-induced granulation sites were rapidly filled with collagen, and the damaged dermis and epidermis were restored to the appearance of normal skin. WSN enhanced wound healing recovery properties for burn-induced apoptotic and necrotic cellular damage and spurred angiogenesis. Additionally, WSN-treated murine fibroblast NIH3T3 cells showed increased proliferation and collagen synthesis. Collectively, the findings indicate that WSN improves the process of wound healing in burns by expeditiously restoring angiogenesis and fibroblast activity. WSN may be useful as a therapeutic agent, with superior biocompatibility to powdered nacre, and evoking less discomfort when applied to a wounded area.

(Although I'm still pretty sure that the components being used are overpriced by several orders of magnitude...)