Sochi Mess Has Finally Gone Too Far: U.S. Athletes Deprived of Yogurt

Somewhere in Newark Liberty International Airport, vessel containing 5,000 Chobani yogurt containers idly sits in refrigeration, its future unknown. The yogurt, meant to nourish the athletes of the US Olympic Team in Sochi, had been blocked by the Russian government on the grounds that the US has not submitted the… » 2/06/14 2:30pm 2/06/14 2:30pm

Oh No, Ladies: Chobani Greek Yogurt Linked to 89 Reports of Illness

Since Jezebel is a site for ladies and things ladies like, and since yogurt is the number one thing ladies like/want/see/eat/do/rub all over ourselves/others, I suppose we should talk about how a bunch of Chobani Greek yogurt manufactured in Twin Falls, Idaho has made 89 people ill with nausea and cramps. DAMMIT YOGURT … » 9/10/13 9:30pm 9/10/13 9:30pm

Meet the Foods That Are Trying to Murder You This Weekend

Food is good, except when it’s BAD, as in stabby-stab-stab in your pancreas and colon bad. Some foods have been masquerading as good, when in fact they are murderous psychopaths, determined to trick you to ingesting them so they can perforate your internal organs. The safe eater is the paranoid and over-informed eater, … » 9/07/13 2:30pm 9/07/13 2:30pm

Greek Yogurt's Global Takeover Continues With New Starbucks Brand

It's Greek yogurt, see. It's Greeker than regular yogurt. Eat it. You love it. All other yogurt must kneel before Greek yogurt. Zeus is now intergalactic hegemon of yogurt. Oh, so you think Zeus is not real? Foolish mortal. He sprang into form 'pon Mount Olympus because yogurt willed it so. Greek yogurt. Now Starbucks… » 7/24/13 11:00am 7/24/13 11:00am

It’s Only a Matter of Time Before We All Become Yogurt Zombies

A landslide of thick, protein-rich yogurt sludge is falling from Upstate New York onto the rest of the country, threatening to turn every single one of our public school children into yogurt zombies with an insatiable craving for whhhhheeeeeey. » 7/21/13 6:00pm 7/21/13 6:00pm

New Fancy Yogurt Cafe Makes Me Feel So Many Things

It was only a matter of time before our nation's irritating obsession with yogurt led to this: the new Chobani SoHo cafe, which has apparently quite successfully turned yogurt into a desirable designer product. "Pretty young things who like the white stuff have flocked there to gobble down fancifully topped, $4.25… » 9/26/12 4:00pm 9/26/12 4:00pm

How Many Breakfasts Can One Person Be Expected to Eat?

Remember back in the good old days when breakfast was a proper meal eaten around a kitchen table adorned with a pitcher brimming with OJ and a vase full of fresh flowers? Sausage links glistened under the rays of sunlight that streamed in, and butter was smeared all over pancakes without fear of clogging one's… » 2/29/12 11:00am 2/29/12 11:00am

Baby With Insatiable Desire For Yogurt Is Haunting Reflection Of Our…

Here is a baby who simply cannot get enough yogurt. We know the feeling. Maybe that's why when watching this infant — who looks similar to Rachel Dratch, actually — making a crazed expression and crying out for another spoonful of the gooey stuff feels a little like staring into our own souls. We've been there, buddy. » 12/01/11 3:30pm 12/01/11 3:30pm