Vaginal Steaming Is the Only Way to Solve Your Problems

Feeling tired, stressed or a little bit grumpy? Angry at your husband/wife/pet cockatoo? Feminine odors got you down? Well, there's a centuries-old cure for all of that, and it's getting hot air blown all the way up into your laughing place in a public setting. And it only costs 50 bucks. Isn't your health worth that? » 1/28/15 7:15pm 1/28/15 7:15pm

Woman On Heroin Smuggles Gun Into Jail Via Vagina, Is Basically Magic

Josephine McAllister of Albuquerque , NM was recently booked on a grab bag of charges (including larceny, obstruction of the law and receiving stolen credit cards). But all of that wasn't enough, so McAllister is also adding "hiding a gun in the privates" to her list of charges. Except her story needs some work. » 1/07/15 6:40pm 1/07/15 6:40pm

Can You Draw an Anatomically Correct Penis? An Experiment

In a recent online experiment, a woman asked a group of men to draw medically accurate vaginas to make a point: If men don't even know basic facts about female anatomy, how can they legislate it? They failed miserably. But how might women do at sketching medically accurate peen? We decided to conduct our own… » 1/01/15 4:15pm 1/01/15 4:15pm

My Neck, My Gash: Men Don't Know What to Call Your Vagina. Let's Help.

There comes a time between a person and another person with a vagina when that vagina is going to need to be addressed. Out loud. Not in the clinical sense, but in the romantic or sexual sense. It seems some guys aren't sure how to proceed, at least according to one of their spokesmagazines. So let's help them out. » 12/09/14 4:10pm 12/09/14 4:10pm

Here Are the Real and Ridiculous Reviews for Vaginal Shrinking Cream

If there's one thing that hasn't yet been advertised on late-night television, it's a cream that will shrink your vagina into a tiny nothing that not even an ant could get through. A cream that works miracles to turn even the biggest sleeve of wizard into an impenetrable fortress of solitude. Now that's changed. » 10/09/14 7:00pm 10/09/14 7:00pm

OMFG Teach Your Kids Accurate Names for Body Parts Already

Generally speaking, girls have vaginas. Boys have penises. I did not think this was a groundbreaking thing to teach a 4-year-old (even at 2), but it is according to her teacher, who informed me my kid was telling other kids that babies come out of vaginas. First, I was so proud. Then I realized she was asking me to… » 9/24/14 12:20pm 9/24/14 12:20pm

Apple Will Engrave 'Penis' on Your iPad but Not 'Vagina' or 'Clit'

Today in absolutely fucking absurd and transparent gender bias rooted in the widespread male terror of women's mysterious, swampy genitals, Apple apparently refuses to engrave "vagina" or "clit" on anyone's iPad! You can, however, get "penis" or "dick" permanently etched into your electronics with no trouble… » 7/09/14 7:00pm 7/09/14 7:00pm

Practice Eating Pussy by Licking Your Phone's Filthy Screen

As Superbad star and Oscar nominee Jonah Hill once said in one of his most criminally underrated performances: You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy. You probably don't want them to think you're bad at eating it, either. Problem is, for people who have never attempted performing oral sex on a… » 3/06/14 6:10pm 3/06/14 6:10pm

Can Penises Get Stuck Inside Vaginas? MAYBE!

Well, this is terrifying. If you've ever wondered whether (private) parts can get stuck inside each other during sex (I have! Because I am always thinking about scary things: sex mishaps, the eventual heat death of the universe, etc.) then you can safely tell yourself that yes it can happen, but it probably won't.… » 1/04/14 6:45pm 1/04/14 6:45pm