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toy stories

toy stories

Barbie Sales Flatten Worldwide -- Are Bratz & Miss Bimbo To Blame?

Several financial news outlets are discussing Mattel's falling first-quarter results, and most place the blame squarely on the slim shoulders of a certain doll named Barbie. Barbie, which was introduced in 1959, is now first-runner-up for the under-12 set, in part because of competition from edgier, increasingly-popular brands like Bratz and Hannah Montana dolls and in part because of the emergence of web-based toys. According to Portfolio, "Children want Web-based toys, and they want them at younger and younger ages" the magazine cites the success of interactive toys like Webkinz, and let's not forget the potential pleasures of Miss Bimbo). But the real reason Portfolio believes that Barbie is no longer the reigning beauty queen in toy world is because "at 49, Barbie is becoming obsolete." More »

toy stories

How Do You Dispose Of Broken Vibrators?

A story on Utne about "green" sex toys the other day got me wondering: how exactly does one get rid of a sex toy? Particularly the large ones, meant for those who mean business? I used to have a humongous Dr. Scholl's personal massager that my ex-BF's mom gave him for Christmas one year after he started weight-training. (Weird, I know.) Naturally, I called dibs on it and used it as my main vibe for years, long after we'd broken up. Then, one day, it started sparking, turned black, and conked out so I ripped the cord out of the wall, in fear that it might start a fire. When I walked it out to the kitchen and stepped on my trashcan pedal to throw it out, I realized that the vibe was almost as long as the garbage. (I'm not kidding, I measured it and it was a little over 18" long.) And then it hit me: maybe I should be put it out on the curb on the "large electronics and metal" recycling day. As a substantial piece of machinery, it seemed like it qualified! More »

toy stories

Glove Affair: Testing The Fukuoku Five Finger Vibrator

One of the sex toys I picked up at the Adult Entertainment Expo last week was the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. The packaging claims it was created from "the secrets of the Orient" but I actually got it from an booth where a blond middle-aged woman in a slutty police uniform was wearing the glove and using it on people's necks and backs. Having been on my feet in heeled boots all day and with a bag that weighed 25 lbs, the Massage Glove felt like heaven when she placed it beneath my shoulder blades. The glove comes in versions for both the right and left hands, and there's a vibe in each finger, with two adjustable speeds. There's also a little pocket for the battery pack, so there's no bulky appendage or wires to get in the way, making the product seemingly perfect for partner sex. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof? Yeah. So, the other night, I ran a bath, grabbed my Fukuoku and put my hand to work. More »

Mattel is recalling one million Fisher-Price toys today because they're covered in lead paint. Many of the products feature Sesame Street or Nickelodeon characters, and all were manufactured in — surprise! — China. Barbie's not on the list, but we have a feeling she would be if she could. (Slut!) Better buy Bratz instead! [NYTimes]