Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
New York, 9:00 AM
Thu Dec 3
63 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
| Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
| Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
| Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
| Twitter
Sadie Stein
| Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
| Twitter
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
| Twitter
Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers
Lizzie Skurnick
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
| Twitter
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
12/01/09
12/01/09
12/01/09
12/01/09
Passed by a vote of 11-2. Should be noted that Marion Barry was a dissenting vote. I will be so happy to see that man disappear from public life.
Now Archdiocese-- don't be assholes and withdraw your social services. The people still need the support you provide.
12/01/09
I believe there was some talk about it when Prop 8 passed but I don't remember whether there was a real discussion about it. Correct me if I am wrong.
12/01/09
12/01/09
12/01/09
[jezebel.com]
12/01/09
"It's not fair to make this one issue a litmus test as to one's commitment to human rights, to justice, and I resent those who would make it a litmus test."
-Marion Barry
12/01/09
11/30/09
11/28/09
I don't know where you found this clip, Anna, but it's great.
11/28/09
It annoys me also because I know, as an outspoken feminist, there are a lot of people who are just waiting for me to show that my ideals are just ideals, that I don't really plan to put them into practice, that I don't really believe women don't need a man. And they're waiting for me to fall head-over-heels for a man and then have a traditional wedding and change my name and all that... and thus, every time I make a goofball out of myself over a guy, I feel like I'm betraying feminism in some way, and I worry it's a bad sign that the anti-feminists I know are right and I'll end up compromising on the big things down the road in the name of "romance."
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
In high school, I decided to put more of an effort into learning how to deal with people better, but I'm beginning to feel like it's futile because I'm never going to get to the level of interacting like a "normal person," and while people who've known me for a while can see how I'm "progressing," every time I start out at a new place - like when I started college last year - it's like I'm starting from scratch. People treat me like a freak again, because I'm still "awkward" and they can't see how, for me, it's such an effort just to get to that level. Plus, when I try hard enough, then I start to get into this ridiculous mindset of "if I could improve my social skills, he/she who doesn't like me now would like me more" when, of course, some people are just jerks and anyone whose friendship you have to "work" to earn probably isn't worthy of friendship anyway.
So then I feel like I should just be myself, but then I end up taking that in the opposite extreme, and I completely stop caring about how I come off to people. I've already felt this semester like I've been alienating current friends and keeping myself from meeting new ones, because I've spent most of my free time in my room on the computer or studying, and when I go out I generally keep to myself. I feel really bad right now because this past Thanksgiving I acted like a huge bitch to my family; I basically sat in my room and moped about how I didn't have Internet and didn't have any time to read, and was on a short fuse whenever I was out. I don't want to twist myself into a pretzel to get more people to like me, but I don't want to be cruel to those who do care about me in my attempt to be myself.
So in essence I'm asking: How do I find the happy medium between caring too much about what others think, and not caring enough? How do I work on my social skills without destroying my self-image in the process?
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
Also, I bought tix to see Jeff Tweedy next month. Cannot wait!
I've been obsessively singing those lines from his song,
And a piece of pecan pie...ie...ie.
[www.myspace.com]
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
Maybe stay with family and friends if you're feeling insecure. Has he been violent in the past? The police is always a way to go in that case.
You're doing the right thing! Take care of yourself: what do YOU want to do now? Bake cookies? Go out?
11/28/09
I have a really big problem with people who are overly nice. Its like they baby me. This new girl seriously elongates each syllable when she talks to me. It has gotten to the point where I barely respond to her because I can't stand how she talks. Does anyone think I'm being to harsh??
11/28/09
But it would depend on whether she does it to everyone or just you. If you alone are treated to this condescending kid glove treatment then by all means, talk to her about it and ask her what's up. But if she just does it to everyone... oh well, I guess she's just annoying! She probably has good intentions and doesn't realize how she's coming off. In that case, maybe think of her like a character on The Office who's magically been transported to your work to amuse you.
11/28/09
She acts this way to everyone and although my co-workers are a bit put off by her teacher voice, she is pretty good at customer service, so she doesn't put a dent in the company at all.
And I'd rather have Erin from The Office work here. She is, too, way nice but at the cutest level.
11/28/09
11/28/09
11/28/09
Anyone ever feel like they have to be 3000% perfect in everything they do just to be acceptable?
11/28/09
But it's incredibly damaging when it consumes you. I've postponed some things in life simply out of fear that I would not excel at them.
Took the plunge with law school-- I'm soooo far from perfect, but surprisingly, I'm okay with it :o)
What's going on with you that's making you feel the pressure to be perfect?
11/28/09
I think it's partially friend drama, which is totally the best kind (and also why I can't talk about this on my LJ or to people I know IRL. Thank god for the internets.)
What's going on is this: I'm an underachiever. Endocrine tumors, hypoglycemia, a raft of depression-like side effects and our friends Ana and Mia washed me out of university and any achievement of worth. I am now an old fart of 30 with nothing to my name. Finally something is improving. I'm going back to school, I'm training for a marathon, I have painting comissions, I passed round one of admissions selection for Snotty Art School. BUT.
I'm getting a lot of 'well, even if you *don't* just fail this time too, you'll still never get anywhere' attitude.
With a nice side of:
'Even if you do get somewhere, you'll still be so far behind everyone else that you'll never be worth anything.'
Plus!
'Don't whine about it or complain about being being unsupportive, no one likes a whiner and no one likes a loser either, you're both.'
It's discouraging because it feels as if every time I try and achieve some small step forward- and usually I can accomplish that- it never seems to change anything. I'm still The Total Loser. I achieve things and they just don't matter. It's like I could struggle for the rest of my life and nothing I do will ever be enough to take me out of loserdom and into 'okay.' Shit, I'd kill for 'okay' at this point.
Anyway, I don't mean to whine. I just can't talk to my friends about this. It's used as ammo for why I'm such a loserface later.
11/28/09
I like to work hard and put effort and training into whatever I do, and feel a little embarassed if I come off as an amateur or a total newbie.
11/28/09
11/28/09
Don't worry about the age thing. Age really is all relative. My uncle started a second career at age 45 and loves it. Plenty of people do switch tracks in life. (I've got several students in my class that are in their upper 30s-mid 40s. You couldn't tell. Honestly. They get treated no differently by the professors etc.)
Ignore the haters. My mom is the biggest hater in my life (which sucks). I have come to the realization that if I achieve every one of my life goals, she will still not be proud of me. And that's okay-- it's not about her goals, her dreams, her pride. It is my life.
And it is your life. If other people think you're a "loser" despite your achievements--that's their problem. If a small step brings you joy or pride, then it was a great move. Don't worry so much about those around you. You can't live to make other people happy-- focus on yourself for a little while!
11/28/09
I guess it really is perfectionism that won't let you just try and go through the necessary process of messing up and learning?
Either way, yeah. I hear THAT.
11/28/09
I have a few family-type haters myself in addition to many friend-type haters. Sucks. I guess all you can do, really, is ignore them.
11/28/09
11/28/09
It sounds all Stuart Smalley or whatever that guy's name is, but you know what? You are good enough! You're doing something hard - everyone sometimes acts like college is just what people do, but that's not true. College and higher education is hard work, and you're doing something to try to get yourself a better future and get yourself where you want to go. That's commendable, not something to brush aside.
Our friends Ana and Mia are cruel and controlling, and it's hard to break away from them. But it sounds like you have, or that you're trying. A marathon! That's awesome! Not everyone can do that, either. I know I couldn't. I hate running and I am lazy as crap.
I'm a perfectionist, too, and I can totally relate. I think it's both a great thing, because you work hard, but poisonous too, because you put so much work into things that matter so little. Try not to get yourself down too much. I know that's kinda useless to say, but you're working hard, and you deserve a break.