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the lady bunch
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The Lady Bunch
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the lady bunch
the lady bunch
What The Ladies Are Talking About: Abortions, Boobs, And Eating Squirrel Meat
The past week of lady talk shows was pretty grim, and not the wacky romp of group vagina smiles or porn convos that we've grown used to. (For example Oprah had an episode all about a woman whose husband offed himself and left her a million dollars in debt on purpose, just to be a jerk.) Tyra had an episode dedicated to teen pregnancy, but she took the Juno route, where abortion was mentioned, but not at all explored. In the clip above, watch as a group of teen girls discuss pregnancy without actually discussing sex or exploring its other consequences. But at least we can always count on Barbara Walters and the girls at The View to bail us out of infuriating conversations with the best sound bites!
the lady bunch
Whoopi Goldberg Totally Hates Her Co-Hosts On The View
Oprah was kinda serious all week, with her quitting smoking campaign, MLK Day special, and adult children of divorce episodes. So for this week's Lady Bunch, the focus will be on Tyra (duh), and Whoopi Goldberg's increasing disdain for her View co-hosts. Clip above, and, as always, lots more after the jump. More »
"The '60's, for those of us who can remember it — I mean, it was such a defining year. I made a list of some of the things that were going on then for the young people: The Vietnam War protests, the Kennedy assassination, Martin Luther King's murder, Civil Rights movement, women's liberation — so much happened..." This was Barbara Walters on The View today, Tom Brokaw's latest book, The Boom!. Um, anyone got any ideas for us as to why Walters would have described Kennedy's death as an assassination and King's as a murder? [The View]
the lady bunch
Sherri Shepherd Doesn't Think Patti LaBelle Is Black Enough
So today is "Blue Monday," supposedly the most depressing day of the year. And it would seem that way with the shit we've posted on Jezebel today. Between abortions, anorexia, and female genital mutilation, maybe it's about time we laughed at something this afternoon. And why not have that something be Sherri Shepherd? Did you know that on The View, she actually referred to someone as "the black Patti LaBelle"? I can't even begin to fathom why she would even say something like that. I mean, it's not like Patti LaBelle is known for playing up to a white audience. It's so bizarre. Anyway Oprah, The View, and Tyra are all back from hiatus and back into the swing of things. And when I say "the swing of things" I mean "talking about sex and vaginas." Clip above, and a deeper look at Tyra's "historic" interview with Hillary Clinton after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
The Best Of Weaves And Wigs, 2007
This week for The Lady Bunch, let's take a look back at the role that synthetic hair has played for our favorite lady talk shows in 2007. If it weren't for Tyra Banks, would America know as much about weaves as we now do? She loves weaves, loves talking about weaves, loves giving weaves, and we wouldn't be surprised — if they were coated in the right amount of rib sauce — that'd she'd like to suck on 'em too. And thanks to a very special segment of The View, Sherri Shepherd taught us everything we didn't need to know about weaves, and never bothered to ask. Clip above, more hair after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
Tyra Banks Gives Bow Wow A Creepy Sex Talk
Tyra might actually be suffering from the writers' strike because she only had one new episode last week. However, she's been known to be a scab before. During the last strike, she decided to go on with ANTM without writers. But the one new episode she did manage to air last week was sort of wonderfully disgusting: She asked Eve, Dita Von Teese, Bow Wow and Omarion questions about sex, and then had Bow Wow sit on her lap while she gave him a truly bizarre sex talk that led me to wonder if she's ever actually had sex at all. Oprah on the other hand, had an interesting week — very enlightening discussions with Dr. Oz about bikini waxes, kegel exercises and douching — and as for The View, well, Sherri Shepherd is an idiot asshole. Clip of Tyra/Oprah above, and more on Sherri after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
Tyra Banks: "The One Thing That I'm Jealous Of... Is That You Guys Don't Have Cellulite"
The girls all pretty much got back into the swing of things after some time off for Thanksgiving. Joan Rivers joined the ladies of The View to discuss plastic surgery and dirty jokes, Paula Dean danced for cheese and bacon with Oprah, and Tyra related to a group of transsexuals — you know, all the usual stuff. But of course, Tyra was the standout this week, particularly when she freestyled some sort of poem to (at?) Alicia Keys. I think the damages I've suffered from secondhand embarrassment for Tyra Banks are more corrosive than those I've suffered from secondhand smoke after living with my mother the chimney for 18 years. Clip above, and more embarrassment after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
Tyra Banks Goes "Undercover" By Not Wearing Weave, Makeup
With the Thanksgiving holiday last week, there weren't too many new episodes of the lady talk shows, but somehow Tyra Banks still managed to pull it off. She had two pretty magnificent episodes: One was about the relationship between sex and race, and the other was an "experiment" on inner beauty. The experiment involved Tyra giving some "ugly" girls a makeover and then took those girls' "pretty" friends, put prosthetic noses and warts on their faces and then took them to the mall. That's it. Absolutely fucking brilliant though. Oprah of course had her Favorite Things, which we loved. And then The View delivered one of my favorite things to happen on daytime TV: Barbara Walters explained the idea of vibrators to Sherri Shepherd. Clip above, and after the jump, take a look at the show topics that Tyra has planned for the rest of the season, and see if you wanna be on one of them. More »
The Best Of The 'Bunch'
1. Oprah Asks: "What Shape Should Your Poop Be?" This was our first one, so it holds a special place in our hearts. Also, we find out that Oprah loves two things (besides Gayle): #1 Talking about poop, #2 Tequila! 2. Barbara Walters Is Obsessed With Porn Babs was so sexual this week. More than normal, we mean. 3. Oprah Winfrey Once Lost A Tampon This was a great week for The View because Judge Judy joined them. And she brought pictures of the cruise she went on with B. Dub and Cindy Adams. It made us wish we were 70-year-old media types so we could go on vacation with them. 4. We Never Tire of Tyra All of our favorite clips of Tyra from her second season. 5. Asswipe Terrence Howard Gets Serenaded By Tyra Banks All-Terrence Howard edition. Watch and make up your own mind about how much of a butt bag this guy is.
1. Oprah Asks: "What Shape Should Your Poop Be?" This was our first one, so it holds a special place in our hearts. Also, we find out that Oprah loves two things (besides Gayle): #1 Talking about poop, #2 Tequila! 2. Barbara Walters Is Obsessed With Porn Babs was so sexual this week. More than normal, we mean. 3. Oprah Winfrey Once Lost A Tampon This was a great week for The View because Judge Judy joined them. And she brought pictures of the cruise she went on with B. Dub and Cindy Adams. It made us wish we were 70-year-old media types so we could go on vacation with them. 4. We Never Tire of Tyra All of our favorite clips of Tyra from her second season. 5. Asswipe Terrence Howard Gets Serenaded By Tyra Banks All-Terrence Howard edition. Watch and make up your own mind about how much of a butt bag this guy is.
the lady bunch
Tyra Banks Helps Men Be The Best Date Rapists They Can Be
Tyra was extra awesome last week, with episodes about bisexuality, an entire hour acting the fool in front of Chris Brown, the obligatory weekly episode about weight obsession, and a discourse between teens and parents about sex. But my personal favorite was when Tyra went undercover to expose the dangers of dating, with Tyra talking through a microphone into the ear piece of an actor she hired to be the date rapist. Except, instead of the show being like, "Look! It's so easy to get date raped," it was more, "Look! It's so easy to date rape!" Seriously, it was like a how-to for aspiring rape artists. Oprah had Celine Dion on as a guest, but better still was the two-part episode about the family of hoarders who can't walk through their 3,600 sq. ft. home anymore because of the clutter. Oh, and The View had some excitement last week as well: Sherri Shepherd showed up with cornrows! Clip above and pictures and cheap shots after the jump! More »
the lady bunch
Teri Hatcher: "I'll Go Out With Damon Wayans! I Know How To Cook!"
The talk shows were sort of all over the place this week. Oprah had on the thousands of members of the Osmond family, rape victims, and age-appropriate fashion, while The View welcomed Damon Wayans on the couch, where the girls realized he's a chauvinist pig, only to have Teri Hatcher reveal the next day that she can totally get down with that. Talk about putting the "desperate" in Desperate Housewives. Sheesh! But of course, the highlight of the talk show week for me was Tyra's "Vagina Dialogues," not necessarily because some Jezebel staffers were in the studio audience (but, duh, it does play a part in my interest), but really because that episode was like clip-show heaven. But another great moment in useless TV was Tyra's first makeover episode of the season. You know what that means...weaves! Get a gander after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
Barbara Walters: "Call Me Gay, But I Think Sarah Jessica Parker Is Adorable"
Babs was so much fun on The View this week, with her Halloween costume, her vagina vs. vajayjay discussion and her robot dance, but we all know that you're not really a good time girl unless you get a little lezzie with your friends, which is what she did. Well, you know, not literally (although, that be a ratings boost for sweeps), but she kept talking about women whom she finds sexy. Meanwhile, Tyra did her damnedest to make women feel unsexy, by stuffing guests into unflattering nude suits and telling them to judge each other. Meanwhile, Oprah was too educational for the normal retardation of The Lady Bunch, as Dr. Oz and Suze Orman filled up three of the five hours of her show this week. After the jump, screen shots, fat slobs, and Ethan Hawke, oh my! More »
the lady bunch
Heidi Klum Tells Oprah About Seal's Giant Black Cock
I've come to realize that there are six basic elements upon which all the lady talk shows are based: food, sex, gay men, crazies, Joy Behar's vagina, and Tyra's weave. Oddly, I'm not deterred by any of these, and in fact, I find them really engaging. This week, Tyra and The View both had Lance Bass on their couches to promote his book Out of Sync, his story about coming out of the closet as a gay man. Tyra was the only one with the balls to ask him if he had a crush on her. It's like, "Duh, Tyra. He said he likes dudes not...drag queens." Heidi Klum and Seal went on Oprah to discuss how perfect their lives are. Oprah asked them when they first knew they were in love and Heidi said she knew the minute she met him—because he was wearing bicycle shorts and she could see how big his dick was. No joke. After the jump, crazy people! More »
the lady bunch
Is Tyra Banks A Lesbian?
Gay! Gay! Gay! The lady talk shows were much more flamboyant this week, and I don't mean because Tyra wore a feathered headdress (which she did, in fact, do) or because Susan Lucci went on The View in a nightie and a trench coat. No, this time the gayness wasn't just implied, it was specified. Oprah interviewed gay transgendered people (as in, a man turned into a woman and became lesbian), The View ladies debated about whether or not homosexuality is a choice, and Tyra, well, you know how she do — but she also had an entire episode about genetic indicators of sexual preference. Oh, and Bill Cosby showed up on Oprah to discuss the plight of low-income African Americans, but it was kinda hard to take him seriously, because he was wearing sunglasses the whole time, due to a bout of pink eye. The clip is above, and after the jump, so much more. More »
the lady bunch
Whoopi Makes Funny Faces, Tyra Thinks You're A Geek
Whoopi is finally getting the hang of moderating The View, and she's really getting comfortable. It's not so much what she says everyday, but rather, the faces she makes in response to what the other ladies are saying that has made me fall in love with The View all over again. But I'm not on such great terms with Oprah. She was highly unclip-able this week, even though the topics of her episodes were pretty interesting, like Jessica Seinfeld's new cookbook and Alexis Stewart's fertility struggles. And then there's Tyra. She had a somewhat infuriating discussion on pornography (although not as anti as her past episodes have been), a relatively long and boring interview with Melissa Etheridge, and then an episode all about male geeks. She also provided a quiz for viewers at home, to find out if you're a geek. Check out how you measure up, after the jump. More »
the lady bunch
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: "People Get Abortions For Superficial Reasons"
There aren't too many things that shock me on daytime TV, at least with regards to discussion of the human body. Between Joy Behar's detailed descriptions of gynecologists visits, Whoopi's vagina spasms, Tyra's farting policy, and Oprah's fecal-shape obsession, I thought I'd heard it all — but I was wrong. This week on a very special episode of Oprah, Dr. Oz and an all-male studio audience had a Q&A session. What did the boys discuss? Smegma! And they man-handled some testicles! On The View, there was a different kind of dick: Elisabeth Hasselbeck. She felt the need to bust into an abortion debate in the middle of a discussion on public assistance. Clips above, and after the jump, the other panel members' faces in response to what she was saying. More »
the lady bunch
Tyra Banks Holds In Her Farts Around Her Boyfriends
Life is pretty awesome now that all the shows are back. And even though I'm fighting with Tyra right now (in my mind, anyway) I still find her to be the most clipable girl on daytime TV. I found it incredibly ironic that she aired a show on manners and etiquette the same day we discovered how unapproachable and unlikeable she is in person. After the jump, take a look at the crappy swag she gave us. More »
