When Vanessa Hudgens etched a heart into a wall of red rock in Sedona Arizona, she was enjoying a Valentine’s Day sojourn with boyfriend Austin Butler. But the United States Forest Service was unmoved by the romantic gesture and fined her $1,000.

On Valentine’s Day, Ellie Parker and her girlfriend Lucy celebrated with dinner at Asahi Japanese Steakhouse in Lafayette, Indiana. Unfortunately, the festivities were dampened by some garden variety homophobia, courtesy of one of the restaurant’s hibachi chefs.

On Sunday, happy couples around the world celebrated their love by exchanging chocolate and/or heart-shaped gifts, eating a nicer-than-average meal, and having longer-than-average sex. Famous people, being just like us and all, did this too—only for an audience of millions. Some did this well, and others did it poorly.

Billed as a Celebration of Love, Sunday night’s special Valentine’s Day episode of The Bachelor was, as you may have guessed, many things—an excellent promotional opportunity for the show, a preview for the rest of this season, a chance for one couple to have their wedding paid for and their 15 minutes to continue.…

Macklemore married longtime girlfriend Tricia Davis in 2015 and, for Valentine’s Day, released “Spoons,” a song about the more mundane sexual aspects of being involved in a longtime relationship, including a perhaps made-up scenario about getting mad that she watched ahead in Game of Thrones without him but getting…

On Valentine’s Day, the octopuses at the Seattle Aquarium are typically afforded the opportunity to get a little nasty — so long as they don’t mind a gaggle of human voyeurs. But this year, there was no octo-sexing, for fear of coital cannibalism.

In a delightful Valentine’s Day gesture that makes me searingly jealous, Leonardo DiCaprio planted a smooch on Dame Maggie Smith’s noble cheek during the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) Awards. The impetus—not that one was really necessary, hello—was the “BAFTA Kiss Cam” introduced at this year’s…

Letters of Note, a site dedicated to finding and publishing anything from postcards to telegrams to faxes that contain captivating material, has dedicated their Twitter feed to Valentine’s Day 2016 by posting love letters via Twitter that are meant to “pummel you”—into enduring hope for everlasting love or into a…

The Game’s most recent Valentine’s Day-themed eggplant post on Instagram did not set out to become what might be the first work of art made entirely out of hashtags, but lo, behold: a mere dick print has somehow become an inadvertent (and admittedly somewhat imperfect) V-Day how-to for the V and a call-to-arms for men…

Lobsters like their foreplay.

Today, in quick succession, two important facts were revealed unto the world: that Florence Henderson, 81, has multiple “friends with benefits,” and that Ivana Trump, 66, has “about three boyfriends.” These women are getting it left and right, and I am 9/10ths thrilled for them and 1/10th so upset!

In a world full of dating apps and divorces, it’s easy to look back on the courtship practices of the past through rose-colored lenses. While now, it’s all “butt stuff on the first date,” a suitor back then would win you over with charm, chivalry, and Valentines featuring creepy fat babies. (And if that didn’t work,…

Oh good, it’s the most awful time of the year, and we’ve made a few cards for the occasion. Last year’s anti-valentines were fun, but we wanted to add a few more to the list. Share them with the ones you love, or the ones you hate.

Weather experts have predicted that a potentially historic cold snap will make its way across the East Coast and Ohio Valley this weekend, with temperatures plunging to 30 degrees below average. That is a big disappointment, because I was hoping to have some sex on Valentine’s Day and I don’t like being nude if I’m…

Listen, V-Day is right around the corner, and if you don’t have something special planned, I have a few words for you: $250. Non-toxic paint. Canvas. Fucking. Art. Wow!

John Waters, also known as the “Pope of Trash” and the “Prince of Puke,” has thoroughly expressed his genius for bad taste through the years with films like Hairspray, Cry-Baby, or—for the truly blessed—Pink Flamingos, which featured a scene wherein Divine, drag queen and frequent Waters collaborator, famously ate a…

A sexy-as-hell (kinda too sexy) crocheted Minions thong for men is available for purchase on Etsy.

Every Valentine’s day, the Bronx Zoo offers something very unique—the chance to name a cockroach after your loved one. For just $10, the zoo will send your very special someone a digital certificate showing a Madagascar hissing roach has been named in honor of them. And for $25, they’ll get also some chocolates! This…

Hey, dudes. It's Valentine's Day, and guess what? None of your tired ideas are gonna cut it this year. Face it, you're a lame-ass loser who lacks originality and passion, and it's a miracle that women remember your name, let alone show romantic interest.