It Sucks to Be a Bridesmaid Everywhere, But It Especially Sucks in the South

Let’s acknowledge a simple truth: Being part of the wedding party sucks. It’s a special honor, yes, but wearing a knockoff Jessica McClintock as you walk down the aisle holding your neck in a spine-breaking position (so the pics look good) is also a special circle of hell. So, if you’re looking to avoid that, don’t… »11/19/15 4:00pm11/19/15 4:00pm


5 Hot New Designs for the Confederate Flag

As South Carolina moves to take down the Confederate battle flag from the grounds of the statehouse, the national debate surrounding the flag grows to a new height. Among all of the impassioned arguments for and against removing this contentious symbol from the public space, it is strange that lawmakers and the public… »7/10/15 9:00am7/10/15 9:00am

Is South Carolina Just Gonna Fly That Confederate Flag Today or What?

South Carolina, a state that thoughtfully welcomes its 19 known hate groups by flying a Confederate flag over the statehouse, is facing a real quandary today. When a white man walks into a black church—a church that was targeted, surveilled and burned down 200 years ago in a period when black churches were prohibited »6/18/15 11:50am6/18/15 11:50am

Bless Your Heart: A Meditation, A Taxonomy, A Eulogy

There is a phrase that a woman can deploy like a verbal stiletto. It's increasingly dangerous to use, because many people are catching on to the phrase's true meaning. You've got a decent shot at sneaking it by folks who aren't from the South, but more and more, you try unloading it on anyone at all in America and you… »3/06/15 3:30pm3/06/15 3:30pm

Turtle Roadkill Experiment Conclusively Proves That Humans are Assholes

I've been saying this for years, and nobody ever listens to me: people, en masse, are shit. Like, actual shit. Believe me, I'd love to be wrong about this, but here's a new experiment that verifies my theory. It takes a turtle seven or eight years to reproduce, and a female turtle who lives 50 years may lay over 100… »12/29/12 12:30pm12/29/12 12:30pm

Mitt Romney Ominously Informs Mississippians That Strange Things are Happening to Him

As the neverending 2012 Republican primary continues its slog to mediocrity, the candidates are working harder and harder to gain favor in voters' hearts and minds. And when it comes to awkward pandering, no one panders harder or more awkwardly than former Massachusetts governor Mittbot Romney. While addressing a… »3/09/12 2:30pm3/09/12 2:30pm