This is fucking gro-o-o-o-o-ooossss! Both Valentino and the UGG corporation have been caught attempting to leverage Philip Seymour Hoffman's celebrity-heavy funeral for brand recognition.
Terrible news, sorority girls of 2003. Despite the heroic efforts of Tom Brady and Andre Leon Talley and the ghost of Newlyweds-era Jessica Simpson, the once vaunted Ugg boot is swirling down the crapper posthaste. With profits down 31%, it seems unlikely that the company will be able to limp along for too much longer.
Place your bets: How long will it take before this story, about a creepy pedophile/Uggs boot fetishist, makes it into an episode of Law & Order: SVU?
If this recession is going to take our jobs, evaporate our investments, and vanish our feelings of security for the future, I have one small favor to ask. Could this recession also kill Uggs?