World Cup Soccer Stats Erase The Sport's Most Dominant Players: Women

There are few sporting events I get as excited about as the World Cup. I played soccer in high school, in the NCAA, and for five years post-college, including two glorious years in the Golden Gate Women's League, Premier Division. What the U.S. Men's National Team has accomplished is extraordinary, with a second… » 7/07/14 3:40pm 7/07/14 3:40pm

Behold the Girl Scout Cookie World Cup

The Girl Scouts of the USA have made a little video featuring a team of Thin Mints playing soccer against a team of Samoas. Predictably, it's adorable. Unpredictably, the video features a cameo by a bloodthirsty cookie they're calling Luis "Samoa" Suarez, after the recently-suspended Uruguayan player with a habit of… » 6/27/14 6:30pm 6/27/14 6:30pm

Genius Performance Artist Ann Coulter Is Now Pretending to Hate Soccer

Performance artist/"conservative pundit" Ann Coulter — whose previous bold works include "No Woman Should Be President" and "Screw You, Obama" — has debuted her newest piece, a brave and stunning indictment on American sports culture masked by a heightened and ridiculous tirade against soccer, on the Clarion-Ledger. » 6/26/14 6:45pm 6/26/14 6:45pm

World Cup Soccer Teams Face Consequences Over Homophobic Fans

Mexico and Brazil's World Cup soccer teams are facing disciplinary action following obnoxious behavior by their respective fan bases, who simply could not resist the urge to yell gay slurs at players from the other teams. But the two Latin American teams aren't the only ones with fan bases full of shitheads who can't… » 6/19/14 7:00pm 6/19/14 7:00pm

The Hottest Lists of Hot World Cup Players: A List

Did you know that the World Cup is full of hotties? Because it is full of hotties, as evidenced by the almost epidemic boom from zero to ubiquity of the Hot World Cup Player List, as put out by every single outlet in America. As a public service, we've put together the definitive list of definitive lists of hot World… » 6/16/14 4:00pm 6/16/14 4:00pm