The Cosmos - Jezebel

posts about #thecosmos more →
Fun, Fearless, Female
November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Cosmo: Powerful Women Use Their Vaginas, Not Their Voices
Cosmo: Wear Your Dirty Panties Around Your Ponytail
Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
Cosmo's "Sexy Issue" Does Helen Gurley Brown Proud
Cosmo's Helen Gurley Brown: Does A Feminist Icon Please Her Man?
10 Things We Wish Guys Knew We Know
Cosmo Thinks Of Things You Would Never Think Of By Yourself
Cosmo Turns Vamp Into Victim

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

ErinGoBawl
10/23/09

In reply to Fun, Fearless, Female
I like to imagine that Jennifer now has a picture of the entire Jezebel staff huddling behind a camera. They're discussing creative titles and running them by Anna, who is opening her laptop. They are all incognito in big sunglasses and looking like a Carmen Sandiego. #jenniferhudson
Reply

lisas promoted this comment ErinGoBawl was starred ErinGoBawl was unstarred

lisas
10/23/09

@ErinGoBawl: Carmen was always reliably stylish in her trench, hat, and oversize glasses.

I'd love to see a celebrity-created photo-essay of what it looks like, being followed by a flock of photographers. Whenever I see a photo where you can see the crowd of them I always get sympathy anxiety. Also I think it would be eye-opening. #jenniferhudson
Reply

lisas was starred lisas was unstarred

Superrrdupa
10/23/09

In reply to Fun, Fearless, Female
Jennifer - may I call you Jennifer? Fine, fine, Miss Hudson if I'm nasty.

WHERE do you get jeans like this? There are no jeans in the world that actually fit curvy women without creating rolls that were never there in the first place. Please share your magic, oh curvy one. #jenniferhudson
Reply

futuremouse promoted this comment Superrrdupa was starred Superrrdupa was unstarred

andheartss haz it
10/23/09

@Superrrdupa: Seriously...jeans that sit nicely on the waist, hug the hips perfectly AND don't become big and baggy from the knees down?

That. I need it. #jenniferhudson
Reply

futuremouse promoted this comment andheartss haz it was starred

lisas
10/23/09

@andheartss haz it: I have a pair of "curvy" levis and they fit the bill - no spillage over a too-tight too-low waistband (which is the fault of the GARMENT not the BODY WEARING IT *coughpetpeevecough*), sit comfortably on my thighs, flattering on my calf (I am picky about this as I have excellent calves and want everyone to know it).

She looks amazing in this picture. Whatta babe. #jenniferhudson
Reply

lisas was starred lisas was unstarred

Hana Maru
10/21/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Men fucking love to cuddle. They can't get enough of it. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Hana Maru was starred Hana Maru was unstarred

CherriSpryte
10/21/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
I read "Touch his most uncomfortable spots: Hint: These tips rhyme with numb" and spent several seconds thinking "wait, thumbs are sexy now? that's a thing? WHAT am I supposed to do with his thumb?"
Then I realized you meant the tips were dumb, not that hot thumb action was all the rage. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

CherriSpryte was starred CherriSpryte was unstarred

Dorilys
10/21/09

@CherriSpryte: I had the same thought. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Dorilys was starred Dorilys was unstarred

sarasasa
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
May I suggest a drinking a drinking game? Buy a copy of Cosmo, open a sex article and have a drink after every euphemism for the words "Penis" and "Orgasm". Two for "The Big Oh". #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Cesybabe or Nirvanah Crane promoted this comment sarasasa was starred sarasasa was unstarred

Aidan_
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Bondage where I can get away? Fie, I say! My girlfriend keeps me bound up until she's good and ready to let go. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Aidan_ was starred Aidan_ was unstarred

Snowbunny
10/20/09

@Aidan_: And, thus, the point!

Where is the excitement when you are in no danger of being abandoned for hours at a time if the bonder suddenly dies? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred

geekgirlliz
10/20/09

@Aidan_: Yeah! What you said!

Besides which, any struggling with a slip-knot and you might compress nerves, lose circulation etc. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Aidan_ promoted this comment geekgirlliz was starred geekgirlliz was unstarred

geekgirlliz
10/20/09

@Snowbunny: It's actually pretty hard to tie people in such a way that they really can't escape in an emergency. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Aidan_ promoted this comment geekgirlliz was starred geekgirlliz was unstarred

aimeeg
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
I think there's some pretty strange photoshop colouring going on in her breastal area... they've made her chest look very white and her breasts look a lot darker... #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Katxyz promoted this comment aimeeg was starred aimeeg was unstarred

Katxyz
10/20/09

@aimeeg:

Shading on top and into the center makes your breasts look larger. You can even buy makeup bronzing kits with instructions.

Victoria's Secret makes all of its models breasts about 10 shades darker in every photo. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Katxyz was starred Katxyz was unstarred

aimeeg
10/21/09

@Katxyz: Is there a make up trick to make them look smaller? *sad face #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

aimeeg was starred aimeeg was unstarred

Mushu_the_educated_whale
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Guys don't like push up bras eh Cosmo?
I am a waitress and I did a little social experiment. 2 nights in a row I worked the same (extremely busy) shift/section. Night #1 I wore a concert t-shirt and a sports bra. Night #2 I wore a push up bra and a low cut pink shirt.

I made almost 3x as much in tips on night #2 and I did almost the exact same amount of sales.

Why lie Cosmo?! WHY!?!?

I just don't get it. How does making women feel bad about themselves sell magazines? How do the people who are responsible for this sleep at night? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Cesybabe or Nirvanah Crane promoted this comment MissNormaDesmond approved this comment

freckles
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
It's always a story about how men are bored with women and how we need to transform ourselves into desirable beings. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and yeah, we've been there done that with each other, so every time we have sex it's not all "OMG, your hot naked body!" but we're both still turned on and excited by each other. I'm sure he's not having a cathartic experience every time I'm naked in front of him now, just as I'm not having one when he's naked in front of me. Cosmo makes it seems like it's something women should be fearful of, like, "My fiance doesn't love my naked body anymore" ::sob::. Fuck you Cosmo, it's a natural part of a relationship to get comfortable and familiar with one another, and not bored, but just craving some creativity and change. That's when the fun begins! Cosmo just needs to pull at women's insecurities to sell magazines. Also, not only do men look at porn to satisfy their need for variety, but guess what world, so do women. I think Jezebel had a story on that a few days ago.
Reply

MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment Edited by freckles at 10/20/09 4:43 PM freckles was starred freckles was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
10/20/09

@freckles: But if you're not freaked out about your inadequacies, you won't need to read a magazine about how to fix them, or buy products that will camouflage them. Get with the program. It's trickle-down self-hatred, and it's what makes this country run. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

MissNormaDesmond was starred MissNormaDesmond was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
10/20/09

@MissNormaDesmond: Crap. This was meant to be a response to the next comment up. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

MissNormaDesmond was starred MissNormaDesmond was unstarred

tigolbitties
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims

just saying, guys do not instantly notice fake lashes, hair or boobs - or at least lets hope not for kim zolciak's sake! #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred

winner
10/20/09

@tigolbitties: Hahaha! My boyfriend and his best friend are repulsed by her and are unnaturally vocal about it. I mean, it's the Housewives and if they've taught us anything, it's that there is no limit to the amount of silicone, saline or botox one can put in their body. Also, "rich" people get evicted, too. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

tigolbitties promoted this comment winner was starred winner was unstarred

ImperfectLit.Woman
10/20/09

@tigolbitties: that's funny and should I be worried that I love that dress she has on? My brothers are repulsed by all the women in the Housewives franchise and can't see why any men would be with them. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

ImperfectLit.Woman was starred

cand86
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Okay, it's always nice when a little bit of kink works its way into the narrative, even if it is in Cosmo.

But what kills me is the lack of any safety . . . like the fact that thin scarves are HORRIBLE for bondage, if not downright dangerous. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 was starred cand86 was unstarred

Liz668
10/20/09

@cand86: why are they dangerous? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment Liz668 was starred Liz668 was unstarred

RiloKilo
10/20/09

@cand86: Not to be argumentative, but how are they dangerous? At least in the picture, it looks like the man is tied to a bed by the wrists while laying on his back... I don't really see what could happen. Maybe if you were hanging from the ceiling or by your neck or something? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment RiloKilo was starred RiloKilo was unstarred

elliebean
10/20/09

@RiloKilo: I think the reason scarves are dangerous (as compared to, say rope) is due to the fact that they can cut off circulation more easily, or slip more easily if not tied correctly. Rope is thicker and can be tied tightly without cutting off circulation. It's mainly dangerous to use scarves if the person tying them doesn't know to check for signs of damage. Thicker, not satiny scarves are safer. I think it might have been wise for cosmo to put in a little box explaining how to check for damage (blue skin, deep indents in skin etc.), if they didn't already. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment elliebean was starred elliebean was unstarred

elliebean
10/20/09

@elliebean: I don't see my edit thing, but I should add that all bondage is dangerous if the right precautions aren't taken. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment elliebean was starred elliebean was unstarred

Cynical Media Bitch
10/20/09

@RiloKilo: @Liz668: Thin materials make for knots that are difficult to untie, and they are quite effective at interrupting circulation which can lead to nerve damage.

Safe bondage hints can be found here:
[www.thepeeq.com]

and here:
[www.eyerawk.com]

It's all fun and games until someone loses use of a limb, people. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment

femme-bot
10/20/09

@elliebean: Are ties dangerous? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment femme-bot was starred femme-bot was unstarred

elliebean
10/20/09

@femme-bot: See the response right above you, those links are great.
In my opinion, anything can be dangerous if you aren't watching for signs of damage, or if you ignore the person who is tied up (a complaint related to numbness, tingling, discomfort). If you're the one tied up, saying something is a good idea if you feel tingly or numb anywhere. And having a pair of scissors on hand is a must. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment elliebean was starred elliebean was unstarred

femme-bot
10/20/09

@femme-bot: Or belts?
EDIT BUTTON?! #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment femme-bot was starred femme-bot was unstarred

RiloKilo
10/20/09

@elliebean: Ah, I see. Thanks! #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment RiloKilo was starred RiloKilo was unstarred

femme-bot
10/20/09

@Cynical Media Bitch: Oooh, those are handy! Thanks! #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment femme-bot was starred femme-bot was unstarred

elliebean
10/20/09

@femme-bot: I know! I can't see mine either! Where's my pencil? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment elliebean was starred elliebean was unstarred

lurkerbynature
10/20/09

@cand86: This. And a slip-knot? Hi. I like my blood circulating, thank you very much. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment lurkerbynature was starred lurkerbynature was unstarred

Melpomene
10/20/09

@elliebean: But suggesting safety tips takes all of the (*gasp*) spontaneity from sex. You might actually have to plan and buy rope ahead of time!

Silk scarves and neckties are also a really bad idea in that someone might be hesitant to cut them ... and, if you're an amateur at tying knots, you're more likely to need to cut the other one out.

Though, proper bondage is one of the best places to put all that Scouting knowledge of knots to work. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment Melpomene was starred Melpomene was unstarred

Faster.Pussycat
10/20/09

@cand86: Handcuffs, kids, invest in some handcuffs. Invest in those fake fur covers that go over the handcuffs, too. Uh, I mean, I've heard. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

cand86 promoted this comment Faster.Pussycat was starred Faster.Pussycat was unstarred

Scoithniamh
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Wait, what? They're actually claiming that Red Bull Vodkas can KILL YOU? #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Scoithniamh was starred Scoithniamh was unstarred

Sputnik_Sweetheart
10/20/09

@Scoithniamh: It's Red Bull Vodka in the library with a lead pipe! #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred

BetteD
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Red Bull and vodka. As a bartender, I have to say that this is the mark of a true amateur. Or, if it's a guy, a douchenozzle. I had a very attractive and potentially promising guy come into the bar this weekend, and he ordered a bubblegum vodka and red bull. Aaaand bam! Unattractive. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

BetteD was starred BetteD was unstarred

artyfarty
10/20/09

@BetteD: My two year old son would order a better drink than that. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

BetteD promoted this comment artyfarty was starred artyfarty was unstarred

soykatrina
10/20/09

@BetteD: Can you please tell this to my friends? I've been preaching this for years and they keep telling me I'm out of touch with reality since I've been in a relationship for 4 years. Ladies, a douche is a douche and you don't have to be single to see it. Vodka and red bull as a favorite drink is a clear sign. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

BetteD promoted this comment soykatrina was starred soykatrina was unstarred

Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face!
10/20/09

@BetteD: I tend to order it when I need something that'll keep me awake whilst getting me drunk. Is there a better combo for that when I can't get Irish coffee?

I hate ordering it, but some needs I just hit a wall where I need a red bull. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

BetteD promoted this comment

BetteD
10/20/09

@Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face!: You get an awesomeness pass. I will make an official badge so you're never looked down upon by a bartender. :) #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

BetteD was starred BetteD was unstarred

Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face!
10/20/09

@BetteD: To be fair, my MO is a pint of stella (if they have it on tap) and a shot of jameson. So by the time I get around to red bull they know I mean business. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

i'm a bottle
10/21/09

@Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face!: Jameson and Stella, that's class epitomized. Once you order that you can pretty much take free rein of the bar.

Now, as per the vodka and Red Bull: My suggestion is to replace the Red Bull with plain old coffee. It tastes better, and drinking it on days that you're drinking actually protects against alcohol-related liver damage. It's a win-win situation, it tastes better, it's less expensive, it's healthier and it's a classic.
Reply

Edited by i'm a bottle at 10/21/09 2:58 AM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred

rodmanstreet
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Goddammit - I didn't even read this Cosmo and it's making me feel bad about myself! Ugh. I'm gonna go take a shower and yell at my thighs. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

morninggloria promoted this comment rodmanstreet was starred rodmanstreet was unstarred

ImperfectLit.Woman
10/20/09

@rodmanstreet: Better yet, just skip the shower. Water will make you fat you know unless you're showering with a man.;) #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

ImperfectLit.Woman was starred

frankie22
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
I interned at Cosmo (not the US version) long ago. Their tasks for me included:

1. List every slang-term for oral sex I could find for the 'fellatio special'.
2. Email my guy friends for their opinions on hair/body fat/sex positions.
3. Find 'interesting' quotes from Josh Hartnett
4. Tell the lifestyle editor what I do when I'm on the rag and I don't have a tampon. (My name and picture was included in that story)

It was hilarious and sort of fun for about a month, but then I felt kind of weird and dirty, and so I found another internship. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

Zombie Ms. Skittles promoted this comment frankie22 was starred frankie22 was unstarred

Zombie Ms. Skittles
10/20/09

@frankie22: You know, I never stopped to consider that a Cosmo internship would probably include prodigious use of UrbanDictionary, but it does make sense... #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

bowleserised
10/20/09

@frankie22: The trouble is, you know that if you'd raided Viz' Profanosaurus they wouldn't have had the balls to publish those. Not ladylike, those. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

bowleserised was starred bowleserised was unstarred

aimeeg
10/20/09

@bowleserised: My favourite entry from the Viz profanisaurus: Clam Jousting - A fanular encounter between to women afflicted with lesbism.

... It shouldn't amuse me, but it does. #november09cosmopolitan
Reply

bowleserised promoted this comment aimeeg was starred aimeeg was unstarred

Earlier threads | All threads | Show hidden threads | Show featured threads only | Start a new discussion