We all knew that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a testicularly prolific, Judge Judy-level sassy Constitutional originalist who probably turns his chair around backward before he sits in it because he doesn't follow anyone's rules* (*Except the Founding Fathers, and he's a real nerd about it). But in an… » 10/07/13 2:30pm 10/07/13 2:30pm

SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor is slated to appear in an episode of Sesame Street next season. Supremely adorable. » 8/07/12 4:15pm 8/07/12 4:15pm

Yesterday's Supreme Court ruling to uphold the Affordable Care Act came courtesy of a surprise flip by conservative Chief Justice John Roberts. Today, everyone's scrambling to write SCOTUS fanfic about why it happened — what he was thinking, whether or not he really thought the individual mandate should be upheld,… » 6/29/12 6:00pm 6/29/12 6:00pm

After Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts rained his secret socialist gavel down on Obamacare, vocal anti-reality advocate Sarah Palin managed to make it through all five Kübler-Ross stages of grief. Publicly, and hilariously. » 6/29/12 1:10pm 6/29/12 1:10pm

The best part of today, aside from the fact that the Affordable Care Act was upheld, has been the rush of schadenfreude that comes from watching sourpuss Michele Bachmann types flip the fuck out about it. The latest group to react poorly are men's rights activists who are upset that health care reform spends too much… » 6/28/12 11:55pm 6/28/12 11:55pm

Today's health care decision really brought the idiot boys to the yard — and they're mad. So mad, in fact, that they've got half a mind to pack it all up and move somewhere that they'll be free of the tyranny of socialized medicine. Like Canada. Which has had socialized medicine since the late 1970's. » 6/28/12 4:20pm 6/28/12 4:20pm

While the Supreme Court didn't deliver their long-awaited ruling on the Affordable Care Act yet (those be-robed attention whores are probably waiting until Monday so that we all spend the next week talking about them. God. They're the worst), they did rule on an important case today — according to the Court, the… » 6/21/12 4:00pm 6/21/12 4:00pm

Well, thank goodness that's settled. The Supreme Court ruled today that children conceived via in vitro fertilization after the death of a parent aren't automatically entitled to that dead parent's Social Security benefits, as they're not technically "survivors," because they're not "natural children" as defined by state… » 5/21/12 6:00pm 5/21/12 6:00pm

In a continuing effort to collectively take a dump on America before they all die off, the justices of the US Supreme Court ruled today that police are entirely within their rights to strip search any person arrested for any offense, no matter how minor, even if authorities have no reason to suspect that the arrested… » 4/02/12 6:30pm 4/02/12 6:30pm

The Supreme Court is currently hearing arguments over the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, or, as your coworker who won't stop recirculating email forwards has been calling it for two years, "Obamacare." At issue is whether or not George Washington et al would be okay with the idea of the federal government… » 3/27/12 12:00pm 3/27/12 12:00pm

The Supreme Court's currently considering a case that would effectively lift the more stringent decency standards to which network TV programming is currently held. Networks say that it's not fair that cable gets to go out till 2 am and go on dates and stuff when they're stuck memorizing Bible verses at home and… » 1/13/12 1:40pm 1/13/12 1:40pm

Seventy-eight year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on a plane today that had to be evacuated for engine trouble. Luckily, she wasn't injured, and simply slid down the emergency chute. » 9/14/11 3:50pm 9/14/11 3:50pm

In a speech yesterday, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said she would likely not be confirmed if she were nominated today. Depressingly, there's no apparent reason to disagree. » 8/30/11 3:20pm 8/30/11 3:20pm

Virginia Thomas is, says Justice Clarence Thomas, "my best friend" and "my bride." She says, "There was a tornado over our wedding when we got married. God knew that we were both troublemakers coming together." And as a New Yorker profile this week reveals, that's a fairly apt description. » 8/22/11 5:10pm 8/22/11 5:10pm