11 Outfits Worn By Eva Longoria & Her Thighs During A Single Awards Show

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At some point, it became a thing for the host of an award show wear a different ensemble every time she hits the stage. Last night, Eva Longoria hosted the "prestigious" MTV Europe Music Awards, and fulfilled her presto-change-o requirements.

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As you can tell by this short satin number —truly putting the "little" in little black dress — Eva's thighs were her cohost for the evening.

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Another tiny dress, more thighs. Is this Natalie Portman's costume from Black Swan?

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This intergalactic purple thing marks a demure moment for the Desperate Housewives star.

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Since Eva covered up, she had some friends do the skin-baring for her.

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Barely-there beige boobsmasher!

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Red hot, tiny and tight — perfect for playing sports.

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Referencing Lady Gaga's meat dress, Eva hammed it up.

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If your eyes are not assaulted by the blinding pattern on this gown…

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Perhaps the side view — in which you see Eva trussed like a leg of lamb — will do the trick.

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What's that you say? This poop-colored dress is not that bad? And she's not showing any thigh? Don't be fooled. The fog hides a multitude of sins.

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Thighs! And a train. The crap-hued mullet dress will haunt my dreams.

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But the evening was all about THIGHS. Behold how Eva abandoned skirts altogether, and let her legs be free. You know what they say: Don't hide your light under a barrel! Let nothing come between your thighs and the world! (Heh. Come between your thighs. Ha.)

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And when Eva did try to cover those thighs, Katy Perry took it upon herself to stage an intervention.

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ABRA-THIGH-DABRA.

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"Thank you for being with us and celebrating the international language! No, not music. Legs! Specifically thighs. Goodnight!"

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DISCUSSION

I don't give a gam.

I'm too thigh to wear something like that.

I kneed that dress.

It's better than wearing a calftan.

/Leg puns.