John Oliver Bravely Leads the National Pumpkin Spice Backlash

Pumpkin Spice is a plague on our society, and Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver will stand its tyranny no more. In a web exclusive, the comedian declared our desire for the ubiquitous autumn taste less palatable than swallowing spiders in our sleep. Shots fired. » 10/13/14 9:30am 10/13/14 9:30am

End Times: Nutella Shortage and Trader Joe's Almond Butter Recall

Grab your spoons in terror because your delicious spreads are in danger. Danger! From Trader Joe’s recalling their almond butter to Nutella maybe running out of hazelnuts, shit is getting real in the world of toast and late night snacks. » 8/20/14 11:00am 8/20/14 11:00am

There's a Kale Shortage! Or Not.

Buy all the kale you can right now, because like limes and quinoa before it, happiness is fleeting and the Food Gods are untrustworthy. Attention: There Is A Kale Shortage. Gird Your Grocery Carts! » 7/24/14 6:15pm 7/24/14 6:15pm

Lefties Like Trader Joe's for the Hawaiian Shirts

Republicans and Democrats love to argue over who cares more about small business, but, as it turns out, both parties are crazy for chains. Does this mean that the groups can unite to finally put all those neighborhood mom'n'pop joints out of business? Sort of, but they'll each have to do it in their own way, with… » 2/08/13 10:40am 2/08/13 10:40am

Health Alert: Don't Drink Water or Eat Food or You'll Die

Oh, food. So delicious and necessary-for-not-dying, and yet soooooooooo constantly full of poisonous poop. Food recalls are probably my favorite type of horrifying national emergency, because they're so mysterious and close to home. Like, I eat food (much to the displeasure of the "Manosphere")!!! I totally eat it all… » 12/03/12 4:00pm 12/03/12 4:00pm