Today, we at Jezebel—Protectresses of Man Feelings—stumbled upon Thought Catalog’s “15 Men React To The Idea Of Taking Their Wife’s Last Name After Marriage.” We were aggrieved, nay, heartsick as we contemplated the gnawing terror experienced by Poor Men who are asked to take the names of their female partners.
One winter evening I was walking to the subway when I got a 270-word text that began, “Jia. Hi. It’s Elizabeth Wurtzel.”
There once was a time in a distant land when I actually enjoyed watching Intervention. The novelty of watching people destroy their lives had not worn off yet, and seeing someone being driven to points of desperation I thought only existed in movies seemed appealing and new.
Struggle with the stereotype that black people have huge breasts, a huge ass, a huge cock, and/or huge lips. Discover non-black people only want to sleep with you because they think being black means you have something enormous to offer.