Your Baby Is a Vampire and So Is Mine

While human people are sleeping, my baby awakes. She whines and wriggles over to my listless body. Leading with her pale, swollen cheeks and newly cut teeth, she pounces on my chest. My flesh of my flesh uses her sharp talons to pull the wound on my breast into her mouth. Then, she sucks my blood.
The Feminist Vampire Movie That Teaches 'Bad Men' a Gory Lesson
The scare-queen at the heart of A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, a new "vampire Western" film set in Iran, is the exact opposite of your typical Hollywood horror villain. She's not named Freddy or Jason; she doesn't wield an axe, wear a mask, or gleefully interrupt tanned teen couples in mid-thrust. She's also not a…
The Penny Dreadful Trailer Looks Too Good to Be True
Penny Dreadful, the latest premium cable show to exploit the talents of under-worked actors and period-piece costumers, will arrive with buckets of blood, sex, and creepy backwards hand-walking on May 11. In the meantime, this trailer will stoke your anticipation for a show about Victorian monsters that stars Josh…
Answers to '10 Questions Men Are Too Scared to Ask Women'
Question: Why do women get madder and madder as they ponder something irritating and stupid even when there's no point? Because shoes. No really, so, according to Redbook, men are terrified to talk to women, but it's not their fault: Ladies be confusin'. What with the talking and the mysterious food purchases, it's a…
Will Mermaid Replace Vampire as #1 Ambiguously-Sexual Mystical Beast?
Ugh, vampires have been lurking and staring and silently inhaling ravioli fumes on dates with high school-aged human women for, like, years now. We are all tired of it. It's about time for a sea change in the Sexy Mystical Young Adult Fiction Love Interest landscape. In this instance, "sea change" literally means…
Please, Baby Jesus, Make This Lindsay Lohan/Justin Bieber Bloodfeud Last Forever
Listen, I'm a simple woman. I don't ask for much. All I want on this earth is for this Lindsay Lohan vs. Justin Bieber internet feud to poop weird insults back and forth forever. For-literally-ever. Is that out of line? Here's the latest: Lohan has responded to Bieber's slight (in case you missed it, he basically…
Attention Buffy Wannabes: There Might Be a Vampire Hanging Out in Serbia
So I know you had plans to go see the Dingoes at the Bronze later and I don't want to ruin your night — especially because I heard that guy Angel is gonna be there and you know he likes you — but I talked to Giles and it looks like there's a chance that we might have to send you Serbia to take care of this vampire…
Twilight Screenwriter Reflects on the Series' Power in Hollywood
No matter how you feel about Twilight — love it or hate it — the phenomenon has been one of the biggest stories to come out of the movie industry in the last five years. Now that the series is ending, Melissa Rosenberg, who penned all of the scripts for the Twilight franchise, talked to Women And Hollywood about the…
If You Watch True Blood You Want Splinters in Your Vadge
True Blood is a show where guys have wood. That's basically the message in this Australian billboard created by DraftFCB. Get it? It's a peen. And that guy likes to
fiddle
whittle.
The New Season of True Blood Looks Sexplosive
People make out, people don't have shirts on, shit explodes. Don't make plans for June.
France Lets Parents Give Baby Vampire Name
The French are notoriously uptight about what one can and cannot name their baby, but they've decided to let one newborn keep his name, even though his parents heard it on an American show aimed at teenagers. In November Lionel and Blandine Defontaine dubbed their boy "Daemon" after the character Damon on The Vampire…
Here's Your Minute-By-Minute Play-By-Play Of Twilight: Breaking Dawn
Last night, I joined the Twihards at a midnight screening of Twilight: Breaking Dawn. Since I first covered the franchise in 2008, I've gone to midnight screenings of each one, and I have to say, as events, they are getting more and more subdued. Maybe the fans are growing up. Perhaps vampires and werewolves have lost…
