I am alone. I am utterly alone. By the time you read this, I will be gone, having jumped having been so unable to contain my excitement about the news of a Beetlejuice sequel that my heart exploded and I am now stuck in the Netherworld Waiting Room, about to meet my caseworker.

We've said it before once or twice, but this time we mean it: Love. Is. Fucking. Dead. After 13 years of unwedded bliss and admirable mutual eccentricity, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have split up. A rep for the couple tells People magazine the two "separated amicably earlier this year." This isn't about us,…

"I'm kind of sworn to secrecy. But it sounds like it might be happening." — Winona Ryder hints that Beetlejuice 2 is a go. She adds: "It's not a remake. It's 27 years later. And I have to say, I love Lydia [Deetz] so much. She was such a huge part of me. I would be really interested in what she is doing 27 years…

Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and…

Poor troubled Terminator 3 actor Nick Stahl now has a glossy senior picture in the Paul Reubens Academy Yearbook: Stahl was arrested around dinnertime last night for jerking off in the private booth of a porn store in Hollywood. The LAPD booked him for a misdemeanor (lewd conduct) and he was released a few hours…

The Killers have a fancy new music video out and guess what? It was directed by Tim Burton. AND it stars Winona Ryder as a mannequin of a moviestar that is danced with by a super-creepy cinephile, who imagines that the Winona Ryder mannequin will come to life Pygmalion-style and smile longingly at him. There are a…

Here's a family portrait of Tim Burton, Helena Bonham-Carter and their two children at Disneyland Paris. Do you think Jack and Sally are the godparents?

Japanese fans wait for the arrival of actor Johnny Depp and Director Tim Burton at the premiere of "Dark Shadows" in Tokyo, Saturday, May 12, 2012. Dark Shadows will be released in Japan, May 19. (AP Photo/Itsuo Inouye)

When we first saw a photo of Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows, we were worried: It looked cheesier than a fondue pot. But in the trailer for the Tim Burton flick, it's obvious that that's the point: He's a weirdo surrounded by weirdos! He goes from 1752 to 1972 and finds that his estate is in ruins,…

Disney just released a trailer for Tim Burton's newest venture Frankenweenie and guess what? It looks great! A lesson to Mr. Burton: stop relying on Johnny Depp in goofy costumes, leave Sondheim alone and devote yourself to more of this stop-motion awesomeness.

What did Ricky Gervais say about Johnny Depp? That he'd wear whatever Tim Burton asked him to? This is a new still from Dark Shadows, in which Depp plays a vampire named Barnabas. Obviously the flick — the tone of which is supposed to be like a "weird soap opera" — is going to be creepy, but Depp looks less like a…

Sure, this giant Kermit is cool-looking (the Muppet takes Manhattan!), but many of the balloons looming about New York City yesterday were scary as shit. Let's take a look at Macy's Thanksgiving Day horror-show.

• In the ongoing haterade-fueled campaign against Angelina Jolie, the latest is that she's "furious" that Brad Pitt called Courteney Cox after learning that she'd split from David Arquette.

Spotted in Roddy McDowell's book Double Exposure, Take Three: A poem by Tim Burton titled "Johnny Depp." It was published in 1992, yet seems to foreshadow their 1999 collaboration on Sleepy Hollow. (Click for full image.)

• Michaele Salahi won't be returning to The Real Housewives Of D.C.. That is: IF the show is renewed for a second season.

• Naomi Campbell, Iman, and Liya Kebede grace the cover of Essence's 40th anniversary September issue. [Fashion Bomb Daily]
• Two retail bigwigs got into a wee fight about how much of Martha Stewart's products they each sell. [P6]

Tim Burton is working on a movie centered around the Sleeping Beauty villain, and Angie says: "I loved her when I was a little girl. She was my favorite." Mirror, mirror on the wall… Angie's the best choice of all.

[London, England, June 6. Image via Getty.]