"wer you in zombieland?" "hi man. no. that's jesse eisenberg" Michael Cera takes his weirdo awkward comedy stylings to The New Yorker. Discuss… 11/18/13 6:10pm 11/18/13 6:10pm

Ugh, classic sheep. No respect for the dead, AS USUAL. A flock of woolly ne'er-do-wells in the small Berkshire village of Grazeley (pUn InTeNdEd BcUz SHEEP!!) have been running wild in the town churchyard, feasting wantonly on flowers and keepsakes left by mourners. Read… 11/11/13 9:35am 11/11/13 9:35am

Obviously this is a story out of the UK. It's the Britishiest British story ever Britted. The scene: Coddington, Nottinghamshire. We deal not with a fox wearing a feathered cap and tunic, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, but with a horse chosen to be a bridesmaid. Putting the mare in marriage. Read… 11/04/13 12:30pm 11/04/13 12:30pm

I cannot stop watching this man's master class performance of an attacking dog. This is some high-level method acting right here — Bryan Cranston doesn't have anything on this dude. I'm just not sure whether I should laugh, cry, or hide under my bed until this man no longer exists. Read… 8/27/13 10:40am 8/27/13 10:40am

And/or our dads. And/or our siblings. Basically: Genetics are wild/highly predictable. Read… 8/07/13 8:30pm 8/07/13 8:30pm

There's a gas station in Madison, WI with a sign that reads "DON'T DIE A VIRGIN TERRORISTS ARE UP THERE WAITING FOR YOU." Read… 3/29/13 4:50pm 3/29/13 4:50pm

A singing sensation who goes by the name Paint sings about the realities of life for Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, and Pocahontas — and it isn't pretty. Belle's verses are classic — PETA would totally be after her creepy animal loving ass. But the charges laid on me! about beastiality! could get me thrown in a cell! Discuss… 3/14/13 10:50am 3/14/13 10:50am

This is a trailer for underwear-faced "superhero" Hentai Kamen, or "pervert mask", who is a parody of certain Japanese films. Along with the release of the trailer, comes a book of ladies posing with underwear on their faces. This is some final frontier shit. What's next? Fishnets rolled in a ball, covered in chocolate,… Read… 2/15/13 9:30am 2/15/13 9:30am

Synesthesia — in which the senses get all criss-crossed up and numbers have colors or tastes have shapes — is always incredibly fascinating, but a new study has some really surprising results: Some people who experience color-grapheme synesthesia — where letters and numbers also have colors — kind of like those… Read… 1/31/13 3:35pm 1/31/13 3:35pm

Scientists in Japan have developed technology that allows doctors to print a 3D model of a woman's developing fetus, presumably so the woman can make it into a giant Flava Flav style pregnancy bling necklace and freak everyone out. Read… 11/27/12 11:15pm 11/27/12 11:15pm

I'm told of a species of sea slug — Siphopteron quadrispinsom, if you really want to get fancy about it — that has both male and female organs, and so can have all kinds of kinky, painful sex, including the kind of foursome that involves only two creatures. The thing about these sea slugs, though, is that the… Read… 8/24/12 9:30am 8/24/12 9:30am

An international child porn crackdown that's led to 40 arrests in six countries has uncovered a particularly gruesome stateside correspondence out of Florida, our nation's unofficial Sensational Headline Generator™. A 57-year-old man named Ronald William Brown, who has worked as a Christian-interest puppeteer and… Read… 7/28/12 3:00pm 7/28/12 3:00pm

The goings-on of human beings have been deeply saddening this week, so let's just go underwater for a hot second. Is that cool with everyone? OK, great. Read… 7/21/12 6:00pm 7/21/12 6:00pm

Because the news is basically just a Family Guy cut-away waiting to happen, certain Michigan waterfront bars—where men make up 80% of drivers in fatal alcohol-induced crashes— are employing a new tactic in DUI prevention for July 4th. Maryland-based manufacturing company Wismark's "interactive urinal communicator" has… Read… 7/04/12 4:30pm 7/04/12 4:30pm

Aniello Arena, star of the film Reality, which is premiering at Cannes, filmed his role on some sort of special leave from the Italian prison where he's serving a life sentence for murder (actually double murder, which is twice as bad as regular murder!!!). Read… 5/18/12 7:20pm 5/18/12 7:20pm

Male seahorses are blessed with the miracle of childbirth. You may be surprised to hear that humans don't work the same way, but I am here to impart you with my wisdom. It's a bittersweet moment, though, because this particular male seahorse's lush fertility belies his lifelong dream of being a comedian. :( Read… 4/21/12 4:00pm 4/21/12 4:00pm

Hey, you know what's cool? Mitt Romney. No, seriously! Willard, our nation's candidate for the 2012 Republican Party presidential nomination, is so cool that the creative folks on Etsy are creating Romney-centric crafts. Get yer credit cards ready! Read… 4/19/12 6:30pm 4/19/12 6:30pm

Tangerine Tango is The Color Of The Year, which is cool and all, but what is up with the model in this Sephora ad? Aside from being almost bald, which is an obvious style choice, and which we can assume is the Hairdo Of The Year, there is something off about this lady. And we suspect Photoshop is to blame. Read… 3/27/12 2:20pm 3/27/12 2:20pm

Fab, the daily web retail site "on a mission to be the world's most valuable design resource," is selling Madonna's new album for 47% off. Because like a mid-century modern couch or an energy-saving light bulb, she is super designy and cool, guys! Discuss… 3/26/12 2:35pm 3/26/12 2:35pm

For a good portion of 2011, Northern Virginia was paralyzed in fear of a man who had made a habit of sneaking up behind unsuspecting shoppers in area malls and slashing their posteriors with box cutters and razors. His shenanigans continued unabated for months, until authorities identified the man as Johnny Guillen… Read… 12/29/11 2:20pm 12/29/11 2:20pm

Having difficulty searching for perfect gift? Do you have a time machine? Well, why not take it back to 19-something-awful and purchase this glorious bit of crapsidermy, ideal for the serial killer or terminal hipster bastard in your life. Read… 12/02/11 5:45pm 12/02/11 5:45pm

A new study by the Journal of the American Dental Association suggests that redheads fear getting their teeth checked out by a professional more than the Average Jane. If you're a redhead and happen to have the specific gene MC1R inside of you, this could explain your heightened anxiety when it's time for your… Read… 11/22/11 7:20pm 11/22/11 7:20pm

Hypochondriacs, anxiety-disordered peeps and the truly paranoid, be advised: If you've got a sinking feeling, specifically the sense that something terrible is about to happen, you could have one of eight illnesses or conditions. You knew it, right? Victory! (Of a sort.) Read… 10/28/11 5:20pm 10/28/11 5:20pm

A new survey finds that mutual respect is what women want most in a relationship. That's not a shock — but the source, HowToGetTheManOfYourDreams.com, is a bit more surprising. Read… 10/21/11 5:30pm 10/21/11 5:30pm

Sixty-nine year old Milton Ellis of St. Petersburg, Florida was awakened by 22-year-old Josephine Rebecca Smith biting the crap out of his face and neck on Friday. Alarmed, the man fled to a nearby gas station where he reported the incident. Police returned to the scene of the crime, the porch outside of an abandoned… Read… 9/11/11 4:42pm 9/11/11 4:42pm

A woman in Oregon is fighting for sole custody of her sons after finding out that her ex husband had reunited with his first wife, who had shot and killed the couple's two daughters in their sleep in 1991. Read… 7/31/11 5:05pm 7/31/11 5:05pm

Looking for some new and different ways to describe ice cream? Look no further than this helpful Yelper's review of a New York gelato spot: Read… 6/24/11 4:20pm 6/24/11 4:20pm