We all knew that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a testicularly prolific, Judge Judy-level sassy Constitutional originalist who probably turns his chair around backward before he sits in it because he doesn't follow anyone's rules* (*Except the Founding Fathers, and he's a real nerd about it). But in an…
As we approach the date of the implementation of the biggest, bulkiest piece of Obamacare and (if you ask a Tea Partier) THE END OF FREEDOM AND LIBERTY FOREVER BENGAZI!, lawsuits protesting the Affordable Care Act's birth control mandate continue to push their way through the the sluggish peristalsis of the court…
SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor is slated to appear in an episode of Sesame Street next season. Supremely adorable.
Usually, when the Supreme Court upholds a law, that's it; the law is constitutional. If you want to keep on challenging that ruling, you basically have to make an entirely new law that mandates the opposite of the upheld law and then wait for it to be challenged all the way back to the Supreme Court, and then the…
Yesterday's Supreme Court ruling to uphold the Affordable Care Act came courtesy of a surprise flip by conservative Chief Justice John Roberts. Today, everyone's scrambling to write SCOTUS fanfic about why it happened — what he was thinking, whether or not he really thought the individual mandate should be upheld,…
After Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts rained his secret socialist gavel down on Obamacare, vocal anti-reality advocate Sarah Palin managed to make it through all five Kübler-Ross stages of grief. Publicly, and hilariously.
The best part of today, aside from the fact that the Affordable Care Act was upheld, has been the rush of schadenfreude that comes from watching sourpuss Michele Bachmann types flip the fuck out about it. The latest group to react poorly are men's rights activists who are upset that health care reform spends too much…
Today's health care decision really brought the idiot boys to the yard — and they're mad. So mad, in fact, that they've got half a mind to pack it all up and move somewhere that they'll be free of the tyranny of socialized medicine. Like Canada. Which has had socialized medicine since the late 1970's.
This morning, the Supreme Court caused Antonin Scalia's hairy head to rotate 360 degrees and gave liberals something to wet their beds over when it ruled that the Affordable Care Act, or the Health Care Law — or Obamacare if ya nasty— is mostly constitutional, right down to the much-maligned individual insurance…
While the Supreme Court didn't deliver their long-awaited ruling on the Affordable Care Act yet (those be-robed attention whores are probably waiting until Monday so that we all spend the next week talking about them. God. They're the worst), they did rule on an important case today — according to the Court, the…
Well, thank goodness that's settled. The Supreme Court ruled today that children conceived via in vitro fertilization after the death of a parent aren't automatically entitled to that dead parent's Social Security benefits, as they're not technically "survivors," because they're not "natural children" as defined by state…
In a continuing effort to collectively take a dump on America before they all die off, the justices of the US Supreme Court ruled today that police are entirely within their rights to strip search any person arrested for any offense, no matter how minor, even if authorities have no reason to suspect that the arrested…
The Supreme Court is currently hearing arguments over the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, or, as your coworker who won't stop recirculating email forwards has been calling it for two years, "Obamacare." At issue is whether or not George Washington et al would be okay with the idea of the federal government…
The Supreme Court's currently considering a case that would effectively lift the more stringent decency standards to which network TV programming is currently held. Networks say that it's not fair that cable gets to go out till 2 am and go on dates and stuff when they're stuck memorizing Bible verses at home and…
Seventy-eight year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on a plane today that had to be evacuated for engine trouble. Luckily, she wasn't injured, and simply slid down the emergency chute.
In a speech yesterday, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said she would likely not be confirmed if she were nominated today. Depressingly, there's no apparent reason to disagree.
Virginia Thomas is, says Justice Clarence Thomas, "my best friend" and "my bride." She says, "There was a tornado over our wedding when we got married. God knew that we were both troublemakers coming together." And as a New Yorker profile this week reveals, that's a fairly apt description.
The Supreme Court sided with the video game industry today, declaring a victor in the six-year legal match between the industry and the California lawmakers who wanted to make it a crime for anyone in the state to sell extremely violent games to kids. [Kotaku
The Supreme Court ruled against Anna Nicole Smith, posthumously, in a case that concerned the jurisdictions of the various courts entangled in the dispute over J. Howard Marshall's $1.6 billion estate. Clearly, Chief Justice John Roberts didn't think the lurid backstory
Add about a thousand female Costco employees to the 1.5 million Wal-Mart women who are going to feel the impact of the Supreme Court's ruling on class action discrimination suits this week. Of course, the parties disagree on how much of a dealbreaker the Wal-Mart decision will be for the Costco case.
What would have been the largest discrimination case in history against the nation's largest private employer will not go forward as a class, thanks to the Supreme Court's decision yesterday. Here's what's next.
All nine Justices today agreed on a legal point about whether the women suing Wal-Mart count as a single class. It's where they disagreed, 5-4 along ideological lines, that matters — namely, whether you can have a discriminated class without a written policy of discrimination. Guess which side all three female justices …
It's been been 45 years today since Griswold v. Connecticut, in which the U.S. Supreme Court saw in the Constitution a protected right to privacy — in that case, the right of married couples to use birth control.
One legal scholar calls it "the most important case the Supreme Court will hear this year." That happens to be a gender discrimination case against Wal-Mart, which the Court will hear today. So what exactly makes this case so important?
Good news for free speech, bad news for anyone who doesn't want their family's funeral disrupted by "God Hates Fags" degenerates: The Supreme Court has overwhelmingly upheld the right of the Westboro Baptist Church to protest outside military funerals.
Our most Laconic Supreme Court Justice has spent the last 5 years sitting silently on the bench and not asking any questions, not unlike the popular kids who always sat in the back of your sophomore year World History class. He says he acts that way because he's self conscious of the way he speaks, he owes those…
The appointments of Justices Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor caused liberals to wring their hands with worry. What if they weren't liberal enough? What was the President doing? Liberals, breathe a sigh of relief for now. They're kicking ass.
On Friday Monica Marquez became the first openly gay and first female Hispanic Colorado Supreme Court justice. After being sworn in by her father, a retired judge, Marquez noted, "My allegiance is to the law, not to any particular constituency."
Today during her first real day on the job, Elena Kagan will meet privately with fellow justices to decide which cases will be heard. This first meeting with a new colleague is said to be anxiety-producing even for veteran justices.
