Virgins - Jezebel

posts about #virgins more →
The Blessed Virgin
Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Virgin With Down Syndrome Visits Las Vegas To Get Laid
The Purity Myth's Jessica Valenti Talks Virginity, Weddings & Miss California
Real World: Can A Virgin Teach Other People About The Particulars Of Safe Sex?
Study Says: Artists Are Easy, Scientists Are Virgins

Virgin Promotes Abstinence On Paris Hilton's Show
The 105-Year-Old Virgin
What Is A Slut? The Ladies Of The View Weigh In

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morninggloria
07/13/09

In reply to The Blessed Virgin
Those who take vows of chastity might be onto something. I'd be a lot wiser and more focused if I wasn't always making dick jokes or thinking about sex.
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brinkswomanship
07/13/09

In reply to The Blessed Virgin
But does she use tampons?!? Will that displease the goddess? "I predict that Tampax will go out of business in 3... 2... "
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acrobatic rabbit
07/13/09

In reply to The Blessed Virgin
I for one, welcome our mustard-covered virgin overlords.
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LAmonkeygirl
07/13/09

@acrobatic rabbit ... non-starred commenter: Whilst I await our ketchup-besmeared slut deities.
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acrobatic rabbit
07/13/09

@LAmonkeygirl: and we mustn't forget about our mayonnaise-slathered wise spinsters.
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J.D.Regent
07/13/09

In reply to The Blessed Virgin
I want to know what the questions and answers are!
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Abra
07/13/09

@J.D.Regent: "What is your name?"
"What is your quest?"
"What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
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wtfox?!
07/13/09

@Abra: African or European swallow?
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Dodgergirl
07/13/09

@Abra: What do you mean? African or European swallow?
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acrobatic rabbit
07/13/09

@J.D.Regent: Q: "will I bear a child this year?"

A: "only if you have sex many many times during the harvest moon after sacrificing your father's prized chicken and slathering yourself in condiments"
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Abra
07/13/09

@wtfox?!: I...I don't know.
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debbyherbenick
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Wow. I hate to break it to you, but as a sex columnist for various publications (see MySexProfessor.com for full list), I get the "could I/she get too loose?" question all too often. Women wonder if it's possible for their vagina to get too loose if they have too many partners or if they have a big partner they wonder if they will get too loose for future, more average partners. I also get a lot of questions from men who wonder if their partner's "loose" or "big" vagina is a sign that their girlfriend has cheated...

When we get better sex education in this country, perhaps the questions will become more nuanced. Until then, vaginal and penile size questions are, er, huge.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Cheesus! Cosmo just keeps this shit a-flowing, don't it? I mean it's the same tripe, month after month. After month. And so on.

You're fat! Lose weight or you'll never get a man which means you'll never feel good about yourself!

Your vagina smells bad because you're dirty! Real Cosmo ladies vaginas smell like Appletinis and new shoes! Go to the doctor, or something!

Sex is something you do to make your man feel good! And if you have an orgasm it'll bolster his self-esteem, so try to have at least one per episode or you are a bad lover!

And above all..

CHERISH THE TAINT. CHERISH IT, YOU HOOR. WITH YOUR BIG FAT ASS AND WEIRD UGLY BOOBS AND SMELLY VAGINA, YOU SHOULD DO WHATEVER YOU POSSIBLY CAN TO KEEP YOUR MAN SATISFIED AND THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS YOU CAUGHT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. DO THIS WELL ENOUGH AND MAYBE HE'LL PUT A RING ON IT. MAYBE.
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lalaland13
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Virgins in Cosmo? You mean girls who haven't used tampons, right?
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Well, it was very nice of Cosmo to take a break from the slut shaming and do some good old fashioned virgin shaming. We can't have them start feeling good and confident about themselves!

Oh, and headdesk to the 100th power.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
You know. I don't know that I've bought a magazine since I started reading Jezebel a year and a half ago.
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morninggloria
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Well, I suppose my anus is a virgin. Does that count, Cosmo? Can I be inside you?
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tscheese
06/15/09

@morninggloria: That depends. Is it bleached?
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morninggloria
06/15/09

@tscheese: You know, it has been so long since I've taken a mirror to my anus. I don't even know anymore!
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tscheese
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Lauren Conrad may or may not have had work done; I'm not going to judge. But I have definitely seen pictures of her in which her bosoms did not resemble perfectly Copied, New Layer'd, Transform < Flip Horizontal'd spheroids.
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karmasutra
06/15/09

@tscheese:

My vote is for Le Photoshop D'Horreur.

Does Cosmo really think that women have no idea of what looks fake on other girls? DOOD. BOOBIEZ RIGHT ON ME.

And if they're aiming for men, do they not realize that NO MAN would be caught dead with a Cosmo?
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sequined
06/15/09

@karmasutra: Especially the neon pink issue featuring Lauren Conrad.
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save jinger
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Wow, they must be out of sex tips. Resorting to articles about cannibalism?! ("4 Signs He's Craving You")
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casi nadie (loves MCC forever)
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
I find it weird that cosmo is portraying it as strange that there are virgins in cosmo, because if any magazine seems to me to reinforce stereotypes about purity, it's this one. They're not sex positive, they're "find a man and then you can sleep with him if you believe he might marry you" positive.

Also, I know that the only time I found cosmo an interesting read was when I was a sexually frustrated virgin.

Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps they're just owning up to reality.
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LongGoneCourtney
06/15/09

@o português é muito sexy de Curly Crown: Judging from the sex tips they offer up, I would say the majority of Cosmo readers are virgins. Scrunchie cock ring? Oy.
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FourInchHeels
06/16/09

@LongGoneCourtney: Believe it or not, I have a stick-up-her-ass-virgin-until-she-met-he... (not that anal is bad, just that she's come a very long way!) friend who swears by the scrunchie. Guarantee she got it from Cosmo, since I'm the only friend who doesn't pray for her sex-filled soul every night, and I laugh about it. But she says it rubs her the right way when the boyfriend can't. Which, knowing him, is every time.
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LaFemme
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
I heard somewhere thatthe more sex and orgasms you have, the tighter you will become. The vag is a muscle, and so sex is like "working out." That the only thing that will dramatically change your vag is childbirth.

I am choosing to believe this and refuse to hear otherwise.
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NefariousNewt
06/15/09

@LaFemme: True and false. You can certainly maintain vaginal tone, but I don't think you can "pump it up," per se. Mind you, I could be wrong... I'd love to get a grant so I could prove I was right.
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casi nadie (loves MCC forever)
06/15/09

@NefariousNewt: Actually, regular practice of Kegels can give a woman more control over the vaginal muscles - ie, she could potential get tighter or do cool squeezing things at whim.
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NefariousNewt
06/15/09

@o português é muito sexy de Curly Crown: And you learn something new every day.
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LaFemme
06/15/09

@o português é muito sexy de Curly Crown: Oh yeah, definitely. That is kind of along the same lines, you can tighten a bit. Though personally doing about 3 kegels makes me want to pee, so I don't get how women do this all the time.
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inabook
06/15/09

@LaFemme: Oh god, please no. The boyfriend already hurts me as it is, and I was hoping that if I just keep jumping him, my vag will eventually get used to the girth.
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rocknrollunicorn
06/15/09

@LaFemme: Then there's the obvious -- if a person had a string of one-night stands, there's still a good chance she's getting poked less than her friend who's in a long term relationship.

Unless all the stereotypes about LTR are true.
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sequined
06/15/09

@inabook: I think you can get used to it, which is different from getting bigger. You can learn how to make it work better for you without your actual size changing, if that makes sense.
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Uncommon Whore
06/15/09

@rocknrollunicorn: That's how mine is. Not a lot of poking.
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SylvanSylph
06/15/09

@rocknrollunicorn: A very very very good chance.
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thesciencegirl
06/15/09

In reply to Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
I read this issue of Cosmo over the weekend because I was flying, and needed a mindless magazine to distract me during takeoff. My sister laughingly pointed to the VIRGIN cover story (I'm a 26 yo virgin), and I read that first. It made me lol that they were exclaiming over how amazing it was that 20 year-olds were STILL virgins! Like OMG! They haven't had sex yet! How odd!
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morninggloria
06/15/09

@thesciencegirl: I used to read Cosmo in airports, but I realized that sometimes I am sitting next to little kids and I wouldn't want them looking over my shoulder and reading about sexysex and all of the sexiest sex.

So now I read The Economist.
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sequined
06/15/09

@morninggloria: I read the Economist on some flights, Cosmo on others. If I know I'll be sitting near my friends, I prefer Cosmo (or whatever part of Midweek Madness looks best), because of the conversational potential. More giggles come from reading Cosmo than the Economist, believe it or not.
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