Today in Florida: Woman Bashes Dude In the Head With a Garden Gnome

Garden gnomes are awkward, terrible little spirits/manifestations of our nightmares determined to help us save money on travelling, but apparently one can be used to cause even more terror and pain.

In today’s ultimate WTF news, a 47-year-old Florida woman named Lisa Buckley is facing domestic violence and battery charge after she allegedly bashed a garden gnome over some poor guy’s head. It all began when Buckley arrived at her home and proceeded to yell at the male victim, who is an acquaintance of Buckley’s. Yelling was not enough; Buckley began to throw stuff around the house. She eventually found a New Orleans Saints garden gnome and used it to hit the victim on the left side of his head.

The victim was left bleeding, but refused medical rescue from cops. Buckley fled the scene before the cops arrived (beckoned by the gnome spirits of the New Orleans Saints) and sent the victim a series of texts and phone calls urging him to tell the cops that his original report about this gnome-bashing was incorrect. Although this story is just another incident that demonstrates how ugh Florida can be, a PR makeover is truly due to gnomes, who have had a shitty month.

Woman, 47, Faces Domestic Violence Rap for Clobbering Guy in Head with Garden Gnome [Smoking Gun]