tooth fairy - Jezebel

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"If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
Santa, The Tooth Fairy And Other Lies Our Parents Told Us

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IHazKittehz
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
Once, when I lost a tooth as a youngster I was very concerned that it wasn't white enough and the tooth fairy wouldn't accept it. So I took it to the bathroom and started brushing away at it like crazy. I must have been too forceful becasue the thing slipped out of my hands and went right down the drain. I was HORRIFIED. In tears, I told my mom what had happened. "I'll never get my quarter and the tooth fairy will be so disappointed!!!" My mom suggested I leave a note for the tooth fairy, explaining the situation. Lo and behold I got my quarter.

PS - Love you, mom!
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HuckleberryFriend
06/18/09

@IHazKittehz: Awww great story!
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BabyJane
06/18/09

@IHazKittehz: That's so sweet!
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ellaesther
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
I may have to get this for my little girl. She would be ALL over that shit!

Oh, oh, and she has a birthday coming up! Yay, an excuse to buy something cute for my kid!

kthxbai, brb!
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
I like it. It trains children to get accustomed to excessive bureaucracy/red tape & hit or miss service from civil servants early on in life.
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BabyJane
06/18/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Ha, I heard the sad trombone in my head after reading your comment.
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tscheese
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
When you get older, the situation is, regrettably, reversed. You get to fill out all the bureaucratic paperwork, but when all or part of a tooth needs to be removed, you have to pay the fairy.

Not that I'm bitter about my root canals.
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BabyJane
06/18/09

@tscheese: Or my two crowns. Nope, not bitter at all.
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ellaesther
06/18/09

@BabyJane: @tscheese: Nor I! About my five root canals, four crowns, OR my recently-extracted molar.

Not a bit.

Fucking genetics.
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
That rocks. I know of a little one presently in need of this thing.

And, yay! Part 2 of Ickle & Lardee is up!

[mymilktoof.blogspot.com]
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colormeroutine
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
Does the tooth fairy visit adults? Because the number of appointments my dentist recently made me set up seems to indicate mine will all be falling out of my head soon, and I could use the extra cash
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sobsister
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
Aw cute. I loved filling out official paperwork as a kid too. My favorite make-believe game was playing "bank". Deposit slips!!! Pens on chains!!!
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ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox)
06/18/09

@sobsister: Fellow dorks unite!!
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Jello Mix
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
Oh, man. As a kid I would have wanted that in triplicate: one for the tooth fairy, one for my mom's keepsake box, and one for my hanging folder system.
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FashionShowAtLunch
06/18/09

In reply to Dental Desk Work
Ugh. I have a cleaning in an hour. I hate cleanings.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
06/18/09

@FashionShowAtLunch: Dentist appointment! Dentist appointment! Dentist appointment at lunch!

Not as fun as fashion shows?
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FashionShowAtLunch
06/18/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: Ha! Not so much. Unless Kelly Kapoor is going to be my hygienist. I bet we'd have some fun with the nitrous.
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CollegeCamel
06/18/09

@FashionShowAtLunch: Ugh, I hate them too. They always make my mouth bleed like they're stabbing it with a machete.
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The HZA.
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
I have also uhm, watch Yo Gabba Gabba. Because I wanted to! And the dudes who work on the set all look like hotties.
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Chivone
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
AMY SEDARIS IS RACIST! RACIST! RACIST! Why do you guys post on this racist bitch?! Gawd.
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Cicada
05/21/09

@Chivone: *sigh*

The "Ching-chong" caricature was a reference to a Strangers With Candy episode (Amy's character draws the same drawing and says "ching-chong"). It was an episode that mocked racists, with Amy's character Jerri being the biggest racist of them all.

She probably thought the guy was a fan and would get the reference.

But as Chuck Noblett would say, "You can't unfry things, Jerri". This racism charge will probably keep making the rounds on the internets for some time.
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greeneyedfem
05/21/09

@Cicada: Actually, it's not just about that one book signing: Sociological Images has a post up this week on Amy Sedaris and hipster racism in general: [contexts.org]

From the post: "She gets to use racist images/language and, because of her quirky persona, instead of being outraged, most people laugh . . . But on the other hand, what's so transgressive about making (ironic) racist jokes? Is it problematic for a comedian to use offensive stereotypes of groups they themselves aren't part of as a casual, on-going part of their public persona, in which case they aren't so much commenting on the stereotypes as using them to make money?"

The discussion over there is worth checking out, and this is absolutely a legit question to raise.
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slowpoke.r
05/21/09

@greeneyedfem: Wow, great link. Also, I had never seen her book before and frankly, I hope I never do again. I'm with Chivone on this one.
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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
Yo Gabba Gabba has better musical guests than SNL - JUST SAYIN'!

also - the if i didn't love teeth line is creepy if you extrapolate that to other professions - like gynecologists...
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MarissaExplainsItAll
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
I'm tripping balls over this and I'm not even stoned. Jerri Blank has that power over me.
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dirtybee
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
I saw this show for the first time with my niece last week. Now I know what to watch the next time I'm stoned.
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GirlFailer
05/20/09

In reply to "If I Didn't Love Teeth, I Wouldn't Be In The Business"
Adam Diebert is hot. His eyes make YO Gabba Gabba a little bit more bearable when he's on.
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