According to a Walmart press release, Thanksgiving was a day of record-breaking sales, sales that were "bigger, better, faster, cheaper and safer than ever." Read on Gawker 11/29/13 11:45am 11/29/13 11:45am

Today in HORK: A 20-year-old woman was in Walmart when she "suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh and leg." Soon a 22-year-old man was arrested for throwing semen at the woman. The man "stated he was a loner and gets a thrill" from the act. HORK. Discuss… 7/12/13 2:50pm 7/12/13 2:50pm

Susan was a cashier, and Wayne was a customer, and they found love in a hopeless place. Read… 6/04/13 9:30pm 6/04/13 9:30pm

Wal-Mart, one of the richest companies in the world, wants its own customers to deliver packages to online buyers in exchange for basically nothing so it can compete with Amazon.com. Read… 3/28/13 11:10am 3/28/13 11:10am

Republicans and Democrats love to argue over who cares more about small business, but, as it turns out, both parties are crazy for chains. Does this mean that the groups can unite to finally put all those neighborhood mom'n'pop joints out of business? Sort of, but they'll each have to do it in their own way, with… Read… 2/08/13 10:40am 2/08/13 10:40am

We all know you're not supposed to shoplift, and even so, it's probably something most people have done at some point in our lives. Whether it's slyly slipping an Urban Outfitter's bespeckled owl necklace into your purse or stealing formula to feed your baby, I'm not here to argue the moral ambiguities of the… Read… 12/10/12 10:25am 12/10/12 10:25am

In this nation's continuing failure to heed the lessons of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas, American retailers are planning on starting their Black Friday sales so early that their already put-upon employees will be forced to leave their family Thanksgiving celebrations so that they can tend to the snorting, … Read… 11/19/12 2:30pm 11/19/12 2:30pm

Remember when Jewel was just this folksy Alaskan yodeler whose hands were small (she knew), but they were not yours — they were her own? When she was the girl who wrote terrible, punny titled books of poetry and talked about living out of a van? Well, that Jewel is gone. Meet New Jewel. She sings about Walmart. Discuss… 9/14/12 12:10pm 9/14/12 12:10pm

A couple in Kansas has been arrested after swiping some KY Jelly and then getting gropey and lewd with each other in front of the customers. "What are those to people doing, mommy?" They're, uh, wrestling with their butts, sweetie. Read… 8/02/12 7:15pm 8/02/12 7:15pm

"Come on, guys, it's better to be skinny than to be fat!" So said 30-year-old model Natalia Vodianova as part of a panel discussion at the British Vogue Festival over the weekend. (This was after she was asked, "It's undeniable that models are very thin, expected to be very thin, and thinner than 99.9 percent of the… Read… 4/23/12 1:20pm 4/23/12 1:20pm

Oh, we all thought we were so clever, buying cheap but cute necklaces and colorful bracelets at places like Forever 21, Target, and Claire's. Sure they might make our outfits look better for a very low price, but it turns out these pieces of crappy jewelry might also be poisoning us. Grr. Looks like it's time to admit… Read… 3/20/12 7:00pm 3/20/12 7:00pm

A 7-year-old girl is safe and sound after a man attempted to kidnap her earlier this week in the toy aisle of a Walmart in Georgia. Brittney Baxter was looking at toys when a man started talking to her and then grabbed her, covering her mouth. She kicked him and screamed until he let her go, which you can see on this… Read… 2/10/12 11:45am 2/10/12 11:45am

A North Carolina man has been arrested for trying to pay for $476 worth of Walmart merchandise with a $1 million bill. Police were called after Michael Fuller insisted that his money was real, despite the fact that the largest bill in circulation is $100 and the government hasn't made even a $10,000 bill since 1969. He … Discuss… 1/03/12 10:00am 1/03/12 10:00am

A woman's attempt to turn her local Wal-Mart into a makeshift meth lab ran afoul of the law after spending six hours unsuccessfully trying to concoct crystal meth in the store. This is the best store related illicit multitasking since Horne's Department Store recruited perfume counter employees for prostitution work… Read… 12/09/11 5:50pm 12/09/11 5:50pm

Frank The Fruitcake is Wal Mart's attempt at creating a "viral meme" they had surely hoped would be a hit with the kids. They really tried to make Frank internet-friendly: he's a crude, sweet-talkin' piece of bread who wants to get you under the mistletoe and who believes he's well liked by mankind. For Wal Mart, it's … Read… 12/05/11 5:10pm 12/05/11 5:10pm

Back in June, the US Supreme Court ruled that the female employees who faced sexual discrimination from Wal Mart couldn't legally sue the company as a class. Now, the plaintiffs are regrouping and have mounted a new lawsuit against the big box behemoth. Read… 10/27/11 6:00pm 10/27/11 6:00pm

First it was the soccer moms in their minivans, then it was all those hockey moms (known for their ability to distinguish themselves from pitbulls by wearing lipstick), and, of course, we must not forget about NASCAR Dads. Now it seems the next big thing in political polling is Walmart moms. Ugh, seriously? Yes, if… Read… 10/07/11 10:10am 10/07/11 10:10am

Though many of us aren't willing to bend down to pick up two pennies, Mary Bach of Pennsylvania sued Walmart for charging her two cents more than the price on the tag for a package of Banquet "Brown 'N Serve" sausages. Bach was awarded $180, but her aim wasn't to recoup savings she could have lost between the sofa… Discuss… 10/04/11 12:00pm 10/04/11 12:00pm

Travis Keen was arrested on an obscenity charge earlier this week. A witness called the cops, reporting that a man was driving a Ford Taurus around the Walmart parking lot "with his penis exposed." When an officer stopped Keen, he admitted that he did, in fact, have his dick out of his pants. Read… 8/11/11 12:35pm 8/11/11 12:35pm