Canadian Rapscallion Justin Bieber Should Be Deported, Says American Guy

Justin Bieber, the Menace from Manitoba, the Villain of Vancouver, the Cretin in Calgary, the Lawbreaker from London (that one is actually accurate) should be kicked out of the United States, a country whose innocence he has, with his loose Canadian morals and possible SOCIALIST sympathies, officially destroyed as of… » 2/02/14 2:00pm 2/02/14 2:00pm

Republican Tells Little Girl He'd Deport Her Dad, Crowd Cheers Wildly

What do you get when you take one well-known philandering Tea Partying Congressman who— let's face it — looks a lot like a penis, a little girl whose father is an undocumented immigrant who would get deported if aforementioned penis-pol had his way, and a room full of Tea Party voters? FUN TIMES galore! » 8/19/13 6:15pm 8/19/13 6:15pm

If You Hate Ladies & Are Scared of Muslims, You'll Love North Carolina

The latest state to hop on the nutty abortion law train is North Carolina, where the Senate just passed an anti-sharia law with a twist that not even the wiliest M. Night Shyamalan buff could have seen coming: an out-of-left field amendment that would basically ban abortion in the state. In the state legislature, it's… » 7/03/13 11:20am 7/03/13 11:20am

Protesters in Calif. City Are Pretty Upset About Alleged Chinese…

Motorists running their soul-sucking, Saturday-morning, strip-mall errands yesterday in Chino Hills, Calif. might have spotted a strange convocation of disgruntled citizens yesterday protesting what they believe is an "illegal Chinese maternity operation," which is reportedly being run out of a residential home… » 12/02/12 12:30pm 12/02/12 12:30pm

Costco Customers Call for 'Americans Only' Hours

Residents of Bellingham, WA (the jewel of Whatcom County), have started a Facebook group protesting the hordes of dirty, filthy foreigners clogging up their local Costco and taking all the parking spots. They want Costco to institute certain hours when only American-born members are allowed to impulse-purchase… » 8/15/12 7:45pm 8/15/12 7:45pm

Not Senseless, Not Random: The Deadly Mix of Race, Guns and Madness

It could be terrorism, but we don't yet know. It could be someone who has a beef with Sikhs. It's too early to talk about gun control. These statements ran in a continuous loop through my head yesterday, even when I wasn't watching coverage of the mass shooting at an active gurdwara in a suburb of Milwaukee.… » 8/06/12 4:40pm 8/06/12 4:40pm

Religious Zealots Move to Ban Abortion in Turkey — Hey, Just Like in…

Tale as old as time: the theocratic, male-dominated government is ignoring its country's other, more important problems in favor of focusing on limiting women's rights. But this saga isn't occurring stateside; it's happening in Turkey. And the women there aren't taking it lying down. » 6/04/12 2:10pm 6/04/12 2:10pm

Netherlands to Ban Burqas, Face Coverings

The government of The Netherlands has announced plans to ban the wearing of veils that cover the face of the wearer that will take effect within the year, citing the need to see people's faces when greeting them on the streets. The French immediately scoffed at the announcement, as the law is just a French knock-off. » 1/30/12 2:40pm 1/30/12 2:40pm

Horrible Racist Woman To Spend Christmas Yelling Epithets From Jail Cell

A 34-year-old English woman will be spending Christmas in jail after her request for bail was denied. She was originally thrown in the clink after she let out a racist (and apparently drunken) rant during a train ride, yelling about how immigrants should just go back to their own countries — naturally, the episode… » 12/07/11 12:20pm 12/07/11 12:20pm

Today in Political Nincompoopery: Xenophobia And Eiffelphilia

Everyone in the Republican Presidential field has said so many dumb things by this point in the campaign that it now appears that divorce expert and seasoned condescentionist Newt Gingrich might have a fighting chance to win the nomination. One candidate apologized for taking a sip of beer during his wayward teen… » 11/22/11 11:40am 11/22/11 11:40am