Watch A Poor Canadian Man Get Stuck in A Massive Snow Drift
In a video that history will forever remember as "Jumpin' Jesus," a man from Newfoundland found out the hard way just how unforgiving Mother Nature can be.
'Dressing Optimistically' Trend Proves Winter Has Driven Us All Insane
After months and months of uncomfortably cold temperatures, historical amounts of frozen precipitation, and dreary grey skies, a new fashion trend has finally emerged: dressing for spring even though it's really fucking cold outside. Which is also a sign that winter has finally caused us to completely lose our shit.
Cats Can Predict the Weather, Says Really Old Book
Are you tired of lousy weather reports delivered by cheesy so-called weathermen who promise sunny skies only to leave you stranded at the beach in a torrential downpour? Looking for a more reliable source for accurate weather predictions? Well, look no further than your favorite house cat. (I'll wait. He's probably…
What Does the Apocalypse Look Like? Show Us Your Weather
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If you're in the Southeast or the Northeast, things are a little crazy outside.
Fifth Grader Explains His Superstitious Ritual for Invoking a Snow Day
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"First," says Lucas Heiberger, "you put three ice cubes in each toilet of your house." The New York City fifth grader was interviewed this morning for NBC News' storm coverage, during which he revealed his "formula" that he believes helps get school cancelled for a snow day.
Worst Winter Ever Leads to East Coast Snow Boot Shortage
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As you probably know, this winter fucking sucks. Snowmageddon. Snowpocalypse. Snow Momma hosted by Wilmer Valderrama. For most of America, the past few months has been a bleak constant stream of blizzards, cold weather, sunless days and seasonal affective disorder. But wait! It's not over yet! Winter is hanging around…
Entire Nation Is Sick and Tired of This Bullshit Winter Weather
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According to freeloading rodents Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck, America has six weeks of winter left. And honestly? I'm not sure we're going to make it. It's been so cold for so long that The Shining is starting to look like a documentary. Will this stupid frigid weather ever end?
How to Stay Warm When Nature Clearly Wants You To Freeze To Death
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Judging by Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, every news headline, and the feeling of morbid, animal fear I felt when I put my face close to the window, it's ball-shriveling, ovary-freezing, nose-blackeningly cold outside today. So how the fuck are you supposed to dress? Elaborately.
Polar Vortex and Congress Join Forces to Screw Poor People
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Good news, poors! Just in time for one of the worst winters ever, Congress decided to make your life even shittier!
This Is What -40°F Feels Like
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Thanks to Canada failing to sufficiently warm up a big blanket of freezing air descending southward from the Arctic, for much of the lower 48 states, the next couple of days are going to be colder than Jack Frost's butt plug. Some of the forecasted wind chills are so cold they're almost unfathomable — unless you grew…
A Good Thing About Being Fat Is You're Less Vulnerable to Hypothermia
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Debating whether to shove that danish in your mouth before braving the blizzard later this afternoon? Go for it. Because according to Popular Science (in a post illustrated by a picture of Santa), body fat tends to make you less vulnerable to hypothermia.
WeatherBragging: A Rant
Ah, the weather. The topic of satisfyingly lukewarm conversations everywhere. While I do dislike excessive weather complaining (well, just any excessive complaining), it is always on everyone's minds and never offends anyone. What I hate, however, is smug WeatherBragging in response to any weather-related comment.…
Major Ice Storm Hits Texas
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[DALLAS, TX - DECEMBER 06: Icicles form on a barricade in front of the Dallas skyline on December 6, 2013 in Dallas, Texas. The ice storm that has hit North Texas has left over 250,000 residents and businesses without power and has led to more than 1,700 flight delays and cancellations across the country. (Photo by…
You Need This Weather App Starring Adorable Kittens
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ALERT AL ROKER ALERT: the cutest fucking kittens you've ever seen are coming for your job.
Estimated 1200 Presumed Dead as Typhoon Rips Through The Philippines
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One of the biggest storms in history slammed the Philippines, with wind speeds as fast as 190 mph, by some estimates. Officials with the Philippine Red Cross estimate as many as 1200 people are dead in the wake of Super Typhoon Haiyan, with thousands more left homeless.
Weatherman Says Station Didn't Interview Him Because He's Old and Male
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A veteran, weather-beaten meteorologist in Los Angeles recently filed a discrimination lawsuit against KABC-TV, alleging he wasn’t even considered for the position of green-screen gesticulator because the station had already made up its mind to hire an attractive young woman with very little experience. Armed with the…
Run Away to The Chillest Summer Cities in the Country
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It's so hot on the East Coast right now that, last night, I had a dream I robbed a bank with the cast of Pretty Little Liars and was incarcerated in an oven as punishment. Amazingly, not everyone is sweltering right now/having sweat-induced dreams! We're doing this to ourselves!
Fuck This Week
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Man, fuck this week. Is it Sunday yet? No? Fuck that.
What the Fuck Is Going On Outside?
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I'm working from home today, which means I haven't actually stepped outside yet, so tell me: what the fuck is going on outside? It does not look good. Also, I think the wind is trying to tell me something. Can anyone translate "o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o"? Maybe it's "you're the biggest West Coast-raised wimp ever, suck…
"Sandy Schmandy, We Might Have A Drought Soon," Say Worried…
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If we weren't before, we should probably all be worrying about the ozone layer right about now: the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reports that this past October was the fifth warmest ever, tied with the one in 2008. One repercussion of this unseasonably warm trend, says an analyst at Weather…