What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate It

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year—unless you're like me and don't celebrate it. Then you're stuck with a world mostly shut down and seemingly nothing to do. Fortunately you have quite a few options, whether you're along or with friends, to make December 25th a fun day off regardless of your observances. »12/24/13 4:18pm12/24/13 4:18pm

Integrated Prom Is Not So Integrated -- But Trailblazing Nonetheless

A mixed-race group of students at Wilcox County High School in south Georgia received worldwide attention earlier this year when they raised money to throw the area's first racially integrated prom after the school refused to fund the event. (Yes, in 2013.) Although it seems that few white kids deigned to dance at… »5/24/13 12:35pm5/24/13 12:35pm

You're Fucked, But You're Free: A Message To The Class Of 2013

It's May, which means it's time once again for actors and writers and politicians and whatever Thomas Friedman is to hit the graduation circuit and hold senior classes hostage for hours and hours in 85-degree heat. These grad speeches are little more than TED talks in funny hats. Trust me: One day, you will see… »5/15/13 3:13pm5/15/13 3:13pm

March Madness: Come as You Are — a Brain, an Athlete, a Basket Case, a Princess or a Criminal

Whoa. WHOA. Did that really just happen?! Did Gameboy really beat out East Coast vs. West Coast Rap by less than 100 votes?! Important question for all you conspiracy theorists out there — did East Coast vs. West Coast Rap really lose or did it just fake its own death and is now chilling out on some remote island… »4/05/13 6:20pm4/05/13 6:20pm

I Re-Watched Jurassic Park for You Because, Really, Who Has the Time?

When I was 12, in 1994, I basically did three things: watch The Fugitive, watch A League of Their Own, and watch Jurassic Park. Oh, and listen to Weird Al's "Off the Deep End." Four things. Over and over and over. (Oh!!! And play that Yo! Noid Nintendo game! Five things! But this is not relevant.) In that… »4/05/13 1:35pm4/05/13 1:35pm

March Madness Elite Eight Naturally Includes an Eight Ball

Welcome the the Elite Eight! Yesterday, voters decided to say no to D.A.R.E and yes to MTV (Daren the Lion would be so disappointed in you) and poor Monica Lewinsky still can't catch a break, having lost to the Seattle Sound by a whopping 3,670 votes. Oh, well. She can always go back to her career as a purse designer. »4/04/13 5:30pm4/04/13 5:30pm

Georgia Teens Fight for Racially Integrated Prom Because It's 2013, for Chrissakes

Black and white students at Wilcox County High School in south Georgia aren't allowed to go to the same prom. Instead, students and parents sponsor segregated proms — yep, in 2013 — and kids that break the skin-dress code are barred entry from the caucasian rager. A mixed-race group of friends who hang out all of the… »4/04/13 11:55am4/04/13 11:55am

The One Hot Guy on Girls Quits Because He Can't Stand Lena Dunham

Say goodbye to sadsacky-turned-sexier Zuckerbergian Charlie, Marnie's (Allison Williams') chewtoy on Girls (have you guys even heard of this show? Because like NOBODY talks about it). Actor Christopher Abbott and the Prince mustache he sports in his downtime have "abruptly" departed from the HBO show shortly after … »4/04/13 9:00am4/04/13 9:00am

Jeremy Irons Is Being Completely Gross Again, Compares Gay Marriage to Incest

Ew, Jeremy Irons. Ew. Remember the other month when he waxed all creepy about how ladies should really just chill out and let men rub us on our bottoms whenever they feel like it? Well, now Monsieur Humbert is grappling with another social conundrum: Just what is up with gay guys!? Hold on to your butts (especially… »4/03/13 9:00pm4/03/13 9:00pm

Tyler Perry Isn't Just an Artless Hack, He's a Scary Ideologue

There are a lot of things to laugh at in Tyler Perry's Temptation: Kim Kardashian's attempts to move and talk at the same time, Vanessa Williams's fake French accent for no reason (hoh-hoh-hohhh!), the alien dialogue, the blunt-force moralizing, the sheer ineptitude of Perry's filmmaking. (Worth noting: None of… »4/03/13 6:06pm4/03/13 6:06pm

March Madness: D.A.R.E to Say No to the Seattle Sound

There wasn't too much of a contest yesterday as the Brat Pack knocked The Cosby Show clean out of March Madness with 60% of the vote (I'm sorry, Theo! Judd Nelson is just too damn tough!) and the Spice Girls sank Titanic with one swift Girl Power kick to James Cameron's nards. Safe to say that while Cosby and Titanic »4/03/13 5:40pm4/03/13 5:40pm

This Week in Tabloids: Angelina Thinks Her Giant Engagement Ring Is Tacky

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Tanisha Love Ramirez assists us in analyzing the "news" in In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style, and Star. This week, Kardashian weight is news again: Kim is fat, Khloe is hot. Also? "Real" "Housewives" get liquid nose jobs; Ryan Gosling's dogs need their privacy; and the real… »4/03/13 3:40pm4/03/13 3:40pm