I hadn’t!!!!

CLEVELAND — Melania Trump addressed the Republican National Convention in Cleveland tonight, where she talked about what a hard worker Donald Trump is, what a promise-keeper he will be, and what strong values she hopes to pass to their son. It was both stirring and familiar, because Michelle Obama said a lot of it…

In a wonderful, wonderful demonstration of how the Internet Personal Essay Economy can go awry, xoJane ran a personal essay by a lady named Brenna Phares, about how she recovered from her painful breakup with the use of a “breakup box.” Turns out Brenna works for the company she was writing about, which she didn’t…

An incredible and very convincing response from a group of people who clearly felt obligated to say something. Philando Castile died Wednesday, shot by police after he told them he was licensed to carry a gun, as he reached for his ID, wearing his seatbelt, his girlfriend next to him and her daughter in the backseat.

It’s honesty week at Gawker Media, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned here, it’s this: Never forget not to not NOT judge a book by its cover. Inspired by BuzzFeed, we’ve put together a list of the most wrong and cruel things people think based on our appearances.

I’m just sorry that this little citizen has peaked so young.

Today is Super Tuesday, in which a bunch of states have their primaries, and where traditionally, whoever wins big tends to take their party’s nomination. Hahahaha. Remember when we all said Trump was definitely not going to be nominee? Remember those sweet and innocent times?

Gigi and Bella Hadid are two very successful models. They’re also the daughters of Yolanda Foster from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Mohamed Hadid, a very wealthy and prominent real estate developer. As sisters, they have a lot in common, but can you guess what sets them apart?

Tonight’s Powerball jackpot is $1.5 billion—a number so big I have a hard time comprehending what my life would be like if I were lucky enough to win it. Fortunately I’ve figured out a foolproof way of deciding one’s lucky numbers, and I’d like to share it with you below. So grab a sheet of paper and a pen, because…

A new year has dawned, and with it, new resolutions, and with that, new opportunities to perform things that are often made inert through over-performance—things like confidence, or sexual appeal, or diligence, or good intentions, particularly of the “ally” kind.

The video above shows a five-week-old little polar bear baby dreaming. I would throw myself on a bomb if it meant saving her.

Ohio Governor John Kasich is still running for president, in his quiet way, promising to make government “smaller, less costly and more responsive to our needs.” He’d like to do that by opening a brand-new government agency devoted to promoting “core Judeo-Christian Western values” around the world. Somewhere, to…

I mean—did you? To clarify what I’m asking here: Why did you think the store was named Staples? Because they are an office supply store and sell literal staples?

Donald Trump gave a speech in Dallas Monday night, and he was very, very proud not to be using a teleprompter. And he should be! It worked out great! In that we have the broadest, vaguest sense of what he was trying to say. Generally.

Welcome to Big Time Small-Time Dicks, a new regular column on The Slot that explores local politicians, small-town scandals and everything else making life miserable on a local level. Know a small time person who is a big time dick we should feature? Email us.