Affectionate Lion Cubs Will Make Your Pets Seem Tawdry and Boring

Unless you’re a ogre (and if you are, that’s completely fine, you do you), you can’t look at a lion cub without feeling that little instinctual twang to smother it with cuddles. But two lion cubs?? Rolling around, batting each other playfully?? This is the sort of irresistible propaganda dictators use to climb the… » 10/20/13 2:30pm 10/20/13 2:30pm

Baby Panda Cries at a Sound Frequency That Will Melt Your Heart

Yuan Zai, the Tai Pei zoo’s newest giant baby cub, has been alive for just one month, but he has already turned into quite possibly the world’s most emotionally manipulative creature. Watch out for this one — one day, if we’re not careful, he’ll become president of the world thanks to a remarkably persuasive speech… » 8/15/13 11:15pm 8/15/13 11:15pm

Ohio Zoo Wants Rhino Siblings to Get All Flowers in the Attic Together

As the species numbers dwindle, the Cincinnati Zoo is hoping to mate their only lady Sumatran rhino with her little brother. Well, I guess that's just one way a zoo can offer family SUPER friendly education. New slogan idea — Zoos: teaching kids how animals naturally act in the wild since... well, uh, hmm... » 7/21/13 9:30pm 7/21/13 9:30pm

Zabu the Tiger Ignores Everyone Else, Just Doesn't Give a Fuck

This is Zabu, a white tiger with an apparent fixation on a giant red ball. On this fine Friday, Zabu is probably pushing, swatting, biting, or defecating (animals do weird things) on her favorite ball, much to the disgust of the lion who has to watch all of these antics from a frustratingly far distance. Why can’t… » 6/07/13 2:50pm 6/07/13 2:50pm

Tapir Won't Listen to Other Animals' Advice About Avoiding Extinction

Everyone likes a good children's book, but you know what makes children's books way better? When someone else reads them to you. This children's YouTube video is about a boring homebody named Mrs. Tapir who won't take any suggestions from the other animals about how best to avoid extinction. It's a sad story,… » 5/05/13 9:25pm 5/05/13 9:25pm

Panada Fuckwatch Ends in Disappointment with Artificial Insemination

After about two months waiting with baited breath for the 36-hours window in which the giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang would have species-prolonging intercourse and give the British Isles a delightful baby panda, scientists at the Edinburgh Zoo announced that, because Tian Tian was showing signs that were not… » 4/21/13 1:00pm 4/21/13 1:00pm

Baby River Otter Eeps Its Way Through First Check-up

Check-ups aren't any fun, and nobody knows this better than animals, for whom a checkup is an inexplicable nightmare of bright lights, prodding, cold tables, and thermometer sodomy. This baby river otter (his name is Molalla, but let's just go ahead and call him Squibbles) deals with his check-up pretty stoically,… » 3/24/13 1:30pm 3/24/13 1:30pm

Panda FuckWatch 2013 Kicks Into High-Gear with Rigorous Panda…

Last weekend, officials at the Edinburgh Zoo made it explicitly, NC-17 clear that their resident giant pandas, Yang Guang and Tian Tian, are on the cusp of copulating. It could really happen any day now, and rather than be caught unawares by the Great Panda Fuckathon of 2013, zookeepers have been hard at work… » 2/24/13 3:00pm 2/24/13 3:00pm

Experts Say That Giant Pandas at the Edinburgh Zoo Will Soon Be Down to…

Giant pandas, the seldom-mating mammal that humans just won't allow to fade mercifully into extinction, are world-renowned for their reluctance to make new pandas, so it's pretty big news that the UK's only panda couple might be getting ready to do the sex to each other, or at least have scientists "assist" them with… » 2/17/13 2:00pm 2/17/13 2:00pm

I Cannot Stop Watching This Adorably Plump Beaver Wave to a Kid at the…

Whatever your opinions on zoos may be ("They're animal prisons!" "They're idyllic animal gardens!"), your opinion on beavers will be forever changed after watching this video. Beavers, contrary to Golden Age Nickelodeon cartoons, are not angry, nor are they vaginas — beavers are industrious woodland creatures that,… » 12/12/12 9:45pm 12/12/12 9:45pm

Woman Gives Birth at a Zoo in Syracuse and the Animals Just Stand…

A woman visiting the Rosamond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse gave birth on Friday while dallying at the bear exhibit and most likely wondering, "Do bears really like honey?" Then, bang — her uterus started contracting and a small team of emergency capuchin monkey midwives was quickly assembled to help the woman give birth… » 12/09/12 12:30pm 12/09/12 12:30pm

Meet Kiara: Mostly Lion, A Little Bit Tiger, Entirely Adorable

Born in a Russian zoo, baby Kiara's dad is an African lion and her mom's a liger: half-lion, half-tiger, which makes her the world's first hybrid "liliger." When Kiara's mom wasn't able to nurture the cub, a housecat named Dasha who belongs to one of the zookeepers stepped in (and for 20% additional squee, here they… » 9/22/12 12:00pm 9/22/12 12:00pm