Yahoo Shareholder Hits on Marissa Mayer Like a Total Creep

Hey! Here's a Big Business Idea for all the Big Businessmen reading this article right now (let's call it the Businesswomen's Special!): Try using a discarded pen lid for a tie clip, and also DO NOT ATTEMPT TO BANG THE FEMALE CEO DURING THE SHAREHOLDER MEETING. » 6/25/13 6:00pm 6/25/13 6:00pm

Marissa Mayer Promises to Leave Your Tumblr Porn Gifs Alone

As fervent Tumblr users already know, their beloved Internet home, replete with reality TV gifs and hashtag-confessions of a hashtag-teenage-tumblr-queen, has a new landlord. Yahoo announced a $1.1 billion deal Monday that will bring Tumblr under the corporation's wing. Though Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer promised "not to… » 5/21/13 1:20pm 5/21/13 1:20pm

It's (Mostly) Official: Yahoo Buying Tumblr Youth Serum for $1.1B

Cash! The WSJ says "the Yahoo board has approved a deal" to make this happen, and it's hard to imagine Tumblr turning this down. One of the most unpopular companies in the world will soon own one of the most popular in history, and we'll all find out if you really can buy cool. » 5/19/13 7:29pm 5/19/13 7:29pm

In What Universe Is Christina Hendricks' Body an 'Imperfection'?

An article called "Stars Who Embrace Their Imperfections — Not Your Average Hollywood Lookers" is obviously going to be idiotic because, Jesus Christ, "perfect" is hardly even a real thing. I know, I know — symmetry and proportions and blah blah blah, but when it comes to real life and real attraction, all of that shit… » 9/20/12 6:45pm 9/20/12 6:45pm

Cool Boss Marissa Mayer Is Giving New Smartphones to Yahoo Employees

In her effort to be the cool new Yahoo boss who has pre-cocktail hour cocktails at two and designates the third Wednesday of every month as Cookie Potluck Day, Marissa Mayer recently sent a memo to all full time (and part time!) Yahoo employees in the US informing them Oprah-style that they all get...smartphones!! Not… » 9/16/12 11:30am 9/16/12 11:30am

Marissa Mayer Can Buy 100 Million Things From the Dollar Store Thanks…

Marissa Mayer, who this week was announced as the new CEO of the Christian Slater of internet companies, is soon going to become one of those ridiculously blinged-out corporate executives that people complain about all the time. According to the Wall Street Journal, Mayer's contract is worth as much as $100 million in… » 7/20/12 10:25am 7/20/12 10:25am

Who Has It Easier, a Pregnant CEO or a Pregnant Maid?

When newly-coronated Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer announced that she and her husband were expecting their first baby in October, people who are not Marissa Mayer or Marissa Mayer's doctor immediately began speculating that having a baby would be a detriment to her ability to do her job. Some even went so far as to suggest… » 7/19/12 11:10am 7/19/12 11:10am

New Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer Announces She's Pregnant. Cue the Shitty,…

Last night, news broke that Yahoo's new CEO — former Google fixture Marissa Mayer — is six months pregnant. Her new employer was fully aware of the pregnancy when they brought her on, and did it anyway. They didn't care. Zero fucks given. Congratulations and "atta girl"'s echoed through the Twitter echo chamber. But you… » 7/17/12 3:50pm 7/17/12 3:50pm

Can Yahoo's New Young, Female CEO Stop Yahoo from Sucking?

Today, Yahoo sent purple exclamation points through Silicon Valley when it announced that longtime Google executive Marissa Mayer will be the company's new CEO. What would possess a woman to go from arguably the coolest internet company to arguably the saddest? Did Mayer bump up against it the world's highest glass… » 7/16/12 6:20pm 7/16/12 6:20pm

Kate's Balmain Copied; Punky Brewster Does Kids' Clothes

Once We've Warred With Iran, Russia And Spain, Who Will McCain-Palin…

Attacks from the McCain-Palin campaign aren't just for Barack Obama, Joe Biden and the nation of Russia anymore! The Repubs have moved onto bashing Hillary Clinton and, um, Spain. Luckily, Jason » 9/18/08 10:00am 9/18/08 10:00am and I don't move on as well as the GOP, so we talk more about Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild and her many, many friends…