Kids React to The Sheer Terror That is Teddy Ruxpin

Remember when Santa brought your friend Julie a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas and didn't bring you shit and when you talked to Julie about it she said "well maybe Santa just loves me more" and you had to tell that little brat that actually Santa doesn't exist and she's just a spoiled little monster? Anyway, watch some of… » 1/21/15 6:10pm 1/21/15 6:10pm

Sexy Bratz Dolls Get Gentle Make-Unders Courtesy of Tasmanian Artist

The hyper-sexualization of children's toys (especially Bratz Dolls) make many of us very uncomfortable. In fact, when a new Bratz movie came into the video store I worked in once, a custome legitimately asked if it was a new animated porno he could rent. So these make-unders done by a Tasmanian artist who "rescues and… » 1/19/15 7:45pm 1/19/15 7:45pm

Play-Doh Ruins Childhood With Dick-Shaped 'Extruder' Toy

Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the… » 12/30/14 12:10pm 12/30/14 12:10pm

Old American Girl Dolls Are Selling for Hundreds of Dollars on eBay

Of the five original American Girl dolls that gripped the hearts of millennial youth in the '80s and '90s, only two — Addy and Samantha — are still on sale through Pleasant Company. To fill this nostalgia void (and make some big bucks), opportunists have taken to eBay to sell their old American Girl Dolls for hundreds… » 11/08/14 12:30pm 11/08/14 12:30pm

​12 Strange And Disturbing Facts About The Original My Little Pony

Some people are weirded out by the immense popularity of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. But other than the terrifying Equestria Girls, FiM has nothing on the original My Little Pony cartoon. Here are a dozen weird bits of trivia about the classic show and the toys that may blow your pony minds. » 11/06/14 2:25pm 11/06/14 2:25pm

Tetris and Angry Birds Movies Are Coming, Because That's Cinema Now

Good luck getting the thumbs-up for an original concept featuring a female lead. But wouldn't you like to make a big-budget movie about some third-rate plastic tchotchke from the 1990s, instead? That's all Hollywood seems capable of producing these days, and now there are projects based on Angry Birds and Tetris, as… » 10/01/14 7:10pm 10/01/14 7:10pm

Mom Flips Lid Because Kid's Barbie Sounds Like It's Saying 'Fuck'

A U.K. mother has complained that her 7-year-old's Talkin' Barbie says "What the fuck?" in addition to programmed phrases like "Amaze!" and "I love a makeover!" Is this the work of a disgruntled Mattel employee or has Barbie finally grown sentient and realized how bullshit it is that she works about 50 jobs and all… » 9/16/14 1:45pm 9/16/14 1:45pm

Goodbye, Barbie: Lego Dethrones Mattel As the World's Top Toymaker

Please keep Barbie, Ken and Skipper in your prayers because it isn't going so well for the famous family: Lego has just surged past Mattel as the world's largest producer of small tchotchkes that are easily lost and hurt like the very devil when you step on them in the middle of the night. » 9/04/14 4:10pm 9/04/14 4:10pm

Lego to Launch Female Scientist Series Following Gender Controversy

Lego has announced that it will launch science-themed play sets featuring female scientists and their lab tools. The series was chosen as the latest winner of Legos Ideas—in which people can submit and vote on proposals for play sets they'd like the toy company to sell—and comes on the heels of criticism surrounding… » 6/05/14 2:20pm 6/05/14 2:20pm

Doctor Barbie Makes Girls Care Less About Becoming Doctor People

Astronaut, computer engineer, Hawaiian haver of "fun" —Barbie's held more jobs for which she's clearly unqualified than Ryan Seacrest. But all of her career costumes were supposed to be a means to an end, a way for girls to play with a doll who would encourage them to pursue their big dreams. Turns out, career-having… » 3/05/14 3:00pm 3/05/14 3:00pm

What Bizarre and Depraved Things Did You Subject Your Barbies To?

If you have been on the Internet in the past few weeks, it's likely been brought to your attention that Barbie, a little hunk of plastic shaped like a woman with synthetic hair on it, appeared in Sports Illustrated. Many feminists see this unholy union as a perfect reification of the problems with both crumbling… » 2/21/14 1:20pm 2/21/14 1:20pm