When last we checked in with Australian billionaire MP Clive Palmer and his plans to build a perfect replica of the Titanic (but with more lifeboats), applications for staff were flooding in. Now, he wants to sell you on the pleasures of roughing it in steerage.

Because why not, some gadzillionaire has invested in the Titanic II, an exact replica of that one crazy cruise ship that was so full of love, giant diamonds, and, uh, death, and apparently lonely boners and sad hearts are already willing to pay $1 million to be a bourgie guest at the Neue Titanic. But what if you're…