'The Pick Up Artist': The Students Become The Teachers


Last night's finale of The Pick Up Artist was a bit of a bummer. We were hoping that for the final challenge they would have to "fuck close." Yeah, yeah, we know it's not really about that, it's about having confidence and blah, blah, blah... but come on. What's a reality dating show without sex? So the guys had to… » 9/25/07 3:30pm 9/25/07 3:30pm

'The Pick Up Artist': Now They're Insulting The Strippers


You know the term "don't bullshit a bullshitter"? I couldn't stop thinking that when I watched last night's episode of The Pick Up Artist, in which the dudes were expected to hit on exotic dancers and get their phone numbers. (Side note: I've always wondered why they're called "exotic" dancers and not "erotic"… » 9/18/07 3:00pm 9/18/07 3:00pm

My Mid-Morning Conversation With VH1's "Mystery"

Today the esteemed news service Afrojacks posted a number purporting to belong to VH1 Pick-Up Artist Mystery, host of VH1's The Pick-Up Artist. I dialed it, and was greeted by a welcoming voice. Then, a disconnect. Then, a ring! I picked up and commenced conversing with a man caller ID identified as VON MARKOVIC, ER… » 9/13/07 3:20pm 9/13/07 3:20pm

The Guys Are Too In Touch With Their Feelings On 'The Pick Up Artist'


Remember last week when the guys were all bawling during elimination? That carried over into this week, when the boys all wept and embraced. Then Joe D.—you know, the one who lives in a room in his parents' house with no door and whose only friends are from an online RPG — got all pissy when Pradeep the Creep slapped… » 9/11/07 4:30pm 9/11/07 4:30pm

'The Pick Up Artist': Boys Don't Cry... But Men Do


Do you see that screen grab of Mystery from last night's Pick Up Artist? Take a look at his left eye. See that shiny thing? That's a tear! All those motherfuckers cried during elimination this week. And here we thought that the most embarrassing, exploitative part of last night's episode was when the contestants all… » 9/04/07 5:45pm 9/04/07 5:45pm

'The Pick Up Artist': The Teaches Of Peaches


The boys on last night's episode of The Pick Up Artist got to make out with peaches in order to prepare for their next field test: Landing the kiss. So far, we're really enjoying Mystery's wingwoman Tara. She's cute and confident and her only major character flaw is that she's friends with that Dr. Seuss goth raver.… » 8/28/07 12:30pm 8/28/07 12:30pm

'The Pick Up Artist' Finally Offends Our Delicate, Female Sensibilities

Last night's episode of VH1's The Pick Up Artist was the first one to actually offend us as women. Previous lessons given by the show's protagonists, Mystery, and his buddies Matador and J Dog, seemed so retarded they were harmless. Besides, their intent seemed to be focusing on giving the poor schlubs under their… » 8/21/07 3:30pm 8/21/07 3:30pm

'The Pick Up Artist': Extreme Makeover Edition

We're sort of gutted about the fact that Spoon decided to leave The Pick Up Artist last night, so we've assembled a tribute clip. His roly-poly awkwardness and sweet giggle was growing on us. However, we totally understand why he wanted out of there, and actually, we respect him even more for it. Just before Spoon's… » 8/14/07 4:30pm 8/14/07 4:30pm

'The Pick-Up Artist' Seals Our Vaginas Shut

The Pick-Up Artist, VH1's new reality show that premiered last night, is sort of like Charm School but for guys—guys who not only lack game, but apparently a set of balls. Of the eight adult men in the house, half of them are virgins — including a 45-year-old — and all of them have difficulty talking to women. This is… » 8/07/07 2:00pm 8/07/07 2:00pm