Through the miracles of sauvignon blanc and Lime-A-Ritas, we managed to survive an especially stupid summer. With only 8 million days left until Election Day, please allow these sweet woke baes to soothe your throbbing headache with their solid faces and even more solid morals.
Jax Taylor
Bae Factor
The truth of Jax’s hotness has caused quite the commotion here at Jezebel over the years. I’ll say this: I’m a fan of impartial bae determination. The only real reason Jax wouldn’t qualify as a bae is because of what we’ve seen on Vanderpump Rules. I truly believe that if you rolled on up to SUR for happy hour and he was behind the bar shaking you up some pink cocktail, you’d be into it.
Woke Factor: This is what we call “meeting the bare minimum,” but in this instance, I think it’s appropriate and generous for a number of reasons. During a drunken conversation, Jax learns about the pink tax and is aghast that birth control and tampons aren’t free. (Us too, buddy!) If there’s anyone who should be in favor of free birth control it really is this dude, and I’m glad he’s recognized that. We all arrive at our wokeness in different ways. For Jax, it was whiskey and a deep fear of fatherhood.
Greg Popovich
Bae Factor
You ARE gonna like bae when bae gets mad.
Woke Factor: Excuse the on-the-nose reference but Papa Pop went hard in the paint. Slam dunk! Swish! Free throws! Answering questions about August Woke Bae Colin Kaepernick’s protest, the San Antonio Spurs coach threw down words like “disgusting” because Pop is woke as hell and despite the fact that he coaches a game, he is not playing with you!
There was a Martin Luther King Jr. reference—and he called him “Dr. King” to boot. He brought up the backwards-ass bathroom law in South Carolina, our nation’s gun epidemic and Mike Brown, among many other issues. Poppy is Juan Valdez woke.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
