Have you guys heard the one about the woman who made yogurt from her own vagina? No? Well then let me tell you a story that begins with the word "flora" and ends with the internet collectively losing its shit because a woman did something with her vagina and talked about it.

In the heady, stomachache-y days of 2010, it seemed this moment would never come. It felt like we'd be forever surrounded by cupcakes, with their stale, flavorless cake and their sugary, flavorless icing. No more proper cakes, no more cookies, no more pie. Just a zombie army of cupcakes.

After one week of US-Russian diplomatic arguments over whether Chobani yogurt could cross into Vladimir Putin's playground, Mother Russia has officially said no.

Somewhere in Newark Liberty International Airport, vessel containing 5,000 Chobani yogurt containers idly sits in refrigeration, its future unknown. The yogurt, meant to nourish the athletes of the US Olympic Team in Sochi, had been blocked by the Russian government on the grounds that the US has not submitted the…

The teaser ad for John Stamos' Oikos yogurt Super Bowl has arrived – and it features his old buddies Bob Saget and Dave Coulier.

Hey, laaaaaadiiiiiies!!! If there's one thing I know about you, it's that there's one thing you know about me, and that's that there's one thing we know about us, and that's YOGURT YOGURT YOGURT.

In case you missed it: this weekend, Young Lee, a cofounder of Pinkberry, was convicted of beating a homeless man in 2011. When even yogurt millionaires turn out to be bad people, who are we as ladies supposed to trust? Et tu, Yoplait?

After addressing the Chobani recall earlier this week, commenters posted disturbing Chobani yogurt photos. Then, we got this email with some more than slightly repulsive photos attached.

Since Jezebel is a site for ladies and things ladies like, and since yogurt is the number one thing ladies like/want/see/eat/do/rub all over ourselves/others, I suppose we should talk about how a bunch of Chobani Greek yogurt manufactured in Twin Falls, Idaho has made 89 people ill with nausea and cramps. DAMMIT…

Food is good, except when it’s BAD, as in stabby-stab-stab in your pancreas and colon bad. Some foods have been masquerading as good, when in fact they are murderous psychopaths, determined to trick you to ingesting them so they can perforate your internal organs. The safe eater is the paranoid and over-informed…

Second only to maybe Diet Coke, yogurt is the edible material most stereotypically associated with women. Why has it become so gendered? The answer is simple: bitches love yogurt.

It's Greek yogurt, see. It's Greeker than regular yogurt. Eat it. You love it. All other yogurt must kneel before Greek yogurt. Zeus is now intergalactic hegemon of yogurt. Oh, so you think Zeus is not real? Foolish mortal. He sprang into form 'pon Mount Olympus because yogurt willed it so. Greek yogurt. Now Starbucks…