WTF: Utah Elementary School Seizes Lunches from Indebted Kids

Today in What the Ever Loving Fuck: School officials at Uintah Elementary in Salt Lake City, Utah seized upwards of 40 students' cafeteria-issued lunches and threw them in the trash this Tuesday — all because the kids had unpaid balances on their lunch accounts. Yes, they punished children too young to have any real… » 1/30/14 12:00pm 1/30/14 12:00pm

Conservatives STILL Trying to Fight Same-Sex Marriage in Utah

On Monday, a District Judge ruled that Utah's ban against same sex marriage is invalid, despite state lawyers filing for a stay over the weekend. This decision means Utah remains the 18th state where gay couples can marry, along with the District of Columbia. However local conservatives won't let the constitution stop… » 12/24/13 10:40am 12/24/13 10:40am

Judge Rules That Polygamy Is Only Technically Illegal in Utah

Polygamists in Utah are probably enjoying a whole weekend of non-alcoholic Jello shots after a U.S. District Court judge ruled Friday that parts of Utah's polygamy laws are unconstitutional, effectively decriminalizing polygamy. » 12/15/13 12:00pm 12/15/13 12:00pm

Utah Man 'Sick' of Depraved American Women Finds Foreign Bride Online

» 9/30/13 10:30am 9/30/13 10:30am

One Utah man has bravely gone where no man has gone before: online, in search of a foreign bride who looks like a model but has the values of his grandmother. These matrimony-worthy prizes do not exist in the den of iniquity that is the United States, so he found her in Ukraine, and is now, happily, the King of… » 9/30/13 10:30am 9/30/13 10:30am

School Completely Overreacts, Removes Teen for Dyeing Her Hair a…

In the most foolheaded story of the year, a 15-year-old girl in Hurricane, UT is banned from school until she dyes her hair back to a "natural" color. Yes, this is something that is happening in the year 2013 because the robots won and the matrix is real. Honestly, if middle school girls can't dye their hair, we should… » 2/11/13 11:00am 2/11/13 11:00am

Utah State Senator’s Adultery Scenario Features Jobless Wife and…

A new divorce bill proposing that spouses who cheat should pay more in alimony was struck down during a committee meeting at Utah's State Capitol this week, but not before State Sen. Lyle Hillyard (R., because of course he is) managed to remove one of his shoes, unroll his dress sock, and insert his entire stinky foot… » 2/03/13 4:00pm 2/03/13 4:00pm

Prominent Republican Fundraiser Allegedly Also Quite Gifted at Rape

Utah Tea Party activist and prominent fund raiser Greg Peterson owns a beautiful 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom 3,000 square foot cabin in the ruggedly gorgeous area outside of Salt Lake City. Over the years, with the help of his fancy cabin, Peterson has proven himself an adept host — entertaining and gladhanding with the… » 7/19/12 6:30pm 7/19/12 6:30pm

Can These Two Black Female Rising Stars Convince America that the Tea…

Since the Tea Party made its rocky, socially awkward debut on the national stage by sending elected officials tea bags without knowing that "tea bagging" can also mean "gently resting one's ballsack upon someone's face," they've struggled to convince American voters that they're not comprised of a bunch of uncool oldsters… » 6/26/12 2:10pm 6/26/12 2:10pm

Justice Department Putting the Kibosh on Intimidation in…

The creepy saga of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints in Utah and Arizona may be rocketing toward a satisfying conclusion. The U.S. Justice Department has filed suit against two towns straddling the Utah-Arizona border, alleging that town officials have continued to take their cue from… » 6/21/12 11:55pm 6/21/12 11:55pm

Mormons Surprise Everyone By Marching in Salt Lake City's Gay Pride…

You might think that gay pride parades and the Mormon Church would go together like, well, gay people and Mormons, but something unusual happened in Salt Lake City yesterday that proved otherwise. Almost 300 Mormons marched in the city's gay pride parade and showed their support with signs that said things like "God… » 6/04/12 9:00pm 6/04/12 9:00pm

Why Sister Wives Hasn't Resulted in a Polygamy Conviction

Sister Wives, that show on TLC (The Learning Channel — where America goes to gawk at weirdos) that features a constantly grinning blonde man and his four wives who live in Utah with there eleventeen kids, features a family blatantly breaking the law. On television. So why hasn't anyone had to pay a fine or go to jail? » 6/01/12 1:30pm 6/01/12 1:30pm