Or Just Look Like One

Have you always dreamed of looking like a corpse? Now you, too, can be strangely pale and weirdly glowing (aka "drop-dead gorgeous"), thanks to Etsy-user Twimom and her "Cullinize-me" photoshopping service. [Etsy]

"You Can Make Me Vampior?"

If the actual movie had been as short and hilarious as LOLNew Moon, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. [Mircosuede]

Not A Twihard? You Can Still Be Team Edward

The James Olmos T-shirt is $20; the Munster one is just a dream… for now available here!!! [Buzzfeed via io9, HijinksEnsue]

Twilight's Hero Is Abusive, Which Makes Him All The More Romantic

If you're familiar with the Twilight universe, you know that Bella and Edward have an unhealthy relationship. A LiveJournal user has detailed fifteen ways, using a list from the National Domestic Violence hotline. Is that why Twilight's so "romantic"? More »

Vampire Trend Causes Pale Foundation Sales To Soar

Pale women of the world, start hoarding your makeup: thanks to Twilight, sales of pale foundation have risen 200% over the past month, leading the always understated Daily Mail to declare pale makeup a "sinister trend." [DailyMail]

Peggy Olson Was Totally Team Jacob

Sparkly vampires may be all the rage now, but as you can see from this vintage Cutex lipstick ad, at one point in time it was quite fashionable to choose between Team Jacob's Grandfather and Team Hot Mummy. [VintageAds]

Random Dude Bites Girl At New Moon Screening

He was not Edward Cullen, or even Robert Pattinson. He was some 45-year-old guy who made "sexual comments," then bit her neck. She's 17 and traumatized. As if you needed another reason to be Team Werewolf. [Cinematical]

Supermodel In Abusive Relationship; Leona Lewis Doing A Clothing Line

• A friend of Daul Kim who IM'd with the model the night before Kim was found dead in her Paris apartment says that Kim complained of feeling depressed, and was in an abusive relationship. But she was scared to leave:

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Alice > Bella, That's For Sure, But Who Is The White Queen?

"…But [Edward] went on all the same, shedding buckets of sparkling tears, until there was a small pool all around him." — From If Lewis Carroll Had Written Twilight: An Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Twilight Mashup. [Lit Drift]

New Moon Breaks Records; Amy Proposes To Blake

• 'Sup Twihards? This column alleges Robert Pattinson is a "hot property" thanks to New Moon's record-breaking box office this weekend…

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Fake Your Way Into Twilight Fandom: A Guide To Surviving A Sparkly Vampire World

Well, crew, New Moon has made like 8 kerbillion dollars this weekend (it's actually $140.7 million), which means that the entire world has gone Twilight crazy. Here are some tips for successfully navigating a sparkly vampire-obsessed world. More »

Taylor Lautner And His Army Of Woo Girls Blow Edward Cullen Off The Stage

While telling Jimmy Kimmel about his workout routine for New Moon Taylor Lautner let it slip that he needed to put "something in [his] mouth every two hours." Upon hearing this, the audience completely lost their minds. More »

Miley's Fatal Bus Crash; Vatican Official Condemns Twilight's "Deviant Message"

• Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

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Critics Say New Moon, Twihards Suck

The reviews for New Moon are terrible, with critics trashing the script, director, actors, CGI, and even Twihards themselves, saying the film panders to fans who wouldn't know a good movie if it bit them. More »

Cool Kids Love New Moon, Too!

R.Patt and K-Stew insulated themselves from the ravening opening-night hordes with a scenester posse at NYC's Landmark's Sunshine Cinema: It would seem Agyness Deyn, Natalie Portman and the entire cast of Gossip Girl are all Twi-Hards. Down to the costumes! More »

Amy's Implants Are Leaking; Mariah Is Demanding Kittens

• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

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Nicole Richie Hospitalized; Polanski Hearing May Be Televised

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

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