This Year's Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gifts Include a $65,000 Floral Peacock

We're only twenty-two days away from Halloween, so why haven't you started your holiday shopping yet, you lazy ass? No fear, if you happen to have legally inherited a large sum of cash recently, you might want to check out the Neiman Marcus holiday catalog for some excellent gift ideas. I kid, but I truly love this… » 10/09/14 4:30pm 10/09/14 4:30pm

Rich People Flee from the Poors to Raise Their Families

Apparently rich people only like living in economically diverse areas just for kicks — that is, until they start having kids. A recent analysis of census data indicates that the wealthy are twice as likely to relocate to more affluent neighborhoods than they were in the 70s, largely owing to their budding silver… » 10/18/13 7:15pm 10/18/13 7:15pm

You Don't Have to be a Rich Asshole to Raise a Successful Kid

If you are a rich person living in a Big City and the only definition of success you can picture looks like private school —> Ivy League —> hedge fund manager, then please, go read this story about ethical parenting over at New York mag, which should really be called "Things Rich People With Kids Will Relate To," and… » 10/08/13 11:59am 10/08/13 11:59am

Being Stupid Is Not A Choice, So Stop Hating Me For It

Today, Thought Catalog, a blog that serves as a future embarrassment machine for self-absorbed 23-year-olds who don't know any better, ran a post called "Being Privileged Is Not A Choice, So Stop Hating Me For It" (it's just as bad — NAY, WORSE — than it sounds). What follows is the only logically possible response. » 9/23/13 6:10pm 9/23/13 6:10pm

In-Flight Wealth Disparity Is Hastening America’s Cultural Revolution

These bourgeois pigs in business class must be purged from our skies. Why let them board an airplane early, free from the desperate urge to jostle for a space in the overhead bin for their sensible leather carry-on just so they can sip mimosas and sneer at the poor, corn syrup-coated plebes seated in zones 2 through 6… » 8/17/13 5:00pm 8/17/13 5:00pm

It Takes $5 Million to Actually Feel Like a Rich Person

A new "investor sentiment report" found that rich people don't actually feel like they're rich until they've amassed at least $5 million—in fact, they specifically feel "poor." Their words, not mine. Which is weird, because I sometimes feel like I'm rich when I take a cab, or if I'm home alone with leftover pie, and… » 7/23/13 7:45pm 7/23/13 7:45pm

Fancy Rich Folk Prefer to Avoid IRL Contact With the Peasant Class

If you feel like your wealthy friend is avoiding you, you might be right. New Shullman Research data shows that rich people (in this case, people who make more than $250,000/year) are less likely to want to interact with their friends and acquaintances face-to-face than us poors are and much prefer online forms of… » 5/08/13 12:35pm 5/08/13 12:35pm

You Can Never Be Too Rich, Say Economists

Well, everybody, it appears that capitalism is the answer to all problems! Okay, well, not really, but a new economic analysis authored by Betsey Stevenson and Just Wolfers has found one basic, straightforward conclusion: More money makes you happier, and you can never have too much of it. The old belief, that you can… » 4/29/13 6:40pm 4/29/13 6:40pm

Depressed Teens Invariably Grow Up To Make Less Money Than Happy Ones

Call it the revenge of Quinn Morgendorffer: no matter what you end up buying the angsty malcontent in your life for the holidays, a new study has proven that their bad attitude is bound to continue in a vicious cycle. Data collected from 10,000 American teenagers by University College London and the University of… » 11/24/12 4:20pm 11/24/12 4:20pm

Gina Rinehart, the World’s Richest Woman, Is Really Sick of How…

You know how when you wear your ostrich-egg diamond necklace for your Saturday promenade down Main Street and all the drunk poors stir awake on their cardboard mats and sort of give you this really judgy scowl? Ugh, it is literally the worst, and if you're regularly besieged with the covetous stares of your less… » 8/30/12 11:55pm 8/30/12 11:55pm

Zillionaire Ann Romney Doesn't Consider Herself Rich

Ann Romney, she of the couple'a Cadillacs, the wife of an ex-governor finance millionaire who last year complained about being unemployed while bringing in over $20 million in income on interest, appeared on Fox News today to say some Oblivious, Tone Deaf Rich Lady things to the American people. Namely, that she… » 3/05/12 7:45pm 3/05/12 7:45pm

Sorry, Poor People: Going to College Might Ruin Your Chance to Get…

According to personal finance experts and many colorful charts, attending college can significantly increase one's lifetime earning potential. Unfortunately, if you're poor and get yourself a fancy degree, you'll be too highfalutin for your poor peers and smell too much of the servant caste to be accepted by your… » 1/31/12 12:00pm 1/31/12 12:00pm

What Poor People Need Is More Marriage, Religion & Bitchy Disdain

Despite the millions of magnetic car stickers that demanded Americans Stand United, the opposite's happening. The wealthy highbrow elite are moving culturally further and further from their Cheeto dust huffing, sexy mudflap buying dirt-folk, and the cultural class divide's only going to widen. That is, unless we… » 1/23/12 1:10pm 1/23/12 1:10pm

Finishing School: So You Don't Look Like A Jerk Around Rich People

Finishing school, once the realm of the tiny daughters of steel magnates training for a future in rich housewifery, is now a different animal. While finishing-school grads can still walk like non-water buffalos and clap after the opera in a way that doesn't cause mass monocle-poppings, the reason for mastering the… » 10/21/11 1:40pm 10/21/11 1:40pm