• Jezebel
  • celebrity
  • sex
  • fashion
  • Profile logout login

#worst80sromancehero

Jezebel

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #tips,
  • #snapjudgment,
  • #groupthink,
  • etc.

New York, 7:39 AM
Thu Nov 12
67 posts in the last 24 hours

Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter

Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter

Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter

Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter

Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email

Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter

Contributors:
Jenna Sauers
Email
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Lizzie Skurnick
Email

Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter


Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
Email | Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1770 Subscribers
Jezebel
  • posts about #worst80sromancehero more →

    "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."

    Worst 80's Romance Hero Contestant #2: Dr. Ralph Culver, Stormy Springtime.

    Worst 80's Romance Hero, Contestant #1: Jay Courtland, Rules Of The Game
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of SuperSally SuperSally
    07/01/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Can we have a Horrible Hero Plotfinder? Because I used to read my grandmother's romance novels after I had worked my way through all my library books (it was a weekly ritual we had, and I miss it).


    I remember one--it was of the rugged Native/kidnapped white girl variety. She has to learn to bathe with sand instead of soap, everyone is really horrible to her, of course she realizes she loves him, gets pregnant, runs away, and comes back only to have everyone be really horrible to her all over again.

     Reply
    SuperSally was starred SuperSally was unstarred
    Image of Ipomoea Ipomoea
    07/01/09

    @SuperSally: Rugged Native/kidnapped white girl is probably Cassie Edwards. Her specialty is Native/white person romances, when she's not plagarizing everything that crosses her path. They are HILARIOUSLY awful, to the point that you can tell when she starts to cut-and-paste from another source because the writing gets 100X better. I read one by her that had a Makah hero and a white-girl heroine, and I wish she'd copied more because she was hilariously inaccurate with regards to both the Makah and the PNW landscape.
     Reply
    Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred
    Image of zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Is The Road To Forever's Owen Tudor the Worst 80s Romance Hero of All Time?


    Yes. Yes, he is.

     Reply
    zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was starred zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was unstarred
    Image of zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    where are the cream cakes in this story?

    and ladies, here's how you know a man loves you:

    he hardly ever calls you a vicious little bitch.
     Reply
    zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was starred zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was unstarred
    Image of Bryn Bryn
    06/30/09

    @zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce: Mr. Bryn called me a vicious little bitch only every OTHER date, and that's how I knew he was the one for me! JK.
     Reply
    Bryn was starred Bryn was unstarred
    Image of zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
    06/30/09

    @Bryn: then you are one of the lucky ones cuz that's love rite there.
     Reply
    zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was starred zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was unstarred
    Image of earthgirl earthgirl
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    I see your "Road to Forever", Sadie, and raise you "Devil's Embrace" by Catherine Coulter. That, for my money, has the worst romance hero of the 80s, if not ever. He decides he loves her when she's 14 and he's in his 30s; he pays the governess to raise her to his specifications; he kidnaps her just before her wedding to someone else, then rapes her so she doesn't get any fool ideas in her head about escaping. And he keeps raping her until she falls in love with him. And that's the hero. You can tell he is, because he uses lubricant.


    Full review is here: [www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com]

     Reply
    earthgirl was starred earthgirl was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: He uses lubricant when he rapes her?! He's a prince among men. I'm sorry you must have misunderstood, this feature is about finding the WORST Romance Hero.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @bluebears: in case it wasn't obvious


    /sarcasm

     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: GAH! At least he uses lubricant. But I don't understand why the raping is supposed to make her not run away. It is like "I'm going to beat the shit out of you so you will stay!"
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of Ipomoea Ipomoea
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: Uh, if it's old Coulter, it's not lubricant, it's CREAM. /snark


    I love Smart Bitches so hard. Love, love, love. Any site that uses "mantitty" as a noun is amazing.

     Reply
    Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: that review is hilarious.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: but does he buy her cream cakes, I ask you.


    @deeemer: oh man, I kind of want to read it too. off to amazon.com!

     Reply
    zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was starred zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was unstarred
    Image of RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee) RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
    06/30/09

    @earthgirl: Love Smart Bitches! Wait... Wasn't "Devil's Embrace" also the one where the heroine is viciously gang raped and the "hero" *ahem* sews her up? Ewwww
     Reply
    RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee) was starred RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee) was unstarred
    Image of Ipomoea Ipomoea
    07/01/09

    @RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee): YES!
     Reply
    Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred
    Image of earthgirl earthgirl
    07/01/09

    @Ipomoea is a joyful girl: Have you read their book?? It's amazing. A bit uneven in spots, but still fully worth the price. It's making the rounds among my friends now.
     Reply
    earthgirl was starred earthgirl was unstarred
    Image of Ipomoea Ipomoea
    07/01/09

    @earthgirl: Do I have it?! I have an autographed copy from going to see Candy read on Saturday. We did group Regency romance Mad Libs, and Choose Your Own Romance (but she excluded the urban fantasy one for obvious reasons, she was reading in a bookstore).
     Reply
    Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred
    Image of deeemer deeemer
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Handicaps: No secret baby.
     Reply
    deeemer was starred deeemer was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    06/30/09

    @deeemer: Or (hot, female, adult) twins.


    No secret babies or twins = rape-mance fail.

     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Hahahahahahaaaa! Taste and try before you buy, that's my motto! They frown on it at the grocery store, but all my conquests love it!
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of rocknrollunicorn rocknrollunicorn
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Ok, this is a first. I read stuff on this site about loads of heart-wrenching or offensive crap, and I sit here silently and take it. But when I made it to the end of his list of quotes, I MOANED OUT LOUD.


    Not in ecstasy.


    He wins/loses/whatevers. HANDS DOWN.

     Reply
    rocknrollunicorn was starred rocknrollunicorn was unstarred
    Image of missteenwordpower missteenwordpower
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Were they really this obsessed with virginity in the 80s? It seems a little late for that, no?
     Reply
    missteenwordpower was starred missteenwordpower was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @missteenwordpower can haz star?: holy shit, we are STILL obsessed with virginity in 2009.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of missteenwordpower missteenwordpower
    06/30/09

    @bluebears: Definitely, but it's taken on a different vibe. Now we're focused on the WONDER and PURITY of virginity, rather than SHAME and HORROR of being "shopsoiled". Probably because the former is more PR-friendly.
     Reply
    missteenwordpower was starred missteenwordpower was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @missteenwordpower can haz star?: true. we're still pretty obsessed with it as a society though.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    So is this dude trying to tell us that he is trained enough to tell whether a woman is a virgin or not? Really? I'm guessing she could have soiled a lot of shops in real life and he'd never know.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of hydrogen_jukebox hydrogen_jukebox
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Is this a contest?


    Could he be the winner (loser?) already? Please?


    How do people write this stuff? Urgh. And I can't imagine anyone wanting to read anything like this for enjoyment, or for any other reason than to marvel, as we do, at the gargantuan misogyny.

     Reply
    hydrogen_jukebox was starred hydrogen_jukebox was unstarred
    Image of FattyCatty FattyCatty
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    What do you mean, we don't know he's a good guy? The proof that he is one is right in the title of the post - he HARDLY EVER called her a vicious little bitch now. Hardly ever!
     Reply
    FattyCatty was starred FattyCatty was unstarred
    Image of zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
    06/30/09

    @FattyCatty: to quote amy adams:

    "....that's how you he loves you, that's how you know he's true"
     Reply
    zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was starred zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce was unstarred
    Image of andBegorrah andBegorrah
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Can "shopsoiled" be the new "slut(ty)"? Please?
     Reply
    andBegorrah was starred andBegorrah was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @andBegorrah: i've already made a memo to file
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    ..reads them. Damn thumb hit send.
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Honest to goodness is anything as bad as a Harlequin? This is certainly NOT the worst. I hated them when I was young and dumb but have an aunt who STILL
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of little_librarian little_librarian
    06/30/09

    In reply to "He Hardly Ever Called Her A Vicious Little Bitch Now..."
    Can I just say that I freakin LOVE this feature? It makes me glad I didn't start reading romance until the trend had shifted away from all this.
     Reply
    little_librarian was starred little_librarian was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    06/30/09

    @little_librarian: me too! this new feature is the best. so funny!
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of Ipomoea Ipomoea
    06/30/09

    @little_librarian: Totally! Though I bought an old Catherine Coulter used recently, to remind me of what I was sneaking home when I was 12, as opposed to what I'm buying now (Emma Holly).
     Reply
    Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jezebel account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.