What the Heck Is Going on With Instagram and Soundcloud Right Now?

Some questions: Why does SoundCloud, sweet cloudpunk tweenrave trap-remix oasis, have ads all up in my ear now? Why does Instagram have a “@music” channel and a @music editor and a plan to roll out @music longform Instagrams and a goddamn Monthly Hashtag Project? This is going to be an anti-explainer, because there is… »4/29/15 5:50pm4/29/15 5:50pm

Ugh to This LOFT Ad About Frantically Binge-Exercising in Saran Wrap 

Yeah, yeah, we all had a lot of cookies this past month and now maybe your clothes don't fit right. Or maybe they do. Or maybe you don't give a fuck? Whatever the case, January is always a big month for "Feel bad about yourself you ugly cow"-style advertising. Clothing retailer LOFT just added another one on the pile,… »1/09/15 4:50pm1/09/15 4:50pm

'World's Toughest Job' Viral Video Is Obvious, Manipulative and Stupid

At this point, if anyone on the internet tells me that a video is going to "blow my mind," or that I need to "wait for it," or that I should prepare to "change the way I think," I immediately want to run an ultra-marathon down an abandoned mine shaft and into the earth's molten core. I despise a "big reveal." How dare… »4/15/14 4:00pm4/15/14 4:00pm

Breaking: Annoying ​Rich People Feel "Deep Affinity" for Africa

The New York Times ran a fairly exasperating piece about Matthew Mellon and Nicole Hanley Mellon's lifestyle-infused clothing line. (If you don't know these people, don't even worry about it—I'm not even sure if working class are supposed to know about these things.) Anyway this gruesome twosome plan to make their… »4/13/14 2:30pm4/13/14 2:30pm

Girl Eats Her Own Body Weight in Ketchup EVERY Year

We all have weird food habits. I know one girl who eats french fries with a fork and salad with her hands. I know another who eats hummus with a spoon when she doesn't gave pita bread or baby carrots and another still whose favorite snack is apple slices layered with cheddar cheese. (PSYCH, ALL OF THESE GIRLS ARE ME.)… »2/27/14 7:15pm2/27/14 7:15pm

World's Worst Parents Dina and Michael Lohan Take Their Feud to TV

Did you for one second think that we didn't live in a bizarro circus world where the less-famous parents of very famous people go on television to accuse each other of exhibiting violent behavior and being addicted to cocaine? Well, that's your mistake because as it turns out, that is the exact bizarro circus world… »9/06/13 4:00pm9/06/13 4:00pm

A Brief History of Tech Companies Talking to Women Like Total Assholes

No matter how far technology might advance, there's always been one little area that the reigning powers-that-be have never quite managed to figure out. Or more specifically, an area they've never quite figured out how to talk to. Tech companies, meet women. And then stop treating them like idiots. »8/02/13 6:14pm8/02/13 6:14pm

Dude Spends a Bunch of Time and Money Making a Music Video About How He Can't Get Laid

If you're having trouble with the ladies, one great thing to do is to produce a gigantic musical whine-a-thon with high production values, thoughtful staging, and mildly amusing stunt casting, and then wait for it to go viral. Then all the women on earth will know that you're the kind of stand-up gentleman who… »2/13/13 5:35pm2/13/13 5:35pm

What Happens When a Town Has Lots of Single Men and Not Many Women? Bad Things.

Shale oil formations in the pastures of North Dakota have been reining in men across the country with labor-intensive work and high paying salaries (some men make up to six figures), but the promise of work has had an interesting and unique side effect on the small, remote oil towns. Basically, there are too many men,… »1/16/13 10:30am1/16/13 10:30am

Do You Like Video Games? Well Then You'll LOVE Masturbating to This Sexy Dismembered Lady Torso!

God, you know what I hate about intact, living female bodies? YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP. It's like, can't you bitches see I'm trying to play my open-world action role-playing game right now!!?!?!?? Amirite, dudes? Seriously. But then—conundrum!—the thing about female bodies is that female bodies is where they keep… »1/15/13 4:10pm1/15/13 4:10pm

Author of Dirty Girls Social Club Freed From Big Bad Feminism By Her "Sexy Cowboy"

There's no story recycled by mainstream rom-coms and commercial literature more frequently than that of the uppity, cerebral woman being put in her place (and happily!) by a dude who can't spell. Case in point: The Ugly Truth was on about three times in a row last night! Thank you, but I would rather drink battery… »12/23/12 6:00pm12/23/12 6:00pm