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Wherein Picking a Wedding Caterer Becomes an Expensive Identity Crisis

Last week I officially passed the “one year left” mark on my wedding planning calendar. Between celebrating and freaking out, I realized I had to get to work on the Next Big Thing on my planning to-do list: Finding a caterer. My mother was insistent. My dad, resolute: “There has to be food!” » 7/23/15 10:55am 7/23/15 10:55am

I'm Learning What 'For Worse' Means Before We Even Get Married

When Joe and I adopted Cheddar, a scared, three-year-old blonde terrier mutt who looked like a small, fat, elderly lion, I was excited to have our first shared responsibility. It was a first step toward a long life of joining forces and making real, living things happier and healthier and stronger than they would… » 7/17/15 10:10am 7/17/15 10:10am

Five Godawful Wedding DIY Ideas From Pinterest

On a scale of one to ten—one being Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, who is literal royalty and has never touched a scissor, and ten being Martha Stewart’s youngest, thirstiest Craft Assistant, who probably got engaged at a goose farm last June and has an Exacto knife in place of one of her Jamberry nail wraps—I’d say… » 7/08/15 2:00pm 7/08/15 2:00pm

I've Got My Mind on My Money and My Wedding on My Mind

A good reason to not marry me is that I am not exactly a financial genius. While I’ve always been good at making my own money rather than asking for it (except for when I asked the federal government for $50,000 to go to college with and they were like, “Yes, def,”), paying bills the moment my paycheck dumps into my… » 7/01/15 1:00pm 7/01/15 1:00pm

Please Don’t Tell Your Engaged Friend She’ll 'Make a Beautiful Bride'

When a woman’s Facebook relationship status switches to “engaged,” the comments that ensue are pretty predictable. There are OMGs, congratulations, the ring emoji, the couple-holding-hands emoji, the smiley-face-with-hearts-in-place-of-eyes emoji... You get the picture. » 6/26/15 1:10pm 6/26/15 1:10pm

Five Wedding Dresses I Want But Cannot Have

Before I met my fiancé, I believed that true love existed in clothes and not much else. A silk blouse that flowed softly like a nice dinner date, a floral sundress that swung at the hips like the prom dance I never had, a pair of tight little shorts that hugged my butt hot as sex—I hunted these things, but not love. » 6/12/15 6:30pm 6/12/15 6:30pm

The Knot's Interrogation of 'Real Brides' Is More Intense Than the SAT

Sure, you’re no fan of the wedding industrial complex and the nauseating pressure it creates, but oftentimes those weddings in magazines are so pretty. And wouldn’t it be flattering if The Knot thought your wedding was pretty, too, and wanted to feature it in their print magazine? Eh? Ehhhh? » 6/02/15 12:00pm 6/02/15 12:00pm

5 Insane Things From Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine, Spring 2015

If the wedding planning galaxy is a weirdo cosmic circus into which no woman is adequately prepared to be flung until it’s far too late, Martha Stewart Weddings magazine is that galaxy’s big fat Jupiter: Dazzling and marbled with soft, undulating peachy-pink colors on the outside; turbulent, full of hot air, and… » 5/21/15 1:45pm 5/21/15 1:45pm

Am I Self-Indulgent Enough to Consider Hiring a Wedding Planner?

The other day I saw a child pharaoh on the subway. When she entered the packed car at rush hour, a seat was magically cleared for her, and moments after her tiny body was placed into it by an attendant, a lollipop was unwrapped and stuck into her grasp. A heavily armed iPad with a video of animated penguins dancing… » 5/13/15 5:45pm 5/13/15 5:45pm

Wedding Traditions to Keep, Wedding Traditions to Trash

Moments after you get engaged, you’re whisked away to a foreign, barren planet, left to survive and build a wedding with nothing but your bare hands, the Internet, and occasional drop-in visits from your fiancé, who bloop-bloops in on a little flying saucer and is like, “I suggest we have cakkkkeeeeee!!!” and then… » 5/08/15 6:10pm 5/08/15 6:10pm

I Will Not Be a Pinterest-Perfect Bride. I Will Not 'Trash' My Dress.

A Google search composed of the words “what kind bride you” yields around 52 million results. This comforts me because I’ve been engaged for around 4 months now and I still don’t know “what kind bride am.” Clearly, I am not alone. I have 14 months before my wedding and people say the time flies, so I need to know. » 5/03/15 4:30pm 5/03/15 4:30pm

​Labor of (Someone Else's) Love: My Summer Planning Weddings in Italy

When I was 20, my college's funded internship program wrote me a check for $3,000. Instead of hunkering down in an LA production office to slog through slush piles—as a film major actually invested in her future would probably do—I pursued an internship that cashed in on my incomplete Italian minor and weird penchant… » 2/06/15 1:30pm 2/06/15 1:30pm