Are you worried that your mons pubis looks like a yeti, whereas most ladies house a pristine and proud (and patriotic?) bald eagle between their legs? Well, fret no more (or continue with the non-fretting) because sex isn't actually the hairless squirting facial bonanza that many pre-teen boys imagine it to be. But you probably already knew that if you've ever had sex.
Unfortunately for the young male population of America/editors of Maxim/are those the same people, porn has left many of us with a distorted idea of what sex actually looks like. It's okay, they'll have to grow up soon enough and join the rest of is in the land of 5.57-inch dicks and three-minute lovemaking.*
*Bad word? Or the worst word?