Hey Guys, Wow, It's Literally Moby Dick

Looks like the early ‘00s really are coming back in style!
Fine Dining in the Land of Fire and Ice
I’ve never been an adventurous eater. For example, the most daring I’ve ever gotten with seafood is tuna from a can, and even then I drowned it in mayonnaise (like a true American). So when I decided to go on a solo trip to Iceland, I made a concerted effort to include the local cuisine in my diet, because what is…
These Scientist Nerds Freaking Out Over a Sperm Whale Are the Cutest
Look, it’s the most rare thing: pure human wonder, expressed by adults, in a respectable setting. Via BoingBoing, here is a video capturing the reaction of a handful of scientists on board the Exploration Vessel Nautilus, whose remote operation vehicle has descended to nearly 2,000 feet under the sea near the coast…
SeaWorld Is Doing Absolutely Terribly
SeaWorld announced Wednesday that in the third quarter of 2014, income and attendance were significantly down compared this time last year. Hmm, I wonder why?
Killer Whales Go Through Menopause, But Do They Get Hot Flashes?
Killer whales are one of only three species on the planet to experience menopause, and scientists believe the evolutionary trait is a result of whales' "unusual social structure," in which their adult children never really leave them. (On a side note: what the fuck is day two of a whale period like?)
Vancouver Women Complains That Museum’s ‘Whale Bone Porn’ Is Tickling Too Many Moby Dicks
A woman from Vancouver named Ann Pimentel has mounted a minor (and belated) modesty crusade against the Vancouver Maritime Museum's 19th century scrimshaw exhibit. Pimentel is worried that the exhibit will somehow damage her young children more than her aggressive sense of decorum, and she is demanding that the VMM…
Man and His Dog Find Ambergris, Which We Must All Remember Is Not the Same as Whale Turds
Ambergris, that versatile sperm whale excretion that Herman Melville wrote so prodigiously about when the ocean was just a Dave & Buster's for murdering sperm whales, can be a pretty valuable beachcombing find, way more valuable than a mostly intact conch shell, horseshoe crab, or buffalo nickel. Just ask unemployed…
Listen to This Dickhead Whale Making Fun of Humans
So, apparently some magic white whale figured out how to manipulate its nasal tract and surrounding musculature in order to mimic human speech. The whales are learning to talk y'all:
Male Killer Whales Are the Biggest Mama’s Boys of the Animal Kingdom
There are only a few lucky species of animals that experience the hormonal scrapple that comes with menopause. Humans, for example, experience menopause so that mothers-in-law don't spew too much vitriol on the temptresses that have bewitched their baby boys. And to conserve resources or whatever. Killer whales, on…
Hipster Whales Are Ruining the Neighborhood
Josh Siegel brings you animal art every Monday (except today it's Tuesday). Add your own requests in the comments, and maybe Josh will draw an animal for you.
Female Humpback Sets Record For Longest Trip Made By A Mammal
Excluding humans, that is. Because whales mate at breeding sites, she probably wasn't making the 6,200 miles from Brazil to Madagascar for love. "It could be that the animal got very lost," says a marine ecologist. Goddamn whale-gender stereotyping.
Sea World's Killer Whale Successfully Breeding
The literal killer whale who drowned a trainer at SeaWorld Orlando in February has impregnated two female whales, who will give birth to his calves this year. Sounds like a horror franchise in the making. [UPI.com]
