"Honestly, there were hotter guys in my school than in this movie. Way hotter guys." »
Following Miley Cyrus' psychosexual appropriative nightmare VMA performance, we citizens of the world are left scrambling for answers: Why did this have to happen? Did I really just watch a young woman gyrate against a man in a Beetlejuice costume immediately after using the bodies of black women as sexualized props?… »
Two weeks ago, The Onion published a satirical article declaring North Korean despot and king of the butt-shaped haircut Kim Jong Un the "Sexiest Man Alive." And yesterday, a Chinese state newspaper reprinted the piece in its entirety, completely without sarcasm, along with a 55-image slide show of Kim Jong Un posing on… »
Sex House, the newest webseries by the geniuses at The Onion, is the perfect fake reality show, capturing the ridiculousness of The Real World, Jersey Shore and The Bachelor combined. These shows aren't on the air so we can find out what happens when seven strangers are picked to live in a mansion or whether or not… »
A Republican Congressman from Louisiana has become the laughingstock of the internet after posting a story from The Onion to his Facebook wall and then commenting on the sad, sad, evil state of the world. Congressmen: just like us! Or, rather, just like our elderly conservative great uncles who think that an… »
If you thought nothing could spoil Blue Ivy's birthday celebration, you were wrong. The witch who blessed Beyonce with her beautiful singing voice has returned for what she was promised and, in the words of fictional gossip columnist Bryan Spees, "that crone ain't giving back that baby."
Have you ever wondered if Jennifer Aniston finds you boring, Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you're kind of pretentious, or Kim Kardashian wonders why you even got hired in the first place? »
"A valuable commodity with seemingly endless uses, the woman has played a crucial role throughout human history...disobedience on the part of women was not taken lightly; physical punishments and restrictive harnesses were often employed to curb any independent behavior." [TheOnion] »