Vatican Sorta Confirms the Pope Really Did Meet with Kim Davis in Washington 

Last night, Kim Davis’s lawyer and an obscure Catholic magazine claimed that Kim Davis met with the Pope in Washington D.C last week. This morning, Davis told ABC she did totally meet with the Pope. It all sounded like bullshit, but indeed, the Vatican has briefly confirmed the meeting took place and that they don’t… »9/30/15 10:50am9/30/15 10:50am

Frustrated Couple Fills Box Full of Poop for Present-Pilfering Thief

As Christmas rushes ever closer, more and more people are getting anxious about their holiday packages. Is it the mail that's slow this year or are presents being stolen, wonders everyone who hasn't received their package from Amazon Prime. And one couple, whose mail woes really was caused by thieves decided to take… »12/11/14 4:30pm12/11/14 4:30pm

Banging in Public Bathrooms is D.C.'s Hottest Trend. Is Your City Next?

If breaking a public bathroom sink with only the force of your thrusts of ecstasy is a dream you have not realized, you may want to pack your hazmat suit (because public bathrooms, am I right?) and head to Washington D.C., land of beautiful monuments, center of American politics, and home to the newest sex trend:… »4/19/14 6:07pm4/19/14 6:07pm

Cops Seek Eight-Year-Old Girl Missing From a D.C. Homeless Shelter

Police in Washington, D.C. are currently searching for an eight-year-old girl who went missing earlier this month from a local homeless shelter, formerly D.C. General Hospital. Authorities believe she might be with a janitor from the homeless shelter, who's also the prime suspect in his wife's recent death. »3/27/14 4:50pm3/27/14 4:50pm

Most Annoying Anti-Abortion Protestor Ever Is Banned From D.C.

Rives Miller Grogan is an adult man who likes to clamber for attention by clutching dolls while screaming at groups of people and climbing trees to avoid confrontation. Surprise: he's an anti-abortion activist! Now, he's officially banned from the District of Columbia after scurrying up a 40-foot tree on Inauguration… »1/24/13 12:10pm1/24/13 12:10pm

We Should Probably Stop Blaming the Crime Rate on Single Mothers

During the second Presidential debate last month, Mitt Romney suggested that one way to reduce Aurora, Colorado-style mass assault weapon shootings would be to encourage everyone to just get married before they have babies. Blaming single parents for violence has long been a dog whistle talking point of the family… »11/27/12 1:10pm11/27/12 1:10pm

Adorable Cheetah Cubs Get Named After America's Fastest Olympians

The pair of three-month-old cheetah cubs that — in all of their fuzzy, squeeful glory — have recently made their public debut at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. have finally been given names thanks to the fastest American sprinters at the 2012 Summer Olympics. The spotted duo will henceforth be known as Carmelita… »8/07/12 10:00am8/07/12 10:00am

Republican Dudes Won't Let DC's Female Delegate Speak Against Abortion Ban in the District

Republicans in Congress are currently considering enacting a law that would ban abortions after 20 weeks in the District of Columbia with no exceptions for rape, incest, or fetal abnormality, under the scientifically non-facty assumption that at that point in gestation, fetuses can feel pain. To add insult to injury,… »5/17/12 5:10pm5/17/12 5:10pm

Lady Football Coach Brings All-Boys Team To City Championship

Natalie Randolph took over the head football coach position at Washington, DC's Coolidge High two years ago, and proceeded to lose the first five games of her first season. But now, she's found her stride and her all-boys team is poised to play in the city championship tomorrow. Quick, someone turn this into a… »11/24/11 5:00pm11/24/11 5:00pm