Joan Collins Cast on E!'s Drama About Scandalous Royals

Important casting news: Grand Dynasty dame Joan Collins has been cast in a guest role on The Royals, E!'s first scripted drama. She'll be appearing alongside star Elizabeth Hurley, who plays Queen Helena, head of a fictional modern-day British royal family. Yes, this is relevant to my interests, thank you very much. » 8/15/14 2:20pm 8/15/14 2:20pm

Prince Harry's Maybe-Future-Fiancée Is Made Of Mystery and Scrunchies

Cressida Bonas is dating Prince Harry. This ostensibly makes her interesting, or, at least, more interesting than a Normal like you or I, and ostensibly means that now, in anticipation of her possibly marrying Prince Harry at some indeterminate point in the future, there are Facts about her that we must know.… » 12/26/13 6:30pm 12/26/13 6:30pm

'Portrait Artist of the Year' Paints Pregnant Duchess Kate in a Bra

Kate Middleton just can't catch a break*. From the horrifying authorized portrait earlier this year to this frightening rendition of Kate in lingerie she probably purchased at the clearance rack at Ross Dress for Less. The latter (shown above) is from the loins of the imagination of 25-year-old portrait artist Nick… » 12/12/13 9:30am 12/12/13 9:30am

We Need to Talk About Prince Harry's Girlfriend's Hair

Word on the street is that the flame-haired party king of England, future Duke of Suffolk, and the most decorated Female Body Inspector of all time, Prince Harry of Wales, is planning to marry his girlfriend of one-and-a-half years, the lithe blonde human incarnation of Burning Man Cressida Bonas—and soon. » 10/09/13 1:36pm 10/09/13 1:36pm

The Time Kate Middleton Went Antique Shopping and Asked for a Discount

Proving definitively that nothing in the world is as fun and exciting as it seems, Kate Middleton (WHO IS A PRINCESS, PROFESSIONALLY) went antique shopping and had an extraordinarily mundane time. Prince William remained in the car and looked "bored stiff," according to an eyewitness on the scene. In a related… » 10/08/13 2:00pm 10/08/13 2:00pm

Kate Middleton's Occupation Listed as "Princess" on Birth Certificate

As of Friday, Britain's Prince George is no longer an undocumented drifter living off the grid, subsisting on secrets and shadows; he's a person with a birth certificate. For whatever reason, the birth certificate was not filled out very neatly, but what are you gonna do? Summer Fridays, everyone's in a hurry. (Here's… » 8/02/13 12:19pm 8/02/13 12:19pm

A List of People I Don't Care About That I'm Supposed To

Each and every day it is the job of the people that work at this website to wake up in the morning and care about the lives of others. Some of those others are worth it. Some of them are not. And some of them have been deemed worth it by society en masse and so unfortunately, whether we care about them or not, we are… » 7/30/13 6:50pm 7/30/13 6:50pm

Royals Can Stop Pretending They Were Fine with a Girl, Says Tina Brown

Not to be outdone by CNN's totally misunderstood royalty expert correspondent — THIS IS HER CHRISTMAS, Y'ALL! — British science and magazine-ruining expert Tina Brown weighed in on the birth of the royal baby yesterday by praising Kate Middleton on her expert son-producing loins. "Now the royals can stop pretending… » 7/23/13 10:00am 7/23/13 10:00am

Big Mouth Strikes Again: Morrissey Blames Kate Middleton for Nurse's…

Stop me, oh ho ho stop me, stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: Morrissey is being a nasty jerk. Following the tragic suicide of nurse Jacintha Saldanha, the morose singer has a lot of cruel things to say, but not about the Australian radio DJs who pranked the hospital. Moz is pissed at the Duchess. » 12/14/12 5:40pm 12/14/12 5:40pm

Queen of England has been Queening So Hard Lately that the Taxpayers…

If you were worried that Queen Elizabeth II was going to freeze to death, destitute and penniless on the cold rainy Little Match Girl streets of London this year, you can relax — the UK government has just given her a raise. From now on, instead of making £HOLYSHIT per year, she'll be pulling in £OHMYGODAREYOUSERIOUS… » 6/21/12 6:40pm 6/21/12 6:40pm

Dear American News Outlets: Quit Trying to Make the Diamond Jubilee…

Look, we are not above all of the hoopla surrounding the royal family. It's hard not to get excited by Kate Middleton's glorious sun mane, the Disney-esque tale of how she, a commoner, managed to get married to the future king of England and wore a beautiful wedding dress (it had sleeves! SLEEVES!). I'm sure even the… » 6/01/12 3:20pm 6/01/12 3:20pm