Say what you will about Sweden (I mean, unless you run an entire country), but their elected officials do a bang up job of putting their civic and sexual energies to use in a relatively appropriate, productive manner.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker isn’t going to be president, or vice president, or anything else other than Wisconsin’s personal cross to bear. And that’s fine, because it leaves him more time to pursue his deepest passion: making food stamp recipients pee in cups.
The Massachusetts Department of Children and Families plunged into its current wave of trouble in December 2013, when a five-year-old named Jeremiah Oliver disappeared, and his disappearance went unreported for months, despite his family being under investigation from child services. In the spring of 2014, his body…
Jeb Bush, in a concise summation of the mythical bootstraps ethos, told reporters at New Hampshire’s Union Leader that Americans need to work longer hours—despite the fact that Americans already work longer hours than citizens in any other industrialized nation. The hopeful future President of a country dealing with a…
In Wisconsin, state assembly members are trying to limit the amount of junk food public aid recipients can buy as well as enforcing mandatory drug screenings. In other news, only wealthy and middle class people deserve the high only a snack that’s bad for you can give.
There's nothing Tea Party freshman and ace troll Glenn Grothman of Wisconsin hates more than a handout: he's vocal on his feelings that welfare is "a bribe not to work that hard" and that food stamp programs "encourage sloth." Now Grothman is reportedly encouraging his constituents to ask a few hard questions of…
According to recently released figures from the Department of Human Services, only 0.2 percent of Tennessee welfare applicants failed a new drug screening in place for recipients of public assistance.
Aging Brillo pad Rand Paul has a brilliant suggestion for a weapon in his ongoing war against the terrifying dragon of the unwed single mother who won't stop living off the government: tell her that if she won't stop having kids, she doesn't get any more government benefits. Rand Paul also famously opposes giving…
Last week, one Chris Powell, managing editor of the Journal Inquirer out of Hartford, Connecticut used his plaform to lay down some facts about how single moms are ruining journalism. Some people (us!) didn't love this poorly written screed and used their platform to say as much. Powell became "the national…
Indiana's Republican Attorney General proposed a law that would require pregnant welfare recipients' benefits to be contingent on passing a series of drug tests; if they can't pass, they can't buy food. Great idea guys — what economically disenfranchised pregnant drug addicts need is some good old fashioned…
Remember that time the Tennessee public school system was gonna fuck over the kids who needed it most by cutting their families' welfare benefits if they didn't meet attendance or performance requirements?
Tennessee. What's up, friend? Quick question: How can the state that houses the happiest place on earth, aka Dollywood, be so fucking daft?
How about a change of pace? Ahem. You make me sick, you lazy socialist kitty-cats! Just lounging around Ernest Hemingway's Key West museum compound, having six toes and getting fat on government-subsidized Meow Mix like hardworking Real Americans owe you a living. Not in my America! In my America it's time for you to…
Sharon Hailey Aceta, an 8th grade math teacher at Rawlinson Road Middle School in Rock Hill, South Carolina, posted a sarcastic and highly inappropriate Facebook status update after Obama won a second term as President earlier this week:
The more naive readers out there might think there's only one kind of rape: forced sexual penetration. Ha! There's actually a bevy of rape flavors, including "rape" rape, "grey" rape, "legitimate" rape, "forcible" rape, and — last and most recent but certainly not least — rape by divine intervention.
The Michigan woman who continued to collect welfare after winning $1 million (which amounte to about $735,000) in the state lottery was found dead Saturday morning in home in Ecorse, which is southwest of Detroit. Investigators say that 25-year-old Amanda Clayton died of a possible drug overdose, which is just more…
Time to woefully set the giant "DAYS SINCE SOMEONE IN THE GOVERNMENT SAID SOMETHING ASININE ABOUT RAPE" sign back to 0. It seems that the state of New Mexico is trying to limit certain state aid to only women who can prove their child is the result of "forcible rape." Not that other, less awful sort of rape that…
Indiana Republican Jud McMillin has withdrawn his bill that proposes to test welfare recipients for the presence of illegal drugs after a Democrat in the state's General Assembly tacked on a provision in the bill that would require that legislators themselves also be tested for drugs. From this, we can safely conclude…
Great news, nobody! There's a new conservative talking head in town, and she's got "Baby Ann Coulter" written all over her. She's 20. She's perky. She hates poor people— a lot!— and she's flattered by marriage proposals from strangers.
A Florida judge has issued a temporary injunction that will stop enforcement of a measure that requires welfare applicants to be tested for drugs before receiving benefits. Now, if only a judge could declare the myth of the drug-addled welfare queen "dead."
