The Canyons Is a Five Hour Slow-Motion Reel of White Dudes Jacking Off

Right up front, I want to make it clear that I was rooting for The Canyons. I want Lohan to be okay! James Deen is compelling, as human beings go! Paul Schrader! Taxi Driver! Bret Easton Eeuuuuugghhhh...uhhhmmm...a fourth thing! So it is with no preconceived grudge whatsoever that I must inform you that… »8/05/13 3:40pm8/05/13 3:40pm

Rejoice, for Lindsay Lohan's The Canyons Trailer Has Arrived

Though we've gotten a few glimpses of the torrid love affair between Lindsay Lohan and James Deen in their sure-to-be-a-cult-classic film The Canyons, the latest trailer for the movie prompts me to say that August 2 just cannot come fast enough. Will it better to see it on Video On Demand, in the privacy of your own… »7/11/13 10:00am7/11/13 10:00am

New Details Revealed About Paris Jackson Suicide Attempt

15-year-old Paris Jackson was rushed to the hospital yesterday after leaving a suicide note, taking 20 Motrin and cutting herself with a kitchen knife — according to a Jackson family lawyer, she is "physically fine." Authorities as well as people close to Paris have since clarified that they don't really think she was… »6/06/13 9:00am6/06/13 9:00am

James Deen Diplomatically Explains Lindsay Lohan's Horrid Attitude: 'She Has a Unique Way of Communicating'

Porn star and baby panda James Deen has been talking a lot about his experience shooting The Canyons with Lindsay Lohan, and the more he talks, the more we realize that it was kind of a fucking nightmare, but he had fun, because he's a good sport. And he tries, he really does, to give LL the benefit of the doubt. For… »1/18/13 4:00pm1/18/13 4:00pm

Lady Gaga Wants to Buy Back Neverland Ranch for the Little Jacksons

For Lady Gaga's next trick, she will buy Neverland Ranch and cover it with black vinyl and spikes. Gaga, who has previously purchased 55 pieces of costly Jacko memorabilia, befriended LaToya Jackson and wants to help a "desperate" Paris, Prince and Blanket keep their 3,000-acre childhood home, which was sold to an… »1/16/13 9:00am1/16/13 9:00am

Watch Lindsay Lohan Act Like She Can't Find Her Cell Phone in This Moving Clip From The Canyons

Nope, this is not documentary footage, though one could imagine that, like many of us, Lindsay Lohan often wakes up, bleary-eyed, extensions mussed, and immediately reaches for her iPhone. But since there's a shot of Jezecrush James Deen sleeping peacefully, we know that this is, in fact, a scene from the upcoming… »1/15/13 11:50am1/15/13 11:50am

New Clip from The Canyons Features Lots of Dial Tones, Pacing, and Lindsay Lohan’s Cryface

This clip, which ends with aspiring pornstar-waxing-actor James Deen physically menacing Canyons co-star Lindsay Lohan, would be super-intense and dramatic if it didn't suffer from two really damning flaws: an overabudance of Lindsay Lohan's cryface and too much emoting from James Deen. From this short clip, we can… »1/13/13 2:30pm1/13/13 2:30pm

Three Weeks With Lindsay Lohan or, Why LiLo's a Delusional Asshole Who'll Never Legitimately Work Again

After a disastrous half-decade, 2012 seemed like it could be Lindsay Lohan's year. It wasn't. Why does she keep hitting road bumps (or, in her case, other cars on the Pacific Coast Highway) that hinder her success at being a normal working actress? A lengthy new profile of the three weeks she worked on The Canyons »1/10/13 6:45pm1/10/13 6:45pm

See Lindsay Lohan and James Deen Kiss in the Weird New Trailer for The Canyons

There's a teeny bit of smooching in the Instagrammy new teaser trailer for The Canyons. Also, Bret Easton Ellis is called "Twitter-obsessed," and Paul Schrader is the "never-nominated director." Then there's Nolan Gerard Funk — or perhaps, more accurately, Nolan Gerard Funk's abs and iliac crest. Fun fact: Funk is… »11/13/12 4:20pm11/13/12 4:20pm

Shocker: Lindsay Lohan Forgets to Show Up for Work on The Canyons

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Lindsay Lohan's gotta blow off her obligations on the set of every single movie she's worked on for the last five years. In other words, if you play with fire, fire is probably gonna do drugs and drink Red Bull all night and wake up at 4 PM in a bed at the Four Seasons, trying to… »10/19/12 9:00am10/19/12 9:00am

Watch a New Trailer for The Canyons and Revel in the Sleaze

If you're one of those European-types that showers in the Post Meridian and are still feeling exceptionally grimy after having your blithe weekend soul soiled by yet another degrading Monday spent earning a living in our insidiously capitalistic economy, now would be the perfect time to take a gander at another… »10/08/12 9:45pm10/08/12 9:45pm

Tara Reid Hospitalized In France, The Dude is En Route With Ransom Money For Her Safe Return

It's just been announced that a few days ago Bunny Lebowski was brought to the hospital in Nice, France with a case of acute pancreatitis—and, according to her Twitter, a Jet Ski-related back injury. She will have to remain in the hospital until she's fully recovered, but her condition isn't life-threatening. Up until… »7/21/12 11:30am7/21/12 11:30am

This Is Happening: Lindsay Lohan and James Deen Are Gonna Make a Movie

Lindsay Lohan just got a job. Bret Easton Ellis Tweeted last night that the troubled actor will be joining porn star (and permanent crush of all straight ladydom) James Deen in the cast of The Canyons, the ultra-low-budget indie film Ellis wrote. Paul Schrader, of American Gigolo and Mishima fame, will direct. The… »6/12/12 5:00pm6/12/12 5:00pm