Jezebel
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the lady bunch
William Shatner Keeps O Magazine In The Shitter
Last week, Joy Behar said that they don't want men as panelists on The View, because people don't care what men have to say when they tune in to watch that show. And that's so true. But what's great about women's daytime talk shows is that when men actually do go on, they behave so much differently than they do on other shows, and we learn something new about them that we wouldn't have otherwise known. For instance, William Shatner is a huge Oprah fan, and looks to Dr. Oz's advice on poop shape. And we learned that presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee—who bonded with Tyra over food issues—doesn't like carrots. Hmm, interesting. Maybe 'cause it's phallus shaped and he doesn't want to put it in his mouth because God did not intend for that type of union? Anyway, all that and weaves in the clip above and more after the jump. More »
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By Slut MachineComment by thebeerbitch: @The Authority: Sorry. Too gross for this website? You'd find it funnier if you knew her. She's the most... more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
What The Ladies Are Talking About: Abortions, Boobs, And Eating Squirrel Meat
The past week of lady talk shows was pretty grim, and not the wacky romp of group vagina smiles or porn convos that we've grown used to. (For example Oprah had an episode all about a woman whose husband offed himself and left her a million dollars in debt on purpose, just to be a jerk.) Tyra had an episode dedicated to teen pregnancy, but she took the Juno route, where abortion was mentioned, but not at all explored. In the clip above, watch as a group of teen girls discuss pregnancy without actually discussing sex or exploring its other consequences. But at least we can always count on Barbara Walters and the girls at The View to bail us out of infuriating conversations with the best sound bites!
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By Slut MachineComment by BeachLover: @spryte: Mandatory Norplant like Birth Control for every teenager. MandaFuckAntory! How many of those stupid, stupid girls do you think... more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Whoopi Goldberg Totally Hates Her Co-Hosts On The View
Oprah was kinda serious all week, with her quitting smoking campaign, MLK Day special, and adult children of divorce episodes. So for this week's Lady Bunch, the focus will be on Tyra (duh), and Whoopi Goldberg's increasing disdain for her View co-hosts. Clip above, and, as always, lots more after the jump. More »
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By Slut MachineComment by PoisonPixie: Pubes growing out of her belly-button. I am ruined for life! more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
"The '60's, for those of us who can remember it — I mean, it was such a defining year. I made a list of some of the things that were going on then for the young people: The Vietnam War protests, the Kennedy assassination, Martin Luther King's murder, Civil Rights movement, women's liberation — so much happened..." This was Barbara Walters on The View today, Tom Brokaw's latest book, The Boom!. Um, anyone got any ideas for us as to why Walters would have described Kennedy's death as an assassination and King's as a murder? [The View]
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By JenniferComment by rosasparks looks like a Fraggle: oops my sentence structure failed me. that a greater plan to eliminate that person was at play. sorry. more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Sherri Shepherd Doesn't Think Patti LaBelle Is Black Enough
So today is "Blue Monday," supposedly the most depressing day of the year. And it would seem that way with the shit we've posted on Jezebel today. Between abortions, anorexia, and female genital mutilation, maybe it's about time we laughed at something this afternoon. And why not have that something be Sherri Shepherd? Did you know that on The View, she actually referred to someone as "the black Patti LaBelle"? I can't even begin to fathom why she would even say something like that. I mean, it's not like Patti LaBelle is known for playing up to a white audience. It's so bizarre. Anyway Oprah, The View, and Tyra are all back from hiatus and back into the swing of things. And when I say "the swing of things" I mean "talking about sex and vaginas." Clip above, and a deeper look at Tyra's "historic" interview with Hillary Clinton after the jump. More »
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By Slut MachineComment by Incognegro big tings a gwan: oh. but i loves the picture of her...she looks insane...interesting. more » | Other threads
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By Slut MachineComment by tinywillow: poor Joanie...look at what Tyra has done to her. Now she's modeling wigs from the love boat. more » | Other threads
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By Slut MachineComment by Imogen Quest (was Percy Bishounen Shelley): @ohdnotthoreau: Those cavemen hanging out with the dinosaurs at the Creation Museum were Christians, didn't you know? more » | Other threads
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By Slut MachineComment by Madeline: Kimora's vagina armpits are bad, but I think her fat sausage neck is worse. Seriously, I didn't know it was... more » | Other threads
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By Slut MachineComment by AnastasiaBeaverhousen: The Lady Bunch posts get better and better... =) more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
The Best Of The 'Bunch'
1. Oprah Asks: "What Shape Should Your Poop Be?" This was our first one, so it holds a special place in our hearts. Also, we find out that Oprah loves two things (besides Gayle): #1 Talking about poop, #2 Tequila! 2. Barbara Walters Is Obsessed With Porn Babs was so sexual this week. More than normal, we mean. 3. Oprah Winfrey Once Lost A Tampon This was a great week for The View because Judge Judy joined them. And she brought pictures of the cruise she went on with B. Dub and Cindy Adams. It made us wish we were 70-year-old media types so we could go on vacation with them. 4. We Never Tire of Tyra All of our favorite clips of Tyra from her second season. 5. Asswipe Terrence Howard Gets Serenaded By Tyra Banks All-Terrence Howard edition. Watch and make up your own mind about how much of a butt bag this guy is.
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By Slut MachineComment by AnastasiaBeaverhousen: I love the Lady Bunch! Thanks ladies! more » | Other threads
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By Slut MachineComment by ehkca: That picture of Sherri Shepherd on the Lady Bunch header there always makes me giggle. Always. Did I hear Tyra getting... 1 Responses | Other threads
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By TracieComment by ZippyTortoise: @lolly71: I thought so, too, but I'm glad to get an official geek pardon. ;) more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by pufflehuff: Sorry, here: [www.guardian.co.uk],,2185811,00.html more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by The Unicorn: @broad: I never got mine either! & I totally forgot about it until this post. clearly, it's a scam. more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by Trixie from Toronto: This is a Slut Machine Hall of Famer. more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by speaksoapcube: She's crazy. And rich. But I still don't think I'd want the money if I had to be that insane. more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by sassypants: I seriously don't know who the bigger asshat is here. I had to turn the sound off. Awful. more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Barbara Walters Always Has Sex On The Brain
So, if you didn't already know, The View is on vacation all through August and Oprah and Tyra are in reruns too. I mean, I still watch the shows everyday as a form of methadone for my addiction, but I'm really missing the incomparable high of new episodes. Particularly, my days are a little darker without B. Dub and her daily, graphic, pre-noon sex talks. Seriously, leave it to the 77-year-old to put the "hot" in "hot topics." So I assembled a sexed up clip of the best of Babs gab. And after the jump, I recommend sex toys for all The View ladies. More »
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By TracieComment by Trixie from Toronto: Barbara is one horny old lady, and apparently a bit of a slut as well. Since I am in the... more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
We Never Tire of Tyra
The View (who promised us they'd be live all summer) are on hiatus for the entire month of August (not to mention two weeks in June). Those bitches! I really miss them. Oprah's off being philanthropic and having "s"-shaped poops somewhere, while Tyra has been filming new episodes in NYC, which will begin airing on September 10, exactly one month from today! More » -
the lady bunch
Oprah Smelt It, Denies She Dealt It
Due to some technical difficulties on Friday, The Lady Bunch was regrettably delayed, but much like getting our periods, it's better late than never. Last week was the breast week ever, thus far. Sheri Shepherd's gave The View a whole new meaning with the generous display of her long cleavage, which seemed to really rev up Barbara Walters. Tyra got two handfuls of Katharine McPhee, and then pondered how much she should insure her own breasts (she reckons $2 mil for the set). She typically reserves that much airtime for discussing weaves. Also, Oprah—selected by Forbes as the most powerful celeb in Hollywood—had a show dedicated to answering all the burning questions she's had over the years. What was at the top of the list? Poop. For real. In related news, she admits she farts, then blames it on other people! After the jump, recaps on the best moments of the past week in girl talk. More »
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By TracieComment by krylonultraflat: It's called a digester because that's nicer sounding than "fermenter." Basically the poo sits in there until the bacteria in... more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Tyra Banks' Bad British Accent, Unintentional Backflip
This week the ladies engaged in the sort of conversations that make men cringe and leave the room, like tales from the gynecologist's office and incessant worry about weight. But that's fine with me, because I love hearing about all 161 of Tyra's pounds and I could listen to Joy Behar talk about getting surly in the stirrups all the live long day. In this week's 'Lady Bunch', watch as Barbara Walters brags about being skinny, Oprah calls out an audience member on a back-handed compliment, and Tyra falls backward off her couch. The latter might be the best five seconds of daytime TV ever. After the jump, more recaps on the girlie gab fests. More »
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By TracieComment by BiscuitDoughJones: @ytrozs: I do love the Cure. I just don't want to look like them. more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Elisabeth Hasselbeck Threatens To Flash Barbara Walters
I've been saving a lot of money on sunscreen this summer by watching so much daytime TV. So what if Oprah and Tyra have been reruns? They still have me talking to the TV, even though it might be stuff I already said to it earlier this season. This week for The Lady Bunch, Tyra cements her fag haggotry by cozying up with Clay Aiken; Ross the Intern and Paula Abdul both take turns in the guest co-host seat on The View; and Oprah can admit when she's wrong—when it comes to her wig choices. After the jump, more on this week's shows. More »
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By TracieComment by hammergirly: By younger brother roomed with Ross their freshman year in College. VERY sweet boy. I'll never forget their voice mail... more » | Other threads
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the lady bunch
Joy Behar Is Horny For Rhino Love
The View is back! The View is back! I couldn't be more excited. Pass me the Astroglide, because I think I just grew a dick and I wanna stick it in a man's anus—that's how wonderfully gay the lineup was all week on our favorite morning gab fest. Joan Rivers! Jackie Collins! Mary Tyler Moore! Mario Cantone! Plus, Oprah had on a large Catholic family in which four of the six children grew up to be gay, and then of course, there's Tyra, who's really just a big ol' drag queen living in the body of a walking weave. After the jump, recaps on this week's episodes. More » -
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By TracieComment by RainbowBrite: OMG TOPANGA! I wanted her hair SO bad. I also wanted to make out with Ryder Strong and would actually... more » | Other threads
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By TracieComment by evangeline: Oprah was so funny and cute in the clip. I think she should make a baby with Nate. Nate could... more » | Other threads
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By MoeComment by nacho_supreme: Was that TOPANGA from Boy Meets World in the "do you like your bootie" segment? Fuck! more » | Other threads
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By AnnaComment by PhillyLass: Barbara gave the hookers hope for what, exactly? more » | Other threads
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By AnnaComment by evangeline: i wish one entire episode of oprah was as entertaining as this mash-up. more » | Other threads
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