Goldman Sachs Is Confused, Turned Off By Urban Outfitters' Denim Tutu

A hilarious Goldman Sachs analysis of the outlook for hip youth clothing (and sometimes bedbug :( ) purveyor Urban Outfitters revealed some concerning negative indicators for potential investors in the store's parent company. Namely: denim tutus. Denim tutus! Have you ever heard as a thing as crazy as a denim tutu? » 12/18/13 4:00pm 12/18/13 4:00pm

Finance Dude Asks Clients to Vote For Him in Sad Sexy Banker Contest

Even though the title of sexiest banker was given out long ago (Meredith Whitney, duh), some who work in finance remain unsatisfied, I guess. What other possible explanation would there be for a banking career website to sponsor a "sexiest banker poll" and invite users to vote? And what deep, all-consuming sadness would… » 10/03/13 4:20pm 10/03/13 4:20pm

Female Traders Are To Blame For Every Reckless Financial Crisis

Were you operating under the assumption that Wall Street needs more government regulation to prevent reckless, risky decisions that might make thousands of Americans lose their home, or zero government regulation because the free market takes care of itself, you naive Ayn Rand worshipper? Well, you are all wrong:… » 6/20/13 6:20pm 6/20/13 6:20pm

Wall Street Warlocks Are Using Botox to Help Erase Their Scowls

Remember how youthful and exuberant Gordon Gekko seemed in Wall Street when he was trying to siphon large piles of money from hard-working American hero Carl Fox? All that evil money necromancy can't be good for one's worry lines, which is why it's so surprising that Gekko didn't look like the haggard, woebegone, Wall… » 8/08/12 11:55pm 8/08/12 11:55pm

Wall Street Women Aren't In Executive Positions Because Their Genitals…

The conception of Wall Street as "macho" has seemingly been around for approximately as long as the Financial District has been a district, and a New York Times piece now unsurprisingly asserts that the representation of women in the higher echelons of financial companies remains disproportionately small. While they make … » 7/25/12 2:20pm 7/25/12 2:20pm

Dating Advice You Never Wanted: How to Snag a Wall Street Man

Close your eyes and think of your dream partner. What's he or she like? Do they have a great sense of humor? Are they kind? Maybe cute in a way that's a little awkward and nonthreatening? Do they seem like they'd be a good parent? Haha, JK, guys. Everyone knows that what every woman wants is a Wall Street Banker. It… » 2/08/12 7:45pm 2/08/12 7:45pm